Women marrying younger men

[katsa]

From a christian standpoint do you see anything wrong with a woman marrying a man say 11 years younger than her, I know its common for older men to marry much younger women but the other way round ...

 

[handy]

I'm older than my husband. Not by 11 years, but had we met when I was 18 instead of 38, it would have been illegal! : And, our marriage is great. Of course we were older when we got married. I think it would have been harder if I had married my husband when I was 25 and he was 20. Most 20 year old guys aren't as mature as girls at that age, much less a woman of 25 who has already attained her degree and made some major life's choices. I didn't know Steve as a 20 year old, but from the stories told, I can't imagine being truly submissive to him at that stage of our lives.

 

[tim-from-pa]

I'm almost 50 now, but back when I was in my 20's, I always dated women in their 30's. They did not seem to be interested in the 3 subjects that many younger women liked: me, myself and I. As a matter of fact, many were divorced and even had kids. They were so appreciative that a younger guy took interest and asked them out.

Ironically, I found the biggest obstacle to such a relationship were the women themselves. Maybe that was too far back then for them to be accepting of such a relationship, as that was a fairly new concept in the 80's.

I often wondered why they were worried about getting old, and then when a younger guy took interest, they did not take it seriously.

 

[katsa]

But the question is - Is there anything biblicaly wrong with this? some people think so

 

[boford]

I dont think it wrong to marry somebody that you love

 

[handy]

Where in the Bible does it address specific ages as far as a couple is concerned?

 

[tim-from-pa]

But the question is - Is there anything biblicaly wrong with this? some people think so

I'm not aware of anything biblically that says so....and if so, what is the limit? Any woman that is older, even if it's only 4 months like my wife? If, say 10 years is too much, then why not 5, or 2?

The only biblical mandates I am aware of is involving moral laws such as incest, etc. there were certain mates you were not to select, but that was not based on age.

As a matter of fact, if we check the book of Ruth, when Naomi's sons and husband died, she stated to her daughters-in-law:

"And Naomi said, Turn again, my daughters: why will ye go with me? are there yet any more sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands?"

She was saying in effect that did she herself have a husband to bear more sons to be their wives, as the next of kin was required by Law to take on their brother's widow. Obviously, such a husband would have been many years younger, perhaps 20 years, but the Law would have allowed it according to her testimony.

I challenge anyone to find me scripture that states otherwise because I read the bible front-to-back and back-to-front and in all these years I have not found anything that implied age as a criteria.

From the pragmatic end, I realize the human biology was such that women who reached the age where they could conceive were expected to have husbands, and the husbands in turn were the head of the tribes implying an older husband. But I do not find this mandated.

 

[antitox]

God has not placed any barriers over basic age differences. After all, you just don't know who might fit you in the right way.
I think the common thing we see is older men and younger women, mainly because of maturity development that differs between men and women. Probably most people would think that the men should be older for that reason or for his role in leading. But every now and then, there's a guy that doesn't fit the maturity mold of common males. There, we might find him marrying an older woman.
Personally, I find older women attractive too.

 

[Lewis]

No the Bible does not talk about it. I went with a person who was 8 years older than me for 10 years. And I also went with another who was about 10 years older. My first wife was older than me by about 5 months' which is nothing' but my current wife of 8 years is a year younger. Yes folks I was married before' when I was not saved or cared to know Jesus, and I messed that marriage up.

 

[MrVersatile48]

A purely practical consideration that comes to mind is the menopause stopping women from bearing children, when the young guy suddenly realises that he wants kids?

A 2nd is that many women say, up to age @ 36, 'I don't ever want to have kids

But, at 37,38, 39 they feel the biological clock tick away & change their minds

That begs the related question, 'Is it biblical to marry & not want to have kids?'

Yes: Jesus said, speaking of this climax generation of all history in Matt 24 - & Mark 13 & Luke 21 - see http://www.BibleGateway.org - "Woe to pregnant women & nursing mothers in those days"

Me?

I turn 60 in January & would only consider a lady of 38+, as she'll know that there are medical risks in childbearing 'beyond a certain age'

(As they said when Paul McCartney was last a dad, "Can you seriously picture him, at 70, trying to play football with his 10-year-old son?")

