Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,235
- 10,720
I was a rebel without a clue in my teen years. not that I didn't have my reasons, but...wow. wow. things (predictably) went downhill once drugs and then shrinks got involved, and...and....
OK, so I'm 36, have Schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective is basically Schizophrenia, with less psychosis, more mood. The reason its even in the DSM and ICD as a diagnosis is primarily because, for whatever reason(s), people who fall into the "Schizoaffetive" category have a better long term outlook than those who fall into the "Schizophrenia" category. Generally, there's a lower need for hospitalization, more likely to be able to make a go of things in the community...
which is -really good news- for me, because...wow, the state hospital was never exactly my idea of a fun long term stay-cation, anyway, and now its been shredded down to near nothing, a lot of has already been sold off to a big time real estate developer. true story. rambling...
my parents are -genuinely- good to me. I think its easier for mama than for dad, because...well, my dad and I had a tense, difficult relationship when I was growing up. Looking back, I think he perceived me as "rebellious," when really...I didn't understand the world around me. weird. -wires crossed- moving on...
they're -wonderful- people. I don't know the state of their salvation. they know -all about- Scripture, theology (both raised Calvinist), so I'm not preaching to them or anything, but...they do know that I believe, and they both seem to respect my faith. I'll be honest; I sometimes worry/wonder that they think I believe -because- I deal with 'severe mental illness,' and maybe they view my faith in Christ as a 'coping mechanism,' or...something. I dunno. I'm not trying to over-analyze, it just pops in my mind, now and then. moving on...
my dad worked from the age of 14, onwards. he came from a close knit family, close knit extended family, a subculture of 2nd and 3rd generation offspring of immigrants, bound by church and school and a lot of inter-marriage, and...and...
yeah, I've never really been able to work. doesn't help that I had problems from a young age, and instead of helping, the 'professionals' ripped me to shreds. true story. not that I'm 110% "victim" -- I wasn't sinless or blameless, more clueless than anything else-- I just mention it because psych 'treatment' can be helpful (I take my 'atypical antipsychotic' daily, for instance), but it can also be destructive, even deadly. -buyer beware-
today was a good day. another dinner at the parents' place. tomorrow, dad's going into the office, mama and I are having an outing. easy, breezy. no drama, no more trauma, no more emo psychobabble jibber jabber, just...
-sigh- at long last, I think I can build a life, hopefully a normal(ish) one, from -here- , here being a very good, safe, calm, peaceful "Point A," basically. and...what is "Point B" ? No clue, honestly. I'm praying for His -perfect will- for me, so...
-shrug- I am thankful for His Goodness, which is why this is a Praise Report.
parents are together, healthy, doing well...kind to me, I'm healthy, doing better, kind to them...
God is Good.
OK, so I'm 36, have Schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective is basically Schizophrenia, with less psychosis, more mood. The reason its even in the DSM and ICD as a diagnosis is primarily because, for whatever reason(s), people who fall into the "Schizoaffetive" category have a better long term outlook than those who fall into the "Schizophrenia" category. Generally, there's a lower need for hospitalization, more likely to be able to make a go of things in the community...
which is -really good news- for me, because...wow, the state hospital was never exactly my idea of a fun long term stay-cation, anyway, and now its been shredded down to near nothing, a lot of has already been sold off to a big time real estate developer. true story. rambling...
my parents are -genuinely- good to me. I think its easier for mama than for dad, because...well, my dad and I had a tense, difficult relationship when I was growing up. Looking back, I think he perceived me as "rebellious," when really...I didn't understand the world around me. weird. -wires crossed- moving on...
they're -wonderful- people. I don't know the state of their salvation. they know -all about- Scripture, theology (both raised Calvinist), so I'm not preaching to them or anything, but...they do know that I believe, and they both seem to respect my faith. I'll be honest; I sometimes worry/wonder that they think I believe -because- I deal with 'severe mental illness,' and maybe they view my faith in Christ as a 'coping mechanism,' or...something. I dunno. I'm not trying to over-analyze, it just pops in my mind, now and then. moving on...
my dad worked from the age of 14, onwards. he came from a close knit family, close knit extended family, a subculture of 2nd and 3rd generation offspring of immigrants, bound by church and school and a lot of inter-marriage, and...and...
yeah, I've never really been able to work. doesn't help that I had problems from a young age, and instead of helping, the 'professionals' ripped me to shreