How to trust God has your best interests and not lose faith?

SJFaith said:

Hi everyone,

I've always considered myself a Christian, but for a long time, I didn't truly practice my faith. I rarely read the Bible, only prayed when I needed something, and seldom attended church.


About two years ago, I realized that if I wanted to call myself a Christian, I needed to live according to Christian principles. I began to take my faith more seriously.

However, lately, I've been struggling with my belief in God's existence and I'm considering giving up my faith. Here's why.

Since I was a teenager, the one thing I've always wanted was to be married and have a family. My dream was to find a financially stable partner so I could be a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, my relationships have always been with extremely mentally annd emotionally abusive men even though I’ve prayed and prayed for a good man to settle with. My last one was the worst and I can’t understand why God keeps putting these men in my life. They end up absolutely destroying me and I am NEVER enough for them. The man I was seeing last turned out to have a girlfriend, and he was also seeing an engaged woman and several others. He lied about absolutely everything and just played me. I turned to the Lord, praying for this man to be healed from whatever causes him to behave this way despite how hurt I am because I’ve been trying to love those who even hurt me, and I've been trying to heal myself from all of it.

I have since come to terms that perhaps marriage and children are not in Gods plan for me. I’ve continuously told myself to trust Gods plan and there’s a reason for all of this. I remain grateful for all that I do have and remind myself that God knows what I need most.

What I can't, however, understand is why, despite crying out to God about how hurt I am, despite the hours I’ve sat down and broken down telling him how much this hurt me, and how I’ve asked for just an apology or anything to help me through this, I keep bumping into this man everywhere I go. Even when I travel 30 km away from where I live, I see him. Each time, he's with another woman, each one more beautiful than the last. He seems so happy and is living his best life, while I'm still hurting from what he did. It feels like God is punishing me, and I don't understand why. Why does someone who has been so cruel and hurt so many people continue to find happiness and new relationships, while I'm still suffering? Why does God keep putting him in my path and showing me how well he's doing?

How do I not turn my back on God when it's so hard to believe that a loving God would put me through this? Why would a loving God continue to bless a man who hurt me and other women with more beautiful women (women I could only dream of looking like) while I keep hurting and keep seeing how well he does?!

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Couple things to consider.

Reading through your post it seems that in your mind, your relationship with our Lord is dependent upon what He can do for you. You have prayed for a loving relationship with a man and because your prayer has not yet been answered, you are thinking of giving up on God. You want an apology from someone and because you have not received that, again you are ready to give up on God. You see others that appear to be getting happiness and relationships and because you are struggling in this area, you once again want to blame God and give up on Him.

What makes you think God is behind your struggles? We live in a broken world and sin is all around. Satan is the ruler of this world and he will do everything in his power to turn you against God. The more you turn to God, the more he will resist and put stumbling blocks before you.

Jesus said that God makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. (Matthew 5:45)

Consider that God promised Abram, later renamed Abraham, that he will have offspring as many as the stars. (Genesis 15:5) Then when Abram at 100 years old and his wife, Sarai, later renamed Sarah, who was 90 years old gave birth to a son and so was the beginning of the line of Abraham. (Genesis 17:1-21) God can do things we can't even imagine possible.

We chase after and worry about the things of this world but Jesus says to seek first the Kingdom of God. (Matthew 6:33) Stop worrying about so many things and concentrate on serving our Lord, Jesus. Everything else is a distraction.

I would even recommend reading through, slowly, Jesus' sermon on the mount found in Matthew chapters 5-7. There is much, much wisdom in those three chapters.

Hello SJFaith, first off (since I see that you are a new member), welcome to CF

As far as the problem that you're having (both with finding the right man, and with God), my first question is, where are you looking to find these men (the ones that are abusing you mentally and emotionally, that is)? If it's not at church, and I certainly hope that it's not, maybe you should begin looking for someone to date and then hopefully/eventually marry in your church, alone (instead of wherever it is that you have been looking/finding the ones that you've been dating so far).

I believe that the Lord (through the pen of the Apostle Paul) strongly admonishes us to date & marry others who are believers themselves, and that for a number of very important reasons .. cf 2 Corinthians 6:14-18.

As far as God giving you the desires of your heart, while the Bible tells us that it is His desire that we have the things that we want, this is only true when the things that we desire can be found within the confines of His will for us. The following verse (one of my very favorites in the Bible, actually ) tells us all about this.

