Would you consider it incest?

[Classik]

If a couple gave birth to a baby boy, but adopts a girl for whatever reason they have; would you consider it "incest" or "sin" if the boy grows up to marry the girl?

Another Classik question.

 

[JohnDB]

Yes. It's crossing the line of family love with romantic love.

 

[ezra]

If a couple gave birth to a baby boy, but adopts a girl for whatever reason they have; would you consider it "incest" or "sin" if the boys grows to marry the girl?

Another Classik question.

its not incest not sure i agree with it. but she is of no blood line to them.its really best not to

 

[JohnDB]

When dealing with the world of adoption and foster care it gets really twisted.

Heard of a family adopting a 17 3/4 year old just to keep them from dating a family member... Even though they never grew up together the kids had to stop seeing each other.

Most of the time those in the public foster care system without family support are broken people. Incapable of normal family bonding. A term of reactive-attatchment syndrome is applied but it basically means that if they love you they must leave you...and if you have a bad relationship with them (abusive or something else) they will always be there.

It's a very twisted world once a family gives up on a little one. Those close familial bonds are very important in every child's life. When they are twisted or warped or even non-existant the child is damaged as a result.

 

[OzSpen]

If a couple gave birth to a baby boy, but adopts a girl for whatever reason they have; would you consider it "incest" or "sin" if the boy grows up to marry the girl?

Another Classik question.

Classik,

This is a provocative and penetrating question.

I think it would be helpful to obtain some dictionary definitions for clarification of exactly what incest is.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary gives this definition that incest is 'sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law to marry' (2015 S v incest).

Encyclopaedia Britannica provides this definition: 'Incest, sexual relations between persons who, because of the nature of their kin relationships, are prohibited by law or custom from intermarrying' (2015 S v incest).

This is part of Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology's explanation of 'incest':

The biblical prohibitions against incest are found in the Old Testament in three main groups of texts: Leviticus 18:6-18; 20:11, 12, 14, 17, 19, 20, 21; Deuteronomy 27:20-23.Marital relations with the following persons are forbidden: one's mother, father's wife,sister and half-sister, son's daughter, daughter's daughter, step-sister (a possible meaning of Lev 18:11 ), father's sister, mother's sister, father's brother's wife, daughter-in-law, brother's wife, wife's mother, and the joint marriage of a woman and her daughter, a woman and her son's or daughter's daughter, a woman and her sister (while the former is still alive, Lev 18:18 ), a woman and her mother. Hebrew and Jewish practice as found in the biblical narratives does not always accord with the above prohibitions (cf. Gen 20:12 ; 29 Exodus 6:16 Exodus 6:18 Exodus 6:20; Num 26:59; 2 Sam 13:12-13 ; Mark 6:17-29 ). Such practices may be accounted for individually on the basis that they occurred: prior to the origin of the prohibitions, in ignorance, or possibly in defiance of them. Also, in contrast to Leviticus 20:21 stands the legislation and practice of levirate marriage, a special case in which a brother or close kin is expected to marry the childless widow of a brother and father a child who would carry on the family lineage in the dead brother's name (from BibleStudyTools 2014 S v incest).

Therefore, it seems to me that the nature of he 'kin relationship' (genetic relationship?) between the boy and the adopted girl would not prevent them from marrying UNLESS there was a custom or law in the culture to prevent this from happening.

Oz

 

[OzSpen]

When dealing with the world of adoption and foster care it gets really twisted.

Heard of a family adopting a 17 3/4 year old just to keep them from dating a family member... Even though they never grew up together the kids had to stop seeing each other.

Most of the time those in the public foster care system without family support are broken people. Incapable of normal family bonding. A term of reactive-attatchment syndrome is applied but it basically means that if they love you they must leave you...and if you have a bad relationship with them (abusive or something else) they will always be there.

It's a very twisted world once a family gives up on a little one. Those close familial bonds are very important in every child's life. When they are twisted or warped or even non-existant the child is damaged as a result.

John,

Yes, there can be some damaged foster and adopted children but I urge you not to apply that across the board for these reasons:

1. I have been happily married for 47 years to the most delightful Christian woman who was adopted by her parents when she was 3 weeks old. Here birth mother was a local nurse who cared more for her job than a baby. Her adoptive parents are the only parents my wife has ever known. A couple years ago, we made contact with her birth mother who was rude, rejecting and didn't want anything to do with my wife. My darling is delighted she was raised by exceptionally loving parents.
2. I've been a marriage and family counsellor for 34 years. For 11 years I was the founding co-ordinator of a youth and children's counselling centre that took referrals primarily from the department of child safety (they deal with children in foster care). Many of these children and families were helped to healing and wholeness by counselling interventions.
3. Don't overlook the power of Jesus to heal broken relationships. He is a specialist in healing broken lives, whether they be children or adults.

Oz

 

[JohnDB]

John,

Yes, there can be some damaged foster and adopted children but I urge you not to apply that across the board for these reasons:

1. I have been happily married for 47 years to the most delightful Christian woman who was adopted by her parents when she was 3 weeks old. Here birth mother was a local nurse who cared more for her job than a baby. Her adoptive parents are the only parents my wife has ever known. A couple years ago, we made contact with her birth mother who was rude, rejecting and didn't want anything to do with my wife. My darling is delighted she was raised by exceptionally loving parents.
2. I've been a marriage and family counsellor for 34 years. For 11 years I was the founding co-ordinator of a youth and children's counselling centre that took referrals primarily from the department of child safety (they deal with children in foster care). Many of these children and families were helped to healing and wholeness by counselling interventions.
3. Don't overlook the power of Jesus to heal broken relationships. He is a specialist in healing broken lives, whether they be children or adults.

Oz

Infant adoption does work usually. I was speaking of a different scenario.

 

[OzSpen]

Infant adoption does work usually. I was speaking of a different scenario.

I know there are bad experiences with adoptive and foster parents. I've counselled them for many years. However, the topic here is whether it is OK for a child genetically related to parents to marry a child in that family who is not genetically related to the parents.

I say, 'Yes', if government and culture allow it.

 

[JohnDB]

I know there are bad experiences with adoptive and foster parents. I've counselled them for many years. However, the topic here is whether it is OK for a child genetically related to parents to marry a child in that family who is not genetically related to the parents.

I say, 'Yes', if government and culture allow it.

:drool

Sorry...just couldn't even think of having that kind of relationship... Blood kin or adopted kin. It's part of the powdered butt syndrome. If you ever had a role in applying powder in diapers for a person you never consider them an equal...

 

[OzSpen]

:drool

Sorry...just couldn't even think of having that kind of relationship... Blood kin or adopted kin. It's part of the powdered butt syndrome. If you ever had a role in applying powder in diapers for a person you never consider them an equal...

That's not what the OP is addressing, in my understanding. It is not what you or I would like. It has to do with is it OK for a child in the family who is not genetically related to the parents marrying another child in the family who is genetically related.

I support the 'Yes' case if it is legal and culturally legitimate.

My point had zero to do with a clean, powdered bottom. I've cleaned the bottom of children who were not my kin (not many) and that was no big deal.

Oz

 

[JohnDB]

That's not what the OP is addressing, in my understanding. It is not what you or I would like. It has to do with is it OK for a child in the family who is not genetically related to the parents marrying another child in the family who is genetically related.

I support the 'Yes' case if it is legal and culturally legitimate.

My point had zero to do with a clean, powdered bottom. I've cleaned the bottom of children who were not my kin (not many) and that was no big deal.

Oz

Do you have any siblings?
I'm thinking that you're missing a key element here.

There's a reason its illegal and considered immoral... Because the notion is distasteful.

It's that familial bond and status that cannot be crossed unless there is something wrong emotionally.

 

[jasonc]

Ew,thatView attachment 7602 would be like marrying thus girl on 15 years.

 

[OzSpen]

Do you have any siblings?
I'm thinking that you're missing a key element here.

There's a reason its illegal and considered immoral... Because the notion is distasteful.

It's that familial bond and status that cannot be crossed unless there is something wrong emotionally.

Yes, I have siblings - a brother & sister.

I'm not missing anything. Where in the New Covenant Scripture does it oppose a foster or adopted child marrying a genetic child to the parents?

Your idea of the familial bond not being crossed is your opinion. It's not mine when it does not involve the marrying of children genetically related to the parents.

I'll not discuss this further with you as you are wanting to dump emotional stuff on me that is unwarranted.

 

[Eugene]

If a couple gave birth to a baby boy, but adopts a girl for whatever reason they have; would you consider it "incest" or "sin" if the boy grows up to marry the girl?

I've not read all the other replies, but wonder if this could be applied to the family of God. In Christ we are born of God, we too are adopted into all the benefits of a son, and as such should we be denied marrying a Christian woman?