[__ Praise __] my dad called!

[Christ_empowered]

just to talk! for a few minutes on his lunch break!

ok. i'll cool it with child-like use of !, and get to Praisin' Jesus...

we were usually distant, sometimes angrily estranged. I did bad things, etc., and yet...

he was taking a lil walk during his lunch break, and he called -me- to chit chat a bit with -me- , and...he even praised the condition i"m keeping the condo (he and mama own it, thank God--otherwise, I'd probably be evicted, somehow..."Schizophrenic" tenants aren't exactly popular 'round here...maybe everywhere, anywhere?) in, and...

yeah. easy, breezy...and, not to pat myself on the back too, too much...but I do make delightful, socially appropriate convo. I mean..."Schizophrenic," whatevs...I -now- have more social skills with the madness, etc. than I did as an awkward Rx pill head. true story. this, too, is a gift from God...and a big, one, too (imagine having 0 social skills...possibly, being socially awkward to the point of negative social skills, if that's possible...).


ok...ramble, ramble, ramble...he's doing well, he likes his job, and...he seems to be rather fond of -me- , too, as I am now, in Christ...Abilify-dependent "Schizophrenia" and all.


God is Good!

 

[for_his_glory]

Glad to hear your dad is reaching out to you and praying for a better closer relationship between the two of you. To God be the glory.

 

[JohnDB]

I know that I'm coming from the weeds around the outside of the the golf course here....

But did you ever think that maybe your father actually loves you? Like, as in he is proud of you and your accomplishments?
And actually even cares about your feelings?
Wants to actually be friends with you on an adult to adult level....

If not....don't feel alone. My son has yet to pick up on the "not so subtle clues" I give him either.

 

[stovebolts]

That's great news! So happy for you!

 

[Christ_empowered]

yeah, in my lil world...this is huge. honestly, the more i reflect upon it...its like...earth shattering-ly huge, in terms of how we get along, where he is with me, and how far The Lord has brought me (and, by extension, us) over the 7 years since I got saved.

having my dad call me up for casual banter is...a sign that i really do matter to him, it isn't just pity or parental obligation or...blah blah blah. and...

today, mama and dad and I had chinese take-out together. its happened before, but...

another substantial step forward.

 

[daninthelionsden]

yeah, in my lil world...this is huge. honestly, the more i reflect upon it...its like...earth shattering-ly huge, in terms of how we get along, where he is with me, and how far The Lord has brought me (and, by extension, us) over the 7 years since I got saved.

having my dad call me up for casual banter is...a sign that i really do matter to him, it isn't just pity or parental obligation or...blah blah blah. and...

today, mama and dad and I had chinese take-out together. its happened before, but...

another substantial step forward.

Can I pry just a little for the sake of a lost/suspended relationship with my older son? Did you first become grounded in Christ and proper Christ-like behavior before your Dad reached out to you in this manner? Do you feel that if you still acted as you once did that he would still have the relationship in suspension or some other limited fashion? Was he waiting for you to "come around" to right thinking or maturing? I know all these things have happened as a result of spiritual growth on your part and now you are reaping the benefits thereof. But, I'm interested as from your Dad's viewpoint......if I may.

 

[daninthelionsden]

The reason I ask is that I have placed my relationship with my oldest son in suspension until he comes around(spiritually matures) because he is continually manipulative and I refuse to deal with him as long as he is taking orders from his sister.

 

[Christ_empowered]

ok. i was flamboyantly gay...'gender non-conforming homosexual,' i believe is the technical term...until fairly recently. why? who knows. im healthy now, normal now...i'm even 5'10 vs 5'7 at age 20 (35, now), so...

that miracle (to me) is a big part of it. i needed...Jesus, yes...character development...yes, and...that's ongoing...

I needed Jesus to work miracles for me...

and He has, He's done things I didn't even think or know to pray for.

My dad talks about how I'm smart now, and how I can actually concentrate and do things. that...was almost never the case, before. even before psych 'treatment.' and after 'treatment...' and after my own sins...Ha! brain damaged, destroyed 'mental patients' are, sadly a dime a dozen...

and how can a dad work with -that-, really? especially since it was mostly private facilities that did the operations, shock, etc. (not voluntary, long story), and he had to pay for it? under the promise that they'd 'fix' me? and...

ugh. Basically, we all needed Jesus. I'm saved, by some kind of miracle. dad...??? megachurch was briefly involved in all this -shudder- they're not, now, and I think at least maybe they planted seeds? something to be said for that...

anyway...I needed to change -to the core- in order my parents and I to be a functioning 'family unit.' Jesus has made it happen!

I'm healthy, not burned out, normal, not a 'gender non-conforming homosexual,' etc....

and, although I -need- my parents, I try not to use and abuse their goodness. i mean, don't get me wrong; they draw boundaries, too...although, now that I've demonstrated that Jesus has changed me, I get more leeway, and...

somewhere, somehow, "Schizoaffective, Bipolar type" or maybe, just maybe "severe Bipolar I" come into play, here. was I mentally ill since adolescence? possibly, maybe. if there is such a thing as 'mental illness,' I think i would have qualified. but...

"crazy flamer" no one cared, least of all the 'professionals' in charge of 'treatment' blah blah blah...


God is Good. God is Love. Thankfully, He's extended some -incredible- mercy and grace and overall...benevolence...my way and towards my parents, too. I'm thankful.

 

[JohnDB]

ok. i was flamboyantly gay...'gender non-conforming homosexual,' i believe is the technical term...until fairly recently. why? who knows. im healthy now, normal now...i'm even 5'10 vs 5'7 at age 20 (35, now), so...

that miracle (to me) is a big part of it. i needed...Jesus, yes...character development...yes, and...that's ongoing...

