• Happy New Year 2025!

    Blessings to the CFN community!

    May 2025 be your best year yet!

  • CFN has a new look and a new theme

    "I bore you on eagle's wings, and brought you to Myself" (Exodus 19:4)

    More new themes will be coming in the future!

  • Desire to be a vessel of honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ?

    Join For His Glory for a discussion on how

    https://christianforums.net/threads/a-vessel-of-honor.110278/

  • CFN welcomes new contributing members!

    Please welcome Roberto and Julia to our family

    Blessings in Christ, and hope you stay awhile!

  • Have questions about the Christian faith?

    Come ask us what's on your mind in Questions and Answers

    https://christianforums.net/forums/questions-and-answers/

  • Read the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ?

    Read through this brief blog, and receive eternal salvation as the free gift of God

    /blog/the-gospel

  • Taking the time to pray? Christ is the answer in times of need

    https://christianforums.net/threads/psalm-70-1-save-me-o-god-lord-help-me-now.108509/

  • Focus on the Family

    Strengthening families through biblical principles.

    Focus on the Family addresses the use of biblical principles in parenting and marriage to strengthen the family.

    Read daily articles from Focus on the Family in the Marriage and Parenting Resources forum.

Yesterday Marked Five Years That My Girlfriend and I Have Been Dating.

Isilwen said:
We plan on being married. We just cannot get married right now. I will be going through bankruptcy, and I am not going to drag her into the middle of it by marrying her.

So, for now, marriage will have to wait.
Click to expand...

Have you discussed all the implications of this with her?
The marriage vows say ' For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. '
I appricate you don't want to involve her in your financial mess, but is she willing to be involved in it?
 
Who Me said:
Have you discussed all the implications of this with her?
The marriage vows say ' For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. '
I appricate you don't want to involve her in your financial mess, but is she willing to be involved in it?
Click to expand...

She is thankful that I don't want to involve her in the bankruptcy and is willing to wait till afterwards to get married. Once the bankruptcy is over, we are free and clear to marry.

She also understands that the bankruptcy isn't really my fault as I was fine till child support went up as did my health insurance, while my pay hasn't exactly gone up to match.

I also feel I should mention, I wouldn't have gone the bankruptcy route if she had said no to me doing it. We sat down and talked about it. I also had gotten a debt consolidation consult and was told that I don't bring enough money to do debt consolidation and that bankruptcy would be better.
 
Last edited:
Isilwen said:
That is not how it is to be done as we're to follow the law of the land. We will be married once the bankruptcy is done and over with.
Click to expand...
Thank you for the explanation. I now understand
 
Isilwen said:
She is thankful that I don't want to involve her in the bankruptcy and is willing to wait till afterwards to get married. Once the bankruptcy is over, we are free and clear to marry.

She also understands that the bankruptcy isn't really my fault as I was fine till child support went up as did my health insurance, while my pay hasn't exactly gone up to match.

I also feel I should mention, I wouldn't have gone the bankruptcy route if she had said no to me doing it. We sat down and talked about it. I also had gotten a debt consolidation consult and was told that I don't bring enough money to do debt consolidation and that bankruptcy would be better.
Click to expand...

thank you for explaining.
 
Who Me said:
thank you for explaining.
Click to expand...

You're welcome!

I know it seems strange, that should wait this long, but we are both quite fond (as she puts it) of each other and she is happy to wait.
 
This is quite the thread... I don't think I have ever heard a Christian accuse another Christian of NOT believing their testimony. Either the truth is being told or there is deception going on... which is between that person and GOD.
If one has NOTHING to base their accusations on ...Is that not slander?

I found this thread very sad to read.
 
Isilwen said:
I cannot speak for Quantrill, but usually it means that the couple has had sex. That sex equals marriage in God's eyes.
Click to expand...
Yes, I know many take it that way. I was wondering if Quantrill meant it that way or something else.

But since there is a biblical sin of fornication, which includes pre-marital sex, clearly that is not true. Just having sex does not make one "married in God's eyes."
 
