young adult still under parental authority?

[evenifigoalone]

When you're an adult but still live with your parents, how does parental authority work...?
I've been allowed to make my own decisions moreso ever since I legally became an adult.


Okay, the real question is...heck, I'm not even completely sure. I guess it's about whether my parents should know about the kind of shows I decide to watch.
I recently began watching this show I know my mother would disapprove of. I've told her a little bit about it, and am scared to tell her anymore.
She's awesome and all, but to be honest...she'll find something wrong with just about any show there is.


I think my dad might like the show--he watches some stuff my mom disapproves and I've watched some of it with him. Still, there are things he might not like about it.
I guess I feel like I should be able to have more freedom on things like this. (And my dad would probably agree with me, but I'm not sure.) My parents trust my judgment, especially my dad, but they know I'm not perfect.
Plus my mother's sister was telling her that she should be watching what my brother and I do on the internet more closely.


Also, my younger brother keeps asking me to let him watch the show...well, frankly I don't think he should. And what's more my mom doesn't want him to and I know my dad wouldn't.


I feel kind of silly for making this thread...:
I was planning on talking to my dad about it, but am kind of nervous about it.

 

[cleanfreak]

what is the name of the show?

 

[evenifigoalone]

Fullmetal Alchemist.
Not a terrible show. Has some cussing, is heavy on violence and emotions, shows a lot of blood...every once in a great while an innuendo. There are some characters in the show that embody the seven sins, which I know my mom and probably my dad wouldn't like. Those characters aren't good guys, but still.
I like it for the plot, the depth, and the main characters.

...keep in mind until this I've been mostly watching stuff like Star Wars, Ben 10, FiM, and Sonic. At least, as far as my main fandoms go.
I'm probably being silly making such a big deal out of this.

 

[reba]

Would you feel comfortable asking Jesus to watch it with you?

 

[DarkHorseRising]

Would you feel comfortable asking Jesus to watch it with you?

FMA? I would... it's an interesting take on mortality, as well as ethics and the limits people will/should go to prolong life, etc.

Parents really have no say after you're 18, assuming you pay rent or something along those lines.

 

[DarkHorseRising]

Fullmetal Alchemist.
Not a terrible show. Has some cussing, is heavy on violence and emotions, shows a lot of blood...every once in a great while an innuendo. There are some characters in the show that embody the seven sins, which I know my mom and probably my dad wouldn't like. Those characters aren't good guys, but still.
I like it for the plot, the depth, and the main characters.

...keep in mind until this I've been mostly watching stuff like Star Wars, Ben 10, FiM, and Sonic. At least, as far as my main fandoms go.
I'm probably being silly making such a big deal out of this.

Original is good. Brotherhood wasn't quite so awesome.

 

[evenifigoalone]

Oh yeah, I'm watching the original currently. It's good.
I've seen some clips from Brotherhood, and from what little I've seen the original does look better.


Talked to my dad this morning. He said he trusts my judgment more than I apparently think. I want to be honest with him, though, and I don't want to disappoint him. He said this doesn't disappoint him.

 

[handy]

I liked both the original and Brotherhood... story lines all in all better in the original but I thought the ending of Brotherhood was better...

The Tom prefers the original as well... Viola lost interest with Brotherhood.

Yes, I let the kids watch and yes, I think Jesus would watch it with us as well. It is a very interesting take on morality and it shows viewers the respect of not portraying complex issues as black and white.

Having said all that...

Your parents house, your parents rules.... Even though you're over 18, as long as you're living u nder their roof, you need to respect their rules. If you don't want them commenting on what shows to watch or checking out your Internet habits... you'll have to work hard, find a couple of friends to share living expenses and move on out.

I think it would be OK to have a conversation about it. Something along the lines of "Mom, Dad, now that I'm 18, I would like us to look differently at things such as my privacy and my choices. If I promise to keep in mind that I'm a role model to my younger brother and respect your rules, will you allow me my own choices about what I watch and do..."

A conversation like that is certianly OK to have... but the bottom line is... their house, their rules...
... and if you go into the conversation assuring them that you understand that and you'll abide by whatever they have to say... You'll probably find them much more willing to see you half-way on this.

 

[evenifigoalone]

Thank you, handy, that's the sort of answer I was looking for. I'll take your advice.



I would like to say that by making this thread I didn't mean to imply that I don't respect my parents. I do respect them and I understand that they have a right to be concerned.

 

[NinaMMitchell]

When you're legally an adult and still living with your parents, I think you should respect their house and their wishes, but I don't think you should still be treated like a minor. I think you should be able to make your own choices and I don't think you should have to ask your parents permission for most things, as long as it doesn't involve their property. I lived with my parents until 2 years ago (age 23) when I got married. Pretty much from the time I turned 18 or 19, I had complete freedom. The only thing I couldn't do was be in my room with my bf with the door closed. Other than that, I did what I wanted, when I wanted. Granted, I was responsible with my freedom (apart from a few drinking episoded that nothing came of). If parents smother their kids too much, even when they're legally an adult and still living at home, then once they're on their own they're likey to take their new freedom too far ande start doing things that are dangerous and irresponsible b/c all of a sudden they can do whatever they want.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Would you feel comfortable asking Jesus to watch it with you?

