[__ Prayer __] More taunting etc

[journeyman]

I’m trying to be thankful and not focus on the negative things. It just gets difficult. The creepy oppressive mind games remind me of being in a mental hospital . Eek

I’m hoping for peace and some…meaningful things to do….

But the outlook for a whole lot of that is kind of dim. Even just volunteering I started getting the sense that the mind games were ongoing and inescapable. I quit volunteering there and now…???

Maybe I should move eventually…probably not soon but eventually…

I get flash backs too, but soon after I realize the people mocking are the ones to be pitied. They go behind your back because they're ashamed of their own conduct, I've also found all people have some compassion. Once when people were talking and laughing about me behind my back, I explained that I was a recovering addict with extreme paranoia and apologized for seeming weird. Some did treat me better after that. Maybe they also found out someone they loved had a problem. Then it's not as funny.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I get so frustrated with the situation. So called help was never ending punishment. Now I’m almost 40 years old and…

Every single good thing I have is from Jesus Christ directly or indirectly. I’m thankful and blessed it’s just…

Ok high iq estimate?!? Awesome no one will hire me. Nice apartment?!? It’d be even nicer if people would refrain from stomping and picking fights taking my mail etc.

Ugh I’m more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. I just cannot stand the so called helping professions.

 

[daninthelionsden]

I get so frustrated with the situation. So called help was never ending punishment. Now I’m almost 40 years old and…

Every single good thing I have is from Jesus Christ directly or indirectly. I’m thankful and blessed it’s just…

Ok high iq estimate?!? Awesome no one will hire me. Nice apartment?!? It’d be even nicer if people would refrain from stomping and picking fights taking my mail etc.

Ugh I’m more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. I just cannot stand the so called helping professions.

May the provide you fellowship that facilitates a better life for you that you may see your purpose in the Kingdom. Pray this for me too.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Definitely

Sorry for the self pity. God is Good. He has brought sort of deliverance in my own life that builds my faith…

And I’m getting all worked up over the junk that never ends lol

I’ll pray for you and your family…

 

[Christ_empowered]

It’s dawned on me that sometimes being mightily blessed can show what the real world is about better than all those years in darkness poverty etc.

My focus has been wrong and I’m praying to correct this. Truth?

Redemption in Christ is a miracle in my life. My faith is growing my outlook is more biblical and I’m being blessed with more self control which is especially important for me…

And the contempt seems to grow. I keep a low profile. I keep my involvement with neighbors down to a cordial wave here and there..

Contempt grows. Fortunately my parents are extremely kind to me. It’s not just stuff it’s genuine concern and encouragement. And…

Contempt grows. Maybe one day I’ll move? But I’m safe and surprisingly comfortable here.

Ugh rambling…

Thanks for reading etc.

 

[journeyman]

Hi Christ empowered.
I don't know why but when I heard this song in my car today, I thought about our conversations and thought that's why sinners like you and me are here at CF.
I forgot to mention it earlier, but just now God played it for me again to remind me. It's a song by Emerson Lake and Palmer titled "From the Beginning"

 

[Christ_empowered]

Hi

If Jesus Christ had not intervened…

I’d not even be alive. Ugh real world yet again…

Thing is though…my sins were and are against God. He has forgiven me. Do have my parents. Lots of people have psych labels lots of people do drugs in their youth….

Did I mention that I keep a low profile and I’m having this level of ridiculous junk around me?

I went to a local chain drugstore last night. Had to get vitamin C. So…

Walking to my vehicle overhead people talking about my parents not being allowed to help etc and…

They’re retired white collar professionals who live in a small town nearby. I’m just wondering …

What is up with this situation?

 

[Christ_empowered]

Me yet again…

I think the world is probably more cold and cruel and uncaring now than in generations past…

And God’s mercy is as great as ever thank goodness .