D-D-W said:
Yes, I know many take it that way. I was wondering if Quantrill meant it that way or something else.

But since there is a biblical sin of fornication, which includes pre-marital sex, clearly that is not true. Just having sex does not make one "married in God's eyes."
Click to expand...

Clearly? Rape is a sin. Would you agree? Adultry is a sin. Would you agree?

But, when a man and woman agree and want and do have sex with each other, and are not tied by bounds of marriage already, why is that not marriage in God's eyes? They become one flesh. You do understand, 'one flesh'?

From your perspective, you are going to have to now prove what is an acceptable 'marriage ceremony'. Is it a church wedding? A Jewish wedding. A Justice of the peace wedding? Which one does God acknowledge?

Quantrill
 
Quantrill said:
Clearly? Rape is a sin. Would you agree? Adultry is a sin. Would you agree?
Click to expand...
Yes I agree.
Quantrill said:
But, when a man and woman agree and want and do have sex with each other, and are not tied by bounds of marriage already, why is that not marriage in God's eyes? They become one flesh. You do understand, 'one flesh'?
Click to expand...
Not necessarily one flesh. That only comes from intentionally invoking a covenant. Just having sex with no permanent commitment to each other is fornication - a sin - and NOT the covenant of marriage.
 
D-D-W said:
Yes I agree.

Not necessarily one flesh. That only comes from intentionally invoking a covenant. Just having sex with no permanent commitment to each other is fornication - a sin - and NOT the covenant of marriage.
Click to expand...

Ok. So, now, as I said, you need to prove who is married and who is not. So, who is it?

Quantrill
 
Last edited:
Quantrill said:
From your perspective, you are going to have to now prove what is an acceptable 'marriage ceremony'. Is it a church wedding? A Jewish wedding. A Justice of the peace wedding? Which one does God acknowledge?
Click to expand...
If God accepted "Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" as a marriage covenant statement, I think any intentional statement of marriage would be sufficient.

However, we are also in the NT commanded to follow the laws of the secular society. So for someone to be married, they would have to follow the laws that define marriage in whatever jurisdiction they are in.

1 Peter 2:13 Romans 13:1
 
D-D-W said:
If God accepted "Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" as a marriage covenant statement, I think any intentional statement of marriage would be sufficient.

However, we are also in the NT commanded to follow the laws of the secular society. So for someone to be married, they would have to follow the laws that define marriage in whatever jurisdiction they are in.

1 Peter 2:13 Romans 13:1
Click to expand...

Where in the Scripture did God accept 'bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh' as a marriage covenant?

So any 'intentional statement' means a couple is married but the union of sex, one flesh, doesn't? Begs the question, how do you prove 'intentional'?

Really, we follow the laws of secualr society concerning marriage? Thus what does 'common law marriage' mean"?

You are mixing man's definiton of marriage and God's.

Quantrill
 
I am going to ask that you guys make your own thread or take it private please?
 
Isilwen said:
We're dating. We live apart and do not have sex as we're waiting to be married.
Click to expand...
Let's see if I can last in these forums for more than a few days without getting offended... LOL

This is the GIST of this entire thread... Well... actually someone saying that they finally met someone they feel love for and by is the actual OP.... This should have been a CONGRATULATORY and PRAISE worthy thread.... however... for some reason.... it turned into an inquisition.

I say.... CONGRATULATIONS on finding a woman who loves you and supports you.
I say... WOW to you remaining CELIBATE in an age where many Christians are NOT doing so.
I say... THANK YOU JESUS!!!
 
Can we all just give a blesing to the OP and pray for a healthy relationship. Im sick of the negative in this world its draging me down and in general its no good for anyones mental health. Lets all love and care and support one another and just make this world a better place. Thank you.
 
Last edited:
5 years is a long time, it shows there is commitment in your relationship, i think its best that you tie the knot, because of the spiritual and financial bonds it creates. Its not wise to have sex with someone over and over again without getting married. Although i would admit many people get married after being together for years and then break up after marrying, it makes no sense to me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top