Wife of 6 years lies...goes back to the JW Org...

[LTorres84]

So I suppose the title says it all but allow me to elaborate

9 years ago I met this wonderful woman and slowly fell in love with her. At the time I was 22 years old and wasn't following the Lord quite like I should have been, however, I was strong enough that being in a relationship with a non-Christian was a concern for me. I had asked her "Would you convert to Christianity if we stayed together? It's a bit important to me." She told me yes since she didn't really follow JW's very close at all. Well, fast forward 8 years to us being married with a house and 2 kids (ages 2 & 4 now). We had gone through some normal argument type issues and she was very hard to even converse with when doing so. Literally impossible. Brick wall type stuff lol. She comes out around Thanksgiving of last year and says she's going back to become a JW again. I was shocked to say the least but I really couldn't say anything because I hadn't made any moves as far as going to church or convincing her to convert up until that point. So partly my fault I'll admit.

In a way it's a catch 22 type situation. This new challenge has made me want to become stronger and stronger in my faith and learn and somehow, some way I want to sway her from them. I NEED to. There are so many bad things that I have read about the JW's and their belief system. Not necessarily the people themselves. I believe they have the right idea and really arent BAD people per se but she has to know what she's doing is against God's word. She has started to take my children to the Kingdom Halls with her because I work most weekends and getting a babysitter just isn't necessary. I don't want to be that father who tells my children they can't have this or that friend as they are already starting to develop such friendships. They are only toddlers so I'm sure it isn't sinking in as far as their teaching go....not yet at least.

I've started to resort to scripture and am trying to plant some key issues and conflicts that the JW's are teaching as opposed to the ACTUAL truth that the bible teaches. 1 Cor 15:12 and on explains how Jesus was ressurrected 3 days after he was Crucified and how he was raised from the dead. Peter and others witnessed Him and literally touched him. It says that 12 But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. 14 And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. 15 More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. 16 For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. 17 And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. 18 Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. 19 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

But they do not believe he rose from Flesh and Bone....so there's my starting off point I suppose lol

Can ANYONE chime in on this and give any advice on how I should go about this? I pray God to give me the knowledge and strength to somehow convince her.....

 

[Roro1972]

http://www.christianministriesintl.org/articles/Quick-Tips-Witnessing-Jehovahs-Witness.php
this may help in changing her mind about Jw. You may have another hill to climb that needs attention. best prey.
I will too.

 

[GodsGrace]

Keep in mind, as you may already know, that the organization of JW is a strong organization and it indoctrinates people, much like Scientology does. Once you're in, it's hard to get out and they even turn their members agains their own family members. It's difficult to leave them after a time because they have you in their grips. The people I know who have been able to leave were strengthened because they became believers and were set free.
You Shall Know The Truth and The Truth Shall Set You Free
John 8:32

Are they free? That's a good angle. They have to work all the time. They have to dress right, speak right, not celebrate some holidays, not have BLOOD TRANSFUSION, not seek a doctor in all cases. It's hard to get away from this stuff once you've been convinced. How about that they have to go from door to door peddling their religion? They'll tell you it's because they WANT to. Tell your wife to trying declaring that she isn't going to do this anymore.

Try to read up on the resurrection. Get a book called Who Moved The Stone by Frank Morison. As you well know, the resurrection was not spiritual but REAL. Make it real to her. A little bit at a time. Don't deluge her with information. Also, study a lot the book of John. Notice how John 1 is different in the JW bible. That's the whole key. Study a lot The Road To Emmaus - Luke 24:13-35
There's a world of help there for you.

Also, you have to REPLACE what she would leave. Look for a good, vibrant, teaching church that you could start attending. Make sure they have good felllowship - the JW's are very good at this. You go regularly. See if she'll come with you once in a while. If I remember correctly, they do say the wife should follow the lead of the husband (please check on this).

You have an uphill battle but if someone can leave scientology, the can leave the JW.

We'll be praying for you and her.

Wondering

 

[LovethroughDove]

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Make your love for her #1 and then she'll be more receptive to what you say. Even if you said nothing else about your view, if you show her only love.........she'll want to know your view!

 

[Knotical]

I think your biggest misconception regarding all this is your idea that you want to change her/her mind about Christ. That is His job. I do commend you that you have been led to be more in the word because of this and your faith will become stronger as a result. Continue to dive into the word, and pray for Him to lead her back from the false teachings of the JW's.

I do have one question; do you take your kids to a bible believing church on those weekend you do not have to work?

 

[LTorres84]

wondering I appreciate the information you have given me and will look into that book I am currently searching for a church that has excellent fellowship and deep roots and I MAY have found one but we shall see soon whether or not this church is what it seems.

lovethroughdove My love for her is definitely #1 along with my children! Well, God first, but I understand haha

Knotical I'm not necessarily trying to change her mind about Christ. I'm trying to get her to understand that while the JW organization MEANS well (and I truly think they do because not ALL of what they believe is false), there are some KEY KEY points and teachings within the organization that raise some major Red Flags.
At the moment I do not take my kidss anywhere because I myself haven't gone anywhere lol That is 100% MY fault and am going to fix IMMEDIATELY. Like I said, I haven't been strong in my faith for quite some time and this has pushed me to do so once and for all. In a good way. I hope that doesn't sound like an OBLIGATION....if that 's the right word

The good thing is, is that she is open minded out the issues I have and is willing to sit with me and go over any questions that I present. After my post last night, I spoke with her about what SHE believes about the Ressurrection and oddly enough she said, in her own words, that he raised himself from the grave after 3 days and presented himself (Jesus) to his people for a period of time THEN ascended to Heaven. And I asked her "In what form to do believe Jesus was raised as?" because I also read that they believe he was raised as a "spirit creature" or something to that extent and not flesh and bone. She told me she honestly didn't know all that much about the details and she would look further into it.