This verse is a wonderful command with a wonderful promise from God attached to it (assuming that we rightly understand and obey the command half, our half of the verse, that is, the key to which is found in ALWAYS chasing after God/the things of God, NEVER after the things that we want Him to give us). This means that we truly have to put Him first by making Him the very center of our lives and everything that is in them (see too Matthew 6:33).

The other thought(s) that you will need to shy away from in this is the idea of 'delighting/pleasing Him' in exchange for Him giving you want you want (instead of simply 'delighting ~yourself~ in Him', as v4 tells us to do). If you did the former (tried to delight/please Him, that is), you would actually be establishing a kind of quid pro quo with God, and while that may be a useful type of business relationship, at times, it's hardly the kind of relationship that He knows that we need to have with Him, one that is based on love, specifically). A quid pro quo (if God allowed you to have such a thing with Him) would turn God into something that He is not/will never be, a Cosmic Sugar-Daddy

Finally, as I'm sure you know, becoming a Christian and then growing up in Christlikeness both require that we believe and trust Him with our lives, and that we surrender our lives to Him (knowing/trusting that He knows what is best for us, far more than we could ever hope to ourselves, and that He will see that we get it, what is best for us, IOW, because He, our heavenly Abba/Father, loves us so ). This means that we also need to surrender everything to Him, including the things that we desire (or at least think that we desire) most in this life, trusting that He always knows and wants ~that~ which is best for us to have, AND also, ~when~ it is best for us to have it (our "timing" can be anything but perfect, but His timing always is :amen).

I'll stop here. Questions/Comments about any of this? Please don't hesitate to ask them/make them

God bless you!! (Numbers 6:24-26; Isaiah 55:8-9)

--David

As has been said, we don't serve God for what we get out of it, and raise your standards of what you expect in a man.
Ask how is he serving God, in his church, in his life?
What are his expectations in his wife and do you meet them?

SJFaith said:

Hi everyone,

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Hello, welcome to CF.net!

SJFaith said:

I've always considered myself a Christian, but for a long time, I didn't truly practice my faith.

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Well, what matters isn't what you considered yourself to be but what God considers you to be. Do you think He considered you His child when "you didn't truly practice your faith" but were, it seems, a "Christian" in name only?

SJFaith said:

About two years ago, I realized that if I wanted to call myself a Christian, I needed to live according to Christian principles. I began to take my faith more seriously.

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Being a Christian isn't merely assuming a religious label; it's entering into relationship with God through the Savior - your Savior, if you'll trust that he is - Jesus Christ.

Romans 10:9-10
9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

1 John 5:11-12
11 And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.
12 Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.

Romans 5:8-11
8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.
10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 5:20-21
20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

There is more, though, beyond simply becoming related to God as His adopted child; there is actual, concrete daily experience of God that deepens over time into rich, peace-filled, joyful fellowship with Him. This fellowship is the "beating heart" of Christian living. Is this what you want in being a Christian?

Revelation 3:20
20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and sup with him, and he with me.

2 Corinthians 13:14
14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

1 John 1:3
3 ... our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.

SJFaith said:

However, lately, I've been struggling with my belief in God's existence and I'm considering giving up my faith.

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This is always the result of taking on a religious label instead of walking in fellowship with God, as He intends all of His true children to do.

SJFaith said:

Since I was a teenager, the one thing I've always wanted was to be married and have a family. My dream was to find a financially stable partner so I could be a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, my relationships have always been with extremely mentally annd emotionally abusive men even though I’ve prayed and prayed for a good man to settle with. My last one was the worst and I can’t understand why God keeps putting these men in my life.

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He doesn't. Your choice of men is entirely your own, I'm afraid. God has had nothing to do with the bad men with whom you've involved yourself. You see, so long as you live apart from Him, according to your own will and way rather than His, you are His enemy, a rebel toward Him, and so, cut off from Him until you take the steps He's prescribed to be properly reconciled to Himself. God will only be who He is in your life and mine, which means He's, well, GOD; that is, He's the Boss, He's Lord, God and King of our lives; He will be nothing less in the lives of His children. If a person will not have Him so in their life this is what He says to them in His word, the Bible:

Psalm 66:18
18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

Isaiah 59:2
2 but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.