Redemption. I don’t think it’s really possible in much of modern society. Never ending treatment for diagnosis xyz maybe a quiet barely tolerated existence if one knows his place in society etc…

Not so much redemption. Maybe part of the reason I get frustrated is because I expect things from the world that just aren’t going to happen especially for me?

 

[citrus]

Me yet again…

I think the world is probably more cold and cruel and uncaring now than in generations past…

And God’s mercy is as great as ever thank goodness .

Redemption. I don’t think it’s really possible in much of modern society. Never ending treatment for diagnosis xyz maybe a quiet barely tolerated existence if one knows his place in society etc…

Not so much redemption. Maybe part of the reason I get frustrated is because I expect things from the world that just aren’t going to happen especially for me?

It is a lot colder than when my grandparents generation. My grandpa once rode his tractor to the store. He rode a horse to the store. Kids rode their bikes. In my father's day Kids rode their bikes around town and stayed out, came home before the street lights turned off. My parents said halloween was a lot different. You excepted snacks and food from people and hadn't had to think anything come about it. His neighbor made popcorn balls and passed them around. No pot brownies or poison. So much closer community and back in the day doctors came to your house to check on you, even on days off. There wasn't porn everywhere. People went to church. People were a lot smarter. At gas stations they pumped gas for you and cleaned your wind shield. Ladies were classy and treated respectfully. My grandpa didn't have electricity. Things sure has changed a lot. Crime rate has rocketed. It's not the same world.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good ol' days......
Love that song.

 

[citrus]

Oh yah. I'm not a country fan, but I know that song. It's a good one. The world's a better place because your in it.

 

[citrus]

It's weird. My grandpa is a great driver. He travels all the time and he uses an old paper map. I have no idea how they do that. They are such small lines. When I look at a map that is all I see, but he uses it to travel. Have no idea how.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Oh yah. I'm not a country fan, but I know that song. It's a good one. The world's a better place because your in it.

Yeah my favorite music is 80s, but I do like some from different genres.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I read on a website for an anti psychiatry ministry…

Thus sort of thing happens when God brings deliverance. Old labels old records…

Never ends. Ugh on the plus side…

Never been committed never been in a state facility never been in prison no felonies…

So although I have to deal with the mental health industry I don’t experience the draconian side of it. Actually saw my counselor today and it was pleasant. I dunno

His main job is running the outpatient clinics. He sees one or two people for counseling at a time. So…thankfully I have him and not some manipulative full time counselor. But then again…

He’s running outpatient state funded clinics. They’re big on drugs into people, often using courts to force treatment. Shudder. I’ve been spared that thank goodness but..

Yeah…ok. Rambling. Thankful trying to put it into perspective.

 

[journeyman]

Hi

If Jesus Christ had not intervened…

I’d not even be alive. Ugh real world yet again…

Thing is though…my sins were and are against God. He has forgiven me. Do have my parents. Lots of people have psych labels lots of people do drugs in their youth….

Did I mention that I keep a low profile and I’m having this level of ridiculous junk around me?

I went to a local chain drugstore last night. Had to get vitamin C. So…

Walking to my vehicle overhead people talking about my parents not being allowed to help etc and…

They’re retired white collar professionals who live in a small town nearby. I’m just wondering …

What is up with this situation?

Hey brother
Im going to bed right now but our King wanted mee to tell you not to worry everything's gonna be OK bro I mean he put me through the ringer this week I thought I was going out of my mind and I wash because I didn't even know how much he loves you. Good night dear believr

PS: I just proofread this text and I didn't type wash but it sure does fit that's the truth.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Me yet again…

Good times! Saw the parents. Mama baked brownies. Came back to my place and…

Mind games. It’s hard to fully explain…there’s a sort of cruelty that probably involves mental health professionals…but at the core it’s just more cruelty plus lies and deception…

Maybe the mental health industry itself is satanic? All the more reason to praise God for His mercy. And…

It’s all so ridiculous. Not just the mental health industry aspect. Did I mention having untreated hiv for 20 years now? God is Good . I obviously recommend treatment. I’m not a denialist but no one ever referred me for treatment and no one ever offered treatment and I was always treated like it was all my fault and..,