We are both open minded and self-controlled during these conversations lol Things can get a bit....tense...so it's good that we both have a respect, love, and understanding of each others beliefs and are willing to look into each others' concerns

 

[Mike]

At the time I was 22 years old and wasn't following the Lord quite like I should have been, however, I was strong enough that being in a relationship with a non-Christian was a concern for me. I had asked her "Would you convert to Christianity if we stayed together? It's a bit important to me." She told me yes since she didn't really follow JW's very close at all.

This was a pivotal time for you and her. Scripture tells us not to be yoked with unbelievers. I understand that she told you she would convert, but her reasoning is what gives me pause. She said she really didn't follow the JW's very closely. I always counsel people (when I'm asked) not to dismiss different faiths on the basis that they aren't important to them at the time, because... What if they become important later? You eventually married her, but I only make this point here for the benefit of others who might be reading this at a time when they are considering this decision.

It sounds like you're implying that your marriage was falling on hard times leading up to her return to the JW's. Although you described it as normal stuff, you did go on to amp it up a bit by describing a brick wall in your communication. This makes me wonder if her return to them was in part her run to a place of refuge.

Does she have family there? I wonder if close friends or family were urging her back. It seems to me you need to demonstrate Christian love to her, and serve her with the hope that she will be drawn back to the Christian faith, but there might be marital problems that need to be resolved at the same time. Repair your home, so she doesn't feel the need for refuge, IF that was the cause. Do you think you're both committed to your marriage? I'd always advise a Christian counsellor, but I'm not sure she'd agree to that.

It sounds like your marriage needs restoration, and that can truly only come from the Lord. But you both may need help in settling your differences before she'll trust in our God to open her heart to Him.

 

[Not_Now.Soon]

It's good that your talking to eachother, and the brick wall doesn't sound like it's up while your discussing faith matters. If you can, ask her why she wants to (or has started to) return to the JW community. It could be like Mike has said, it's a place of refuge and there are rocky fights going on. It could be something clicked for her in her commitment, and like you said there's no other church you've found yet. Or it could be that she's starting to reexamine the JW beliefs, or possibly anything else. If you can, ask her why. See what she says.

Be loving and supportive and aware what ever her answer is it's likely going to hurt on some level. Either because she's returning to the JW faith and that's scary, or on a more direct level with you because of issues between you two, or other life issues, and she needs her place of refuge.

Good luck. And sorry to hear about the difficult sitution.

 

[LTorres84]

It sounds like you're implying that your marriage was falling on hard times leading up to her return to the JW's. Although you described it as normal stuff, you did go on to amp it up a bit by describing a brick wall in your communication. This makes me wonder if her return to them was in part her run to a place of refuge.

Does she have family there? I wonder if close friends or family were urging her back..

Indeed our marriage WAS falling on some difficult times. She was almost impossible to talk to whenever we had an argument and I would basically shut down after attempting to reason. So yes, I do believe going back was a place for refuge BUT if I'm being 100% honest it turned our marriage around 10 fold. She became the person she was before we got married. Kind heart, loving, flexible, etc. She basically submitted to me and started to respect me again. I didn't take advantage of the submissive part because the bible tells us to love your wife as you would love yourself, but it made me feel like a man again so in turn I became more loving and understanding as well. The fights basically turned into small squabbles that we would eventually just laugh at and move on.
It's difficult because she has changed for the better BUT not through the outlet that I wish she would have lol
The only family that goes to the Meetings is her mom but she lives in another city. She has a couple long time friends that go also.
Honestly, our marriage was restored once she started going again. I fear that someday, somehow she is going to turn against me though. It's something I pray to God for support and to try to ease my mind

 

[LTorres84]

Be loving and supportive and aware what ever her answer is it's likely going to hurt on some level. Either because she's returning to the JW faith and that's scary, or on a more direct level with you because of issues between you two, or other life issues, and she needs her place of refuge.

Good luck. And sorry to hear about the difficult sitution.

Having love and support is the only thing I intend to do during this difficult time. It's hard, but my family means everything to me and I would stop at nothing to keep us from falling apart which is why I joined this forum to learn and to find ways to try and show her the truth

It's a bit stressful at times, but through prayer I manage to remove the stress when it comes

 

[LovethroughDove]

Having love and support is the only thing I intend to do during this difficult time. It's hard, but my family means everything to me and I would stop at nothing to keep us from falling apart which is why I joined this forum to learn and to find ways to try and show her the truth

It's a bit stressful at times, but through prayer I manage to remove the stress when it comes

This is amazing. Don't get too down on yourself if you drop the ball sometimes. Remember, Love never fails.