[__ Prayer __] “He needs to move!”

[Christ_empowered]

Ugh
I’m just…frustrated. Some people in my area obviously hate me. Cops were picking at me in random convenience stores around the small city I live in. Now and then cops follow me. I drive a newer car not fancy but fun. And…

Yeah yesterday a sheriff deputy car followed me. I had to get into a left turn lane to get to my complex…it’s 20 something apartment buildings all in one community…


And he or she followed me into the turn lane. I thought oh man I’m getting some kind of ticket . Nope.

As I turned into my complex no cop car behind me.

It isn’t that my life now is rough or even difficult…far from it. My only problem is these creepy things keep happening.


I got some new clothes. Then I got an email about an online account with a mid level department store. Haven’t used the account in at least a year. Locked! Too many failed log in attempts…

I was once in a neighboring state on my way to vacation. I was with my parents. A cop car was nearby at a chain restaurant. One of the cops pointed at me and said he’s a convicted felon. But…

The only thing on my record is a misdemeanor. I mean it’s a class a misdemeanor and I had to do probation etc…and it started as a felony before the plea deal…

But yeah file under creepy incidents that happen periodically.

I’m getting better at leaning into Christ to bear up under it. Scripture says nothing has happened to me that isn’t common to mankind so…

Yup I think a lot of my problem is not knowing what the deal is? No arrests in over 10 years now no drugs in 15 years no hospitalizations in over 15 years…

Maybe im just sheltered and or still naive for thinking that I could eventually settle in build a new life for myself within the limits of…everything…?

Ugh thanks

 

[Christ_empowered]

Taunting continues. Some dude was talking about my hiv status as I walked into my apartment. Fun

I tested positive over 19 years ago. I’d probably been positive a couple of years already. At 40, that means I’ve been positive for over 20 years without standard medical treatment. I praise God for His Love and Mercy…

I’m healthy now. I mean…I only get basic medical care, so all the standard blood tests are good…

I don’t know if I should pursue treatment now that I have coverage? Especially since I’m healthy…

But yeah…

God is Love. People are often cruel and mean sometimes wicked.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Ugh more taunting etc at 2…3…4…5 am. I don’t live in a fancy area but it’s nice and modest and pleasant and…

Ugh real world ? I’m better off here than anywhere else. My parents are nearby and they thankfully own it. I can nap later or hopefully sleep in tomorrow or..,

On and on and on. I’m hoping for an end to the junk, but it’s starting to seem like I may have to both learn to deal with it and figure out what if any options I have to get people to back off…

 

[Christ_empowered]

Side note: pride. Self love. Rebellion. These are still big big faults for me. I’m praying about it and thankfully God has revealed some things to me.

Not to get emo lol but…

I’m in this bizarro situation in which all this stuff from back then…some of it 20 plus years ago…

Is being thrown at me. A lot of Freudian psychobabble etc plus…wow. I was in fact a sinner in need of Jesus Christ.

My sins were against God. I came to my senses over 12 years ago and I have been transformed. He has even seen fit to make me healthy and of sound mind….

Because He is Love not because I suffered more than anyone else or because He is as somehow obligated or because I was or am special and…

Ugh that’s for me lol. I get all this junk thrown at me and my mind moves back and inwards and…

Praying for forgiveness. Thank you all for your patience and prayers.

 

[NoahK]

Side note: pride. Self love. Rebellion. These are still big big faults for me. I’m praying about it and thankfully God has revealed some things to me.

Not to get emo lol but…

I’m in this bizarro situation in which all this stuff from back then…some of it 20 plus years ago…

Is being thrown at me. A lot of Freudian psychobabble etc plus…wow. I was in fact a sinner in need of Jesus Christ.

My sins were against God. I came to my senses over 12 years ago and I have been transformed. He has even seen fit to make me healthy and of sound mind….

Because He is Love not because I suffered more than anyone else or because He is as somehow obligated or because I was or am special and…

Ugh that’s for me lol. I get all this junk thrown at me and my mind moves back and inwards and…

Praying for forgiveness. Thank you all for your patience and prayers.

This is what you tell people who hassle you about the past.

My sins were against God. I came to my senses over 12 years ago and I have been transformed. He has even seen fit to make me healthy and of sound mind….

Because He is Love not because I suffered more than anyone else or because He is as somehow obligated or because I was or am special and

I figure if you say that, you will have silence moving forward. If they won't let you let go of the past. Then do it anyway