[__ Prayer __] My Grand Parents

[daninthelionsden]

It's strange how an event or a series of events can set forth a chain reaction with consequences more damaging than could've ever been foreseen. Don't know offhand when my grandparents married, but I do know they decided to have kids at the beginning years of the Great Depression. They decided to have only two kids, one boy and one girl. The only problem with that was that , though the first kid was a girl, the second kid turned out to be a girl as well. They were so set she should be born male, they even named her before her birth a male name (William Neal). They called her Billie as a child, she despised this.
She was expected to go hunting/fishing with her father as would a son. She had fond memories of this and fancied herself a tomboy even though she had absolutely no mechanical aptitude and was very dainty in her mannerism. But she wanted to be accepted for who she was(his daughter) and not as his substitute son.
This alone set up a situation where rebellion of her role in the family loomed in the future.

 

[Tessa]

I've heard of this happening to girls and boys even to the extent of putting dtessrs on boys. It is extremely damaging and they must feel very unloved, confused and angry.
Their whole life can be damaged. Was this your mother Dan.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

You know, that girl who went by a boy name - this is more common than you think it is and she's not alone.

It's rough when this type of pressure is put on a child and rather confusing to them. I had a teacher in high school and she said her parents were so focused on a boy and had the name Shawn picked out. When she was born and they realized she was a girl, they still decided to stay with the name Shawn. She said she hates it because in college on like the first day they'd call her a "he" and everything.

My husband knew a girl that was treated more so this way - boy name, expected to act like a boy because her mom and dad wanted a boy. She ended up going down the transgender route from her trauma and it's heartbreaking.

I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to a relative of yours. It's difficult and the rebellion and anger makes sense, it may not be right - but the cause is most definitely known and understood.

 

[for_his_glory]

When my cousin was young my Aunt would put dresses on him because she wanted another girl so bad. She treated him like a girl and eventually he choose a girly lifestyle and chose to be gay. His father passed away when he was very young and he would have not put up with what my Aunt did. Parents can mess their kids up and we need to be praying that somehow God would intervein in their lives. The best part is that he gave his life to the Lord and abstained, but still supported gay rights.

 

[Truthfrees]

It's strange how an event or a series of events can set forth a chain reaction with consequences more damaging than could've ever been foreseen. Don't know offhand when my grandparents married, but I do know they decided to have kids at the beginning years of the Great Depression. They decided to have only two kids, one boy and one girl. The only problem with that was that , though the first kid was a girl, the second kid turned out to be a girl as well. They were so set she should be born male, they even named her before her birth a male name (William Neal). They called her Billie as a child, she despised this.
She was expected to go hunting/fishing with her father as would a son. She had fond memories of this and fancied herself a tomboy even though she had absolutely no mechanical aptitude and was very dainty in her mannerism. But she wanted to be accepted for who she was(his daughter) and not as his substitute son.
This alone set up a situation where rebellion of her role in the family loomed in the future.

praying

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

When my cousin was young my Aunt would put dresses on him because she wanted another girl so bad. She treated him like a girl and eventually he choose a girly lifestyle and chose to be gay. His father passed away when he was very young and he would have not put up with what my Aunt did. Parents can mess their kids up and we need to be praying that somehow God would intervein in their lives. The best part is that he gave his life to the Lord and abstained, but still supported gay rights.

God bless him.

 

[daninthelionsden]

I've heard of this happening to girls and boys even to the extent of putting dtessrs on boys. It is extremely damaging and they must feel very unloved, confused and angry.
Their whole life can be damaged. Was this your mother Dan.

Yes it was. This was just the beginning of a path toward destruction.

 

[Tessa]

Peope don't realise what they are doing. She must have felt so unloved.

 

[daninthelionsden]

The older daughter was allowed a traditional female role and benefited from the best the parents could give as daughter. Billie did have a more personal relationship with her Dad the older sister did not share. Dorothy, the older, did feel sympathy for Billie and would sometimes invite her to go on daytime dates (picnics/shopping/etc). Billie liked riding in the rumble seat of Dorothy's boyfriend.
Her father worked at a factory doing labor intensive jobs. This did provide them a steady income during the Depression for some time. Weekends were a time for Billie to split time between her father/mother/sister. Though dysfunctional with underlying issues, it worked for Billie and she learned to make the best of it.
One day, her father was involved in an accident at work in which his hand and leg were crushed. He was rushed to the hospital. They were able to save his hand and leg, but due to the limits of the surgical prowess/knowledge of that time in history, he had two fingers forever frozen in the fully extended position. The same was done to that leg with the knee surgically locked into the fully extended position. He was no longer able to work at the factory. Times became very uncertain for that family. Times with Billie and her Dad suddenly came to an end.