1 Peter 3:12
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Continued below.

If we want God's ear, if we want to actually be His child and have Him listen to us, there are three things we always HAVE to do to be properly reconciled to Him:

1.) Repent.

James 4:6-10
6 ... “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Repentance isn't just feeling remorseful about having rebelled against God and sinned. It is changing your mind about what you think, what you believe, casting out the lies that have kept you from God and moved you into sin and embracing His life-giving truth, instead.

2.) Confess.

1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

To confess your sin is to simply admit to God, to agree with Him, that your sin is the awful, wicked stuff that He says it is.

3.) Submit.

Romans 6:12-13
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.

Romans 12:1
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
1 Peter 5:5-6
5 ...“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

There's no way to walk with God except as an inferior to a Superior, as lesser to Greater, and this means, among other things, that you HAVE to be His dependent, humble, submitted child, not God's near-equal, not steering your own course through life, but placing yourself under His mighty hand throughout every day, constantly giving control of yourself to the Holy Spirit.

SJFaith said:

I turned to the Lord, praying for this man to be healed from whatever causes him to behave this way despite how hurt I am because I’ve been trying to love those who even hurt me, and I've been trying to heal myself from all of it.

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Why would you pray to the Lord from a life lived essentially in rebellion to Him? He's not merely an Assistant to the life you're living but will only be the Master of your life, the One around whom you constantly revolve. So long as you live as you presently are, the damage God promises comes from all sin, in one way or another, will continue to plague your life. The best life you can live is the life for which He made you which is a life entirely centered upon, and yielded to, His will and way. He's got nothing of Himself to give to you outside of this kind of living, except His opposition.

SJFaith said:

I have since come to terms that perhaps marriage and children are not in Gods plan for me. I’ve continuously told myself to trust Gods plan and there’s a reason for all of this. I remain grateful for all that I do have and remind myself that God knows what I need most.

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Sorry to be blunt, but, if this is so, if you've been trusting God's plan, why have you been choosing relationships with men who are clearly foul and God-haters? Do you really think God would lead you to such men? He absolutely would not. He desires to protect and bless you, not bring you into the corruption and death of relationships with evil men.

SJFaith said:

What I can't, however, understand is why, despite crying out to God about how hurt I am, despite the hours I’ve sat down and broken down telling him how much this hurt me, and how I’ve asked for just an apology or anything to help me through this, I keep bumping into this man everywhere I go. Even when I travel 30 km away from where I live, I see him. Each time, he's with another woman, each one more beautiful than the last. He seems so happy and is living his best life, while I'm still hurting from what he did.

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Oh, dear... This is always the awful price we pay, sooner or later, when we aren't living in constant submission to the will and way of God, when we aren't careful to be giving control of ourselves to the Holy Spirit throughout each day. When we're at the helm of the ship of our lives, steering our own course, we will always find ourselves eventually crashing upon the rocks of sin, pain and death.

James 1:13-15
13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Romans 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

God never wants to see us making choices independent of His will and way, of His control, because He knows such choices will always lead us away from Him into destruction. And so, at any time we want to look up from the misery of our rebellion and sin and in humble repentance say, "I will go to my Father," we will find Him eager to receive us and to celebrate our return, clothing us in new robes and communing with us as His child. (Luke 15:11-32)

SJFaith said:

Why does God keep putting him in my path and showing me how well he's doing?

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Why do you assume it's God who is doing this?

SJFaith said:

How do I not turn my back on God when it's so hard to believe that a loving God would put me through this?

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But He's not "putting you through this," YOU are. You can't blame God for choices you've made and their bitter consequences. Hopefully, the bitterness of these consequences will move you into new, properly God-centered living. He would keep you from such hurt and unhappiness, if you'd let Him be in charge of your life all of the time.

SJFaith said:

Why would a loving God continue to bless a man who hurt me and other women with more beautiful women (women I could only dream of looking like) while I keep hurting and keep seeing how well he does?!

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We were made, not for time, but for eternity. The eye-blink of time we spend on this globe is not the Big Show, it's not the Main Event of our lives. Far, far from it. There is a forever to come and it is this forever for which God has made us. And so, He is acting in our lives in the present with a view to preparing us for eternity with Himself. When you've lived ten thousand years in the glorious presence of your Maker, the few scant years of time you spent on earth will be in its proper perspective and you will fully understand just how brief, and in many ways exceedingly trivial, that time of waiting and preparing actually was.