It's biblical to be wise & practical, yes?

God bless!

Ian

 

[tim-from-pa]

That begs the related question, 'Is it biblical to marry & not want to have kids?'.....

A purely practical consideration that comes to mind is the menopause stopping women from bearing children, when the young guy suddenly realises that he wants kids?

A good point, and I do not want to give the impression that I am against the family. This very point came up when I was with a 38-year-old woman and I was 24. She felt she had one already and was not sure she could have any more, and that would have been a problem if I wanted any. Looking back, I am glad I did not marry her---- not because of the age difference, but because she was divorced and mixing families is not good. Had she been widowed it would have been different.

However, that being said, women can bear children well into their 40's. My wife and I are virtually the same age, she's older by a mere 4 months. I know she's capable of bearing children yet at age 48 (although it may not be as safe as at 28).

I think my point, and the original question was not a severely wide age gap. I believe 11 years was stated. My wife bore our second child at age 31. Would that work with a 20-year-old seed of a male? Of course. She could have as easily been 35 and the man 24 if we want a little more age maturity to the equation. In other words, that age difference would not severely hinder the possibility of having kids. And since women tend to outlive men, their deaths may be closer together so that one or the other would not have to sit in widowhood too long.

Me?

I turn 60 in January & would only consider a lady of 38+, as she'll know that there are medical risks in childbearing 'beyond a certain age'

Hate to break it to you, mate, but I think that's too young for ya. She's on fire yet at 38, no matter what they say, and you'd be in for a surprise (kid). And if you want someone young enough to be your daughter, then be prepared for your wife to be seen as your daughter, and people calling you "gramps" regarding your own kid, unless you look very, very young for your age. I just saw an article in "Dear Abby" about the 70-year-old being sensitive to being perceived as the grandfather of his own kid.

At 48, if I had to do it over, I definitely would not choose anyone less than 38, and even at the early 30's, such women are starting to look a tad like "kids" to me now. I'm young enough yet that if I chose someone a generation under me, I'd definitely be robbing the cradle.

 

[Lewis]

Well my dad is 74 and his current wife not my mother, is 54 and he has been with her since she was around 27 or 28. And I have a 25 year old brother out the deal. Yes folks my dad left my mom for a younger woman.

 

[tim-from-pa]

Well my dad is 74 and his current wife not my mother, is 54 and he has been with her since she was around 27 or 28. And I have a 25 year old brother out the deal. Yes folks my dad left my mom for a younger woman.

Yes, I can sense your hurt---- we'll at least I hope he's happy in his marriage. Because that would not be God-inspired and the union will only endure on human effort alone--- it seems to have lasted his long and you got a half brother out of it and proves the point I made in my previous comment. Although I do not know the circumstances and that was probably planned, but I won't ask. :-D

To be a tad sarcastic, this is the kind of stuff that makes those of us into genealogy a little tougher, but just a few short generations ago it did not seem to be so prevalent. This was more common in the last century or so.

 

[Lewis]

Well I like Kathy' and my dad was lied to her and my mom at th time. He told Kathy that he was separated from my mom' and he did not tell my mom about Kathy at all. He was still living with my mom when my brother was born. And also he has 2 other children from to other women' while he was with my mom. One is 49 and the other is 25 the same as him and Kathy's son. So dad was really going. And I use to act just like him. I just met my 25 year old sister about 3 years ago. My 49 year old brother I knew about' but I did not tell my mother. And I knew about him for about 25 to 30 years. But I just saw him for the first time about 3 months ago. And I introduced him to my father his dad, around August the 5th 2007. That was weird. But my 25 year old sister and my 49 year old brother I made sure that they got to meet their folks. And my mother greeted them with open arms, even though my dad had them behind her back. My mom even calls my sister' and my 49 year old brother calls her. She said it is not their fault.
But anyway when the man has children outside of wedlock, or even if he is not married, the children are full brothers and sisters, not half. Because the man gives the seed. And he gives the life, to the egg, and determines the sex of the child. Only when women do this it is half.