I needed Jesus to work miracles for me...

and He has, He's done things I didn't even think or know to pray for.

My dad talks about how I'm smart now, and how I can actually concentrate and do things. that...was almost never the case, before. even before psych 'treatment.' and after 'treatment...' and after my own sins...Ha! brain damaged, destroyed 'mental patients' are, sadly a dime a dozen...

and how can a dad work with -that-, really? especially since it was mostly private facilities that did the operations, shock, etc. (not voluntary, long story), and he had to pay for it? under the promise that they'd 'fix' me? and...

ugh. Basically, we all needed Jesus. I'm saved, by some kind of miracle. dad...??? megachurch was briefly involved in all this -shudder- they're not, now, and I think at least maybe they planted seeds? something to be said for that...

anyway...I needed to change -to the core- in order my parents and I to be a functioning 'family unit.' Jesus has made it happen!

I'm healthy, not burned out, normal, not a 'gender non-conforming homosexual,' etc....

and, although I -need- my parents, I try not to use and abuse their goodness. i mean, don't get me wrong; they draw boundaries, too...although, now that I've demonstrated that Jesus has changed me, I get more leeway, and...

somewhere, somehow, "Schizoaffective, Bipolar type" or maybe, just maybe "severe Bipolar I" come into play, here. was I mentally ill since adolescence? possibly, maybe. if there is such a thing as 'mental illness,' I think i would have qualified. but...

"crazy flamer" no one cared, least of all the 'professionals' in charge of 'treatment' blah blah blah...


God is Good. God is Love. Thankfully, He's extended some -incredible- mercy and grace and overall...benevolence...my way and towards my parents, too. I'm thankful.

Because with love, Grace (unearned, unwarranted, and completely insane favor) and forgiveness is a big part of it.

And your Father loves you.

 

[Christ_empowered]

yay

I -am- increasingly grateful. I mean....its odd, I was the last person to realize that I was 'gender non-conforming homosexual,' and...the last person to realize I was no longer a 'flamer,' also. funny how that works.

the other, amazing blessings...well, I'm only -now- beginning to realize how tremendously Good God is, and not just to me, either. My older, wiser Pentecostal friend, for instance...

her son is now close to her. yay! and she survived what -ordinarily would have been- a lethal fall down some basement steps...

because God is merciful. God is Love.

now, in terms of my relationship with my parents, may dad in particular...

i was all sorta ungrateful and such. i had my reasons, everyone does. they were going to ditch the 0, and i cannot say i really blame them (that's easier to say because it didn't come to pass, of course). and...

now, they're healthy and happy and doing well in all aspects of their lives (as best I can tell), and I've been made remarkably normal and...whole, albeit imperfect and such.

i dunno. did i mention that I was -never- given Rx treatment for HIV+? true story. for a while there, my parents obviously at least deeply suspected that I had picked up some nasty stuff from out in the world...

and it showed in how they acted towards me (long story). now...can't say I blame them. from 17-19, i $pent their fund$ and came home stupid, burned out, and infected with HIV+. :-(

but, 0 Rx treatment nearly 15 years after a + diagnosis, healthy and normal, and...

God is still in the (what I consider) the miracle working business, as my Pentecostal friend is quick to remind me.

So, I'm healthy and reconciled to really the only people 'round this area who ever cared for or about me, anyway...

to God be the glory and the praise.

 

[daninthelionsden]

yay

I -am- increasingly grateful. I mean....its odd, I was the last person to realize that I was 'gender non-conforming homosexual,' and...the last person to realize I was no longer a 'flamer,' also. funny how that works.

the other, amazing blessings...well, I'm only -now- beginning to realize how tremendously Good God is, and not just to me, either. My older, wiser Pentecostal friend, for instance...

her son is now close to her. yay! and she survived what -ordinarily would have been- a lethal fall down some basement steps...

because God is merciful. God is Love.

now, in terms of my relationship with my parents, may dad in particular...

i was all sorta ungrateful and such. i had my reasons, everyone does. they were going to ditch the 0, and i cannot say i really blame them (that's easier to say because it didn't come to pass, of course). and...

now, they're healthy and happy and doing well in all aspects of their lives (as best I can tell), and I've been made remarkably normal and...whole, albeit imperfect and such.

i dunno. did i mention that I was -never- given Rx treatment for HIV+? true story. for a while there, my parents obviously at least deeply suspected that I had picked up some nasty stuff from out in the world...

and it showed in how they acted towards me (long story). now...can't say I blame them. from 17-19, i $pent their fund$ and came home stupid, burned out, and infected with HIV+. :-(

but, 0 Rx treatment nearly 15 years after a + diagnosis, healthy and normal, and...

God is still in the (what I consider) the miracle working business, as my Pentecostal friend is quick to remind me.

So, I'm healthy and reconciled to really the only people 'round this area who ever cared for or about me, anyway...

to God be the glory and the praise.

I think it best to continue to wait my son out until he matures enough, if ever, to resume the relationship. Our youngest son won't tolerate his presence anyway.

 

[Christ_empowered]

yeah...im not one to dish out family advice, and...I don't know what, if anything, most people could glean from my story in terms of their own family relationships, except...Jesus saves. other than that...

it was all just too, too much for all 3 of us. $hrinks and their pill$ and the gay world and the druggy world and the small town politics and....

blah. :-(

but, hey...I'm getting better at the whole "put aside what is behind and press forward" thing, by God's grace. I do get picked on and all, a good bit, but...could be 100x worse. and Hell...real, true, eternal no exit Hell...

-eek- now -that's- bad news.

so, I'm thankful.