Colossians 3:2-4
2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Philippians 3:20-21
20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,
21 who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

Revelation 22:12-17
12 “Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done.
13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”
14 Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates.
15 Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.
16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star.”
17 The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.

No one "gets away with it." The "blip" of time during which your ex-boyfriend enjoys his sin will be as nothing next to the eternity of darkness and horror he will spend in hell if he does not repent of his rebellion and sin and trust in Christ as his Savior and Lord. In light of this, it ought to be terrible sadness that fills your heart when you encounter your ex. His present, selfish, sinful course has not only taken him away from you, but is moving him away from God and headlong into eternal damnation where there is only darkness, isolation and "wailing and gnashing of teeth" forever.

Hi SJFaith

It's not God that is putting this man in your path, but I believe it is Satan using this man to bring you down to nothingness weakening your faith and trust in God.

I was in the same way after two failed marriages where my husbands were abusive and also playing around with other women. I prayed and cried and cried and prayed, but never seemed to get any answers for years. My problem was that I wanted it all my way, neglecting what God wanting better for me.

Like you, I just wanted to be married and have children, but the children part never came, which I am glad now as it would have been hard to put children through all of that.

I walked away from God for a time and the hurt and anger I had in my heart just kept increasing up to the point I was getting suicidal as no matter how much I cried out to God, I got nothing back, until I got so fed up that in desperation I literally hit the dirt and cried out to God and laid everything before Him as I finally surrendered all of myself to Him and there is where He finally met me.

I started attending church again getting my life on the right path again and in a couple months God put the right man in my life and we married. That was 26 years ago, but for some reason God never blest us with children.

We are a people that wants it now, but never wait on God's perfect timing.

SJFaith said:

Hi everyone,
How do I not turn my back on God when it's so hard to believe that a loving God would put me through this?

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Hello SJFaith.
Look at the cross our Lord suffered on. He showed us how deep our Heavenly Fathers' love is for us by continuing to love and forgive ungodly people who stripped Him naked and tore the flesh off His back with a Roman whip. The Bible says,

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. Heb.12:4 NIV

This means we struggle to love people who hate us. They may hate us so much they kill us. That's what happened to the Messiah.

I need to be honest with you. It sounds like you always had it in the back of your mind, "God, give this to me or else". He doesn't need you. You need him. That is the harsh truth. But, it really isn't harsh if you are open to the truth of life.

Let me first put aside god-type talk: there is no loving god, or any other kind, though unfortunately such talk is common in Christian circles. God is God, and God is love.

You make some assumptions which I would not. One, is that he is punishing you. Lot’s of bad things happen to bad and to good people, in which nature, not God, is simply at work. But if I shove my hand through glass, or trust a con artist, I’d not assume the pain to be God’s punishment. Is he putting you through such? Probably not, but that’s life—it can suck, and we can in measure be to blame, making our bed and having to lie in it: many others can damage that bed. Does he keep putting certain types of guys into your life? Probably not. Is it more that you are on the look and perhaps too eager to take a chance? Does God have a plan for your life? A general plan, Yes, or at least a general wish, that all be transformed increasingly into the spiritual likeness of his son whom he gave for you. And it’s his wish for our benefit—we can’t benefit him in any way, shape, or form. He is love, gift-love, not need-love. Becoming like Christ is a shaping we take responsibility for, but much of our shaping will come as we interact with nature and circumstances, and life can misshape us. We should pray, yes, but that’s no magic way to gain our aims. It’s asking the father to consider our requests, and sometimes he can, and will, intervene: look at him as being a semi-interventionalist. I doubt that God has any general plans about whether his Christian children marry or don’t, have children or don’t, eat meat or don’t.

As to this guy who “seems so happy and is living his best life”, I’d doubt whether he’s living his best life. If a man becomes a happy swine, he is living a pig’s life, not a human’s best life. Whoever wrote Ps.73 had the same lament as you on this: why be good when the good get it bad and the bad get it good? Yeah, but happy pigs aren’t happy humans, and in killing their consciences they’re killing their souls, their likeness of God. He merits our pity. Better to die as a man than live as a pig.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. (Jn 10:11)

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. (Holy church & baptism)

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. (Narrow road)

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
(The cross and intercession of Mary)

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. ( mass, and the sacraments of abundant life and grace)

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. (Eternal salvation)

SJFaith said:

Hi everyone,

I've always considered myself a Christian, but for a long time, I didn't truly practice my faith. I rarely read the Bible, only prayed when I needed something, and seldom attended church.