 

[Tessa]

Every aspect of their lives must have changed suddenly and drastically.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Billie's Dad was house bound while recovering, but it wasn't the same in their relationship as before. Her father had been a Free Mason and knew other members. One such member was a wealthy Jewish man who owned an ice cream factory. He knew Billie's dad faced homelessness so he stepped in to help a fellow Mason. He set Billie's dad up with a small neighborhood grocery. Though Billie's dad found himself the new owner of a grocery store, his time was now to be spent at the store trying to make a go at a new career. He had only one employee which meant that the whole family was expected to pitch in and help whenever/where ever possible.
The family's financial situation improved, but there was little time for leisure. Billie's Dad, mom and sister seemed to always be busy at the store. Billie was expected to show up after school and help out as well. She looked for excuses not to show up so they hired a maid/nanny to look after Billie while they toiled away at the gracery.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Billie soon realized that, as the youngest child, she was able to get away with more than her older sister Dorothy. Dorothy was given more priviliges as being older and more responsible while Billie was viewed as less capable and less was demanded of her. When Billie did decide to actually show up at the store, she was given mundane tasks spending more time talking to customers and the store's single employee than actually working. Billie's Dad was so grateful to the Fellow Mason who set him up with the store, he sold only his brand of ice cream in the grocery.
Billie's parents bought her a dog to help keep her company at home as she showed up less and less at the store. Billie took her separation from the family as an opportunity to explore this new freedom from supervision. Time at home became boring and lonely so she would slip away from the maid to take her dog for long "walks".

 

[daninthelionsden]

Billie's walks took her farther and farther out into the world. She liked to explore along the large creek that ran through the middle of Waco. She started crossing that creek to explore the other side, staying out for longer periods of time. She made sure she returned home before the family got back from working at the grocery.
Billie noticed an orphanage operated by a Christian denomination. Methodist, I believe she told me. She befriended some of the kids there and eventually the Headmaster introduced himself to her. The grooming began with him coaxing her indoors and "befriending" her.
Being in her mid-teens, Billie was impressionable. The Headmaster told her of all the problems other people laid at his feet. The immense responsibility was more than he could bear alone. Thus began the brainwashing that led her to believe it was her duty to relieve this pressure by offering herself to him.

 

[daninthelionsden]

The Headmasterat the orphanage leant Billie a sympathetic ear ,learning that Billie hated her name. Breaking away from the influence of her parents, Billie chose to use her middle name ,Neal, from this point forward. She still spelled her middle name with the masculine spelling, but liked how it at least verbally sounded feminine.
Billie's parents attended the Episcopal Church in Waco. Though Billie attended church with her parents, she didn't really know any of them until Episcopal clergy visited the orphanage while Billie was present. The Headmaster took the opportunity to introduce Neal to the clergy and they reinforced in her mind what her respnsibility was to the "Men of God". Thus began Billie's subjectation to sexually service Episcopal clergy exclusively.
Eventually Neal's parents found out what was going on and, in order to keep the scandal covered up, sent Neal to stay with her god parents in Corpus Christi to finish high school. When asked why she was sent to Corpus, she would reply...."to keep me out of trouble."

 

[Tessa]

Billie had a bad start to life Dan. It must have messed her mind up so much.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Billie had a bad start to life Dan. It must have messed her mind up so much.

Yes it did. She in turn tried to hand me over to Episcopal clergy saying I should do whatever they requested just as she had done. She said she never refused any request by a "man of God" and said I shouldn't either.

 

[Tessa]

How old was you then?

 

[daninthelionsden]

How old was you then?

I was 12.

 

[Tessa]

God Bless you Dan.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Neal knew two Dorothys in her youth, one being her older sister while the other a younger girl whom tagged along with Neal (Billie) from time to time. The younger Dorothy ratted out Neal's sexual escapades to Neal's parents. Neal being sent away to Corpus seemed to be the answer to this scandal in Neal's parents eyes. But, while this new geographical location seemingly kept Neal "out of trouble" on the surface, it did not stop the Episcopal Church from locating her.
Neal was watched rather closely by her god parents. Neal played along and made the best of it by spending time at the beaches and exploring the myriad of curio shops. Every now and then she was able to slip away from the over watch of her new guardians and perform her "duties" to the church. With no little Dorothy to rat her out, Neal was free to express her feminism without fear of being found out.
When Neal graduated she was sent back home to Waco. Here she was now kept under tight scrutiny and given a firm set of expectations..........to get a job........get married.........get out.