Ugh so 20 years in I’m healthy and hopefully I won’t need treatment? Nothing against it and I’m glad newer drugs exist but…toxicity is still an issue. If I can remain healthy without the treatment and the never ending appointments and labs and…on and on…

Awesome

It’s just surreal in some respects and frightening in others. I was so very sick and the psychiatrists in particular reacted by punishing me for being unemployed for being off the psych drugs with more labels and shock treatments and some sort of operation and…

Ugh I have the high iq estimate now. I’m healthy and wrinkle free and bright eyed and I ‘…

May never be able to work and marriage is not an option and I get taunted daily and I’m poor but not living in real poverty and…

Thankful also somewhat confused by the whole thing.

 

[citrus]

I hope you find the help your looking for. As for people talking. I know that probably was hard. You stay strong and do what is best for you.

 

[journeyman]

@ good morning @Christempowered.
I hope you find comfort in this because it comes not from me, but from our comforter who is Jesus Christ.

I didn't think of myself as a hypocrite. I have posted many times here according to what the Scriptures say. They're true as far as God is concerned but they're not true where Jesus is concerned about me.

I I've always known Jesus wanted people to know the Truth abouut what is going to happen on judgment day.

I knew he was going to send people who didn't believe in God to damnation. I just didn't know I was one of the people going there,

sounds funny but Johnn send if someone claims to love Jesus and hates others he's a liar and the truth is not in him.

nobody would ever know the hate I had for the woman im married to because I don't talk about it but I felt it. She hated me too. I asked her for forgiveness and she gave it to me. She never asked me to forgive her and that's OK to as every individual hast to decide how they present themselves to this world.

I just want you to know that our sweet Jesus will save anyone who repairs right up to be next to him on a cross. And I'm glad he showed me this some days ago or I would have been the other thief who wasn't sorry.

Here's the comfort brother. All we need to do is love people God doesn't hate anyone and to prove this and I will prove it....no i wont but Jesus will add just agreeing with him.

I don't know if you saw the post on the Trinity. I said it up in bullet form because it's easy to see if people agree or disagree that way. Point number one Point number to and so on. Just a simple agree or disagree.

It answers why God made us and when he's going to appear again. Can't be important really because people are commenting on posts with those titles.

I know why I identify with you so much my friend and it's because people think I'm crazy. I don't have to defend myself anymore because I know I'm a sinner. It matters how other people see me but only for the sake of Christ that is not because they think Journeymans a good guy it's because Jesus is a great savior.

I just wanted to let you know dear brother all that is needed for salvatiion is to ask our loving father for forgiveness and follow his teaching which is easy if we see the passion Jesus had an agree with it.

It's all I wanted to say bro. Also and I don't know this for a fact because Jesus didn't tell me but I hope there's coffee in heaven and we can sit and have a cup.
God bless you.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Thank you all….

Frustrating. Lol

I lead a decent modest rather boring lifestyle…

And there seems to be some general animosity towards me but this is a small city and I don’t know very many people…

So also confusing.

 

[journeyman]

God has been teaching me that my confusion came from heat. I can't say I love Jesus and hate anyone and have peace.
I may be wrong because I don't really know you but from your post it sounds like you get confused because you're being tormented for no reason. Believers can be treated very badly for no reason and I think maybe they wonder why is this happening to me? That's an easy one bro it's because they did it to our Master.
I say this because either way what I believe Jesus was teaching me to share with you is that we need to forgive no matter what the reason. I wasn'
I justified in hating but you may well be because you are suffering through no fault of your own as our Lord.

i had to let go of my anger to forgive.
And “don't sin by letting anger control you.”[fn] Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, Eph.4:25

It sounds like you need to forgive embracing your grief as our savior did.

I will gladly spend myself and all I have for you, even though it seems that the more Ilove you, the less you love me. 2.Cor.2:15