About two years ago, I realized that if I wanted to call myself a Christian, I needed to live according to Christian principles. I began to take my faith more seriously.

However, lately, I've been struggling with my belief in God's existence and I'm considering giving up my faith. Here's why.

Since I was a teenager, the one thing I've always wanted was to be married and have a family. My dream was to find a financially stable partner so I could be a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, my relationships have always been with extremely mentally annd emotionally abusive men even though I’ve prayed and prayed for a good man to settle with. My last one was the worst and I can’t understand why God keeps putting these men in my life. They end up absolutely destroying me and I am NEVER enough for them. The man I was seeing last turned out to have a girlfriend, and he was also seeing an engaged woman and several others. He lied about absolutely everything and just played me. I turned to the Lord, praying for this man to be healed from whatever causes him to behave this way despite how hurt I am because I’ve been trying to love those who even hurt me, and I've been trying to heal myself from all of it.

I have since come to terms that perhaps marriage and children are not in Gods plan for me. I’ve continuously told myself to trust Gods plan and there’s a reason for all of this. I remain grateful for all that I do have and remind myself that God knows what I need most.

What I can't, however, understand is why, despite crying out to God about how hurt I am, despite the hours I’ve sat down and broken down telling him how much this hurt me, and how I’ve asked for just an apology or anything to help me through this, I keep bumping into this man everywhere I go. Even when I travel 30 km away from where I live, I see him. Each time, he's with another woman, each one more beautiful than the last. He seems so happy and is living his best life, while I'm still hurting from what he did. It feels like God is punishing me, and I don't understand why. Why does someone who has been so cruel and hurt so many people continue to find happiness and new relationships, while I'm still suffering? Why does God keep putting him in my path and showing me how well he's doing?

How do I not turn my back on God when it's so hard to believe that a loving God would put me through this? Why would a loving God continue to bless a man who hurt me and other women with more beautiful women (women I could only dream of looking like) while I keep hurting and keep seeing how well he does?!

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Welcome. OK here goes. First, God hears every prayer. His Reply will be: Yes, No or Wait (aka be patient).
Second, Christ tells us there will be tribulation (problems) in our lives and that what is important is how we work through problems (with God's Guidance).
Third, and this is an important one for me (took me awhile to learn it), I (and you) are only accountable for how we conduct ourselves. Those who torment us will also be held accountable for what they do. This knowledge gives me peace in knowing that God is Just and He can be trusted because God keeps ALL His promises to us as His children.
Fourth, and as others have mentioned the evil one (I never use its name because that would acknowledge it) always puts roadblocks in our way, so it's not God Who is punishing you it's the evil one turning you from the God Who loves you and always will.
Fifth, people I have been in contact with have the same "complaint" about God that He doesn't provide what we think we want. I have learned that God provides us what we Need. Big difference.

Paul was in prison for sticking to his faith, persecuted, close to death more than once, lived in poverty, had some kind of illness God gave him (I believe) to remind him of his humanity and that God is greater than that.

Lastly, no matter happens in your life I invite to remember this: Phillippians 4:13 "I can do all things, through Christ, Who strengthens me. Trust me on this, you will endure to the end no matter what when you trust God in all situations (good, bad or indifferent). Why? He provides what you need, is there always (even if you think He isn't), He won't give you things you don't need (He knows the difference so you don't have to worry about that). Because like a loving parent who teaches a child the importance of looking both ways (even though the child wants to run across the street and whines about how mean you are) God does those things to keep us safe all through our journey through this (and this is important) temporary life.

Also, please know this. I have learned that God can be trusted. Humans can't be.

Father, I have a sense that SJ truly seeks to follow You more closely so I ask You to be with her and guide her closer to you every day moving forward to show her that You are not only the God of the Bible, but the God of Your children in this life today. And I pray this in Jesus' Name. Amen.

We are called to suffering for the sake of Christ. Phil 1:29

Others have basically said it. God is preparing us for eternity. Here in the now, is a kind of reformed school (or school of hard knocks) for Him to mold and shape us. I have a problem with most evangelism in telling people "come to God and all your problems will go away." It will probably be just the opposite.