This really is the heart of the matter. Also realizing that Jesus taught that it is not what we consume, but what our hearts and minds put out that is to be considered as well. Let's be honest, there are not too many completely clean television shows these days. Consider what's going on, how it's impacting your thoughts and go from there.

 

[evenifigoalone]

Gah, now there's another problem related to this one.
The initial thing this was about--whether I'm still under my parent's authority about what I watch or not--is solved now.


But now my brother is getting increasingly interested in the show. (I'll be honest, that's largely my fault.)
My mom doesn't want him to watch it. And I understand that. I told her I'd respect that. But I've gone and unintentionally gone back on my word by unintentionally getting him even more interested.
I talked to her about this, apologizing--I told her I'd stop. And I intend to.

She said she might want to find out more about the show since my brother is interested. I told her I already know that she will definitely disapprove of it, but if she wants to check it out there are plenty of clips on YouTube.
(I did send her a short video about the show, and she thinks it looks Satanic. -_- So, yeah.)


I guess the issue now is how to keep myself from encouraging my brother to be interested in it even more. I know it's not helping.
He's 14, so now that he knows it exists he keeps looking up information on it and stuff.

 

[handy]

You, as an elder sister, need to emphasize with your brother that he needs to obey his mom and dad.

You are currently obeying your parents wishes, in whatever way you three worked that out. You can certainly say something along the lines of "Bro, yes, I watch FMA... but then again, I'm 18 and mom and dad have worked out an agreement about this. If they had flat out told me that I couldn't watch it as long as I live here, I'd have to respect that, just as you, still being a minor, have to respect them."

Don't watch the show when he's likely to be around and always emphasize that he needs to obey your folks.

What he chooses to Google or watch when you're not looking really isn't your responsibility... that's between him and his parents.

If he persists in wanting to watch the show, you might decide to not watch it, in order to keep him from stumbling. As cool as the Elric brothers are, I'm sure you love your own brother even more.

 

[evenifigoalone]

I've been trying to tell him that he needs to respect my mom's authority, but...gah, 14 year olds. He just ends up arguing with me.


I can certainly not watch the show around him, avoid showing him anything to do with the show (including fanart), etc, and I plan to. I'll also remind my friend (who got me into the show) that we're not supposed to talk about FMA around him.

We (my brother and I) do have a little game where an FMA character makes an appearance, and it's turned into a kind of roleplay/crossover thing...I'm rather ashamed to admit that.
I asked my mom if we could continue just that. Still, it's probably not the best idea. I shouldn't have encouraged it in the first place.


...why did I have to make this so much harder than it actually is?

 

[evenifigoalone]

I've been trying to tell him that he needs to respect my mom's authority, but...gah, 14 year olds. He just ends up arguing with me.


I can certainly not watch the show around him, avoid showing him anything to do with the show (including fanart), etc, and I plan to. I'll also remind my friend (who got me into the show) that we're not supposed to talk about FMA around him.

We (my brother and I) do have a little game where an FMA character makes an appearance, and it's turned into a kind of roleplay/crossover thing...I'm rather ashamed to admit that.
I asked my mom if we could continue just that. Still, it's probably not the best idea. I shouldn't have encouraged it in the first place.


...why did I have to make this so much harder than it actually is?

So this evening my brother told me that he sent our mom some clips from FMA that were on YouTube so she'll get an idea of what it's like.


Part of me is like...wow, he's being more honest than I would have been in that situation as a 14 year old.

And the other part of me is like...bro, are you trying to get us both lectured? (I mean, I did tell her to look up some clips if she wanted to find out more about FMA, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be nervous about her actually watching them. Though I have tried to be honest with her about it.)

I told him that it was good of him to send her the clips, though. (Even if he shouldn't have looked them up in the first place...)

 

[farouk]

So this evening my brother told me that he sent our mom some clips from FMA that were on YouTube so she'll get an idea of what it's like.


Part of me is like...wow, he's being more honest than I would have been in that situation as a 14 year old.

And the other part of me is like...bro, are you trying to get us both lectured? (I mean, I did tell her to look up some clips if she wanted to find out more about FMA, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be nervous about her actually watching them. Though I have tried to be honest with her about it.)

I told him that it was good of him to send her the clips, though. (Even if he shouldn't have looked them up in the first place...)

questdriven:

So, this kind of straightened out now?

I guess that since now you are a woman the whole issue is not dissimilar to whether your linking for Christian heavy metal/hard rock would be your mom's favorite or not. Fact is, you're a woman, with your own preferences, though you love and respect her very much.

 

[evenifigoalone]

questdriven:

So, this kind of straightened out now?

I guess that since now you are a woman the whole issue is not dissimilar to whether your linking for Christian heavy metal/hard rock would be your mom's favorite or not. Fact is, you're a woman, with your own preferences, though you love and respect her very much.

I'd say the damage has been done--my brother is interested in FMA, and that's not going to change.

I guess it's about as fine as it's going to be. Mom's not thrilled with me watching FMA, either...just another thing we disagree on, I guess. I'm trying to respect her and her authority, though with more and more things popping up that we disagree on, I'm kind of worried I'll come to be seen as the black sheep in the family.