Job 23:10 But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.

1Pe 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1Pe 1:4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,
1Pe 1:5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. (not in the here and know)
1Pe 1:6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials,
1Pe 1:7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ. . .

"No one is exempt from trials and tribulations. In fact, this is often what happens to people God loves very much, for it is part of God’s often mysterious and good plan for turning us into something great." ~ Timothy Keller

"It costs something to be a real Christian, according to the standard of the Bible. There are enemies to be overcome, battles to be fought, sacrifices to be made, an Egypt to be forsaken, a wilderness to be passed through, a cross to be carried, a race to be run. Conversion is not putting a person in an arm-chair and taking them easily to heaven. It is the beginning of a mighty conflict, in which it costs much to win the victory." ~ J. C. Ryle

Joh_16:33 . . . be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

Hello

Not knowing you personally or anything about your life makes it very difficult to give you specific advice, but I will share my thoughts based solely on what I’ve read in your text.

Imagine someone driving a car, reaching a curve, and instead of turning, they start praying for God to turn the steering wheel for them. Do you think God would respond to that? I don’t think so.

You have everything you need to turn the page; God has given you everything to move on, but there is one thing missing: you must make the decision to turn the page, value yourself, and understand that treating everyone as we would like to be treated goes both ways. Do not allow yourself to tolerate something you would not accept from others; that’s wrong too.

It’s evident that this person is not right for you; he probably doesn’t deserve you. You only see the surface of the situation, seeing a beautiful woman and thinking he has it all. But that is FALSE, completely untrue. I have been on both sides of the story you’re telling me, and I can assure you that NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS.

You don’t understand what’s happening because you are being misled by appearances. God keeps putting it in front of you to give you the chance to understand that appearances mean NOTHING, it’s what’s inside that counts. Do you really want to be with someone who has hurt you?

Perhaps you should pay attention to those who haven’t hurt you. If the same problems keep occurring, it might be because you’re not attentive to the people who are good for you.

What are you doing wasting time with that person? You are worth more than that!!

I hope this helps

I can say with absolute certainty that there is a God. The is a reason God has allowed all that has transpired on this earth; the understanding of that will come soon.

As for the man who hurt you; he may seem to have a "good life" now, but Judgement comes for us all; and God knows that mans heart and will Judge him accordingly, of that you can be certain.

answersingenesis.org
carm.org
crev.info
Read much material from these sites.

Examine the man's worldview and what he belives about Jesus. Ask him on kind-to-kind evolution, big bang, and deeptime.

None of these men sound like they are PRACTICING Christians .
You are hungry for making a family with a loving spiritually mature husband.
Find a church that is spirit-filled with loving kind brothers and sisters and a church you know is one God wants to to grow spiritually in. That’s where a spiritually mature man for you will be.
Also there are Christian forums for singles to meet.
Keep looking for a mate but with SPIRITUAL maturity as your focus.
That’s how I finally found my husband.
Cate

SJFaith

He might be doing well with fleshly things, but in the long run will he hear those words, "well done thou faithful servant" that you want to hear.

Trust me that he is not being blessed by God as he follows a worldly path of his own destruction.

I've been where you are with my first two marriages and it hurts and it is hard to overcome the hurt, but it was only through Christ Jesus who showed me the greatest love I will ever know as He healed my broken heart helping me to move on and past all that garbage that was weighting me down and driving me away from God.

I wasn't planning on getting married a third time, but I learnt never say never as God always has better for us when we trust in Him. I had to get to the place where I hit rock bottom, where I think you are at, and could only look up and cry my heart out to God and when I could not cry any longer and had nothing more to pour out at His feet I laid there in silence. When I was quiet that is when God spoke to my heart as I saw the greatest light engulfing me and His loving arms wrapped around me in the greatest love I never knew existed. From that point forward I let go of all the pain and hurt I felt for so many years and surrendered all and submitted myself completely to God. He created in me a new heart and a new Spiritual life dedicated to Him.

BTW, I did get married again to who I now call my gift from God even though I wasn't looking. We met in church and knowing we were equally yoke after getting to know each other, we both prayed separately and asked God if this union was right and we received His blessing. It's not always a perfect marriage at times, but we put God in the center of all things and always work out any problem that might arise.

Will keep you in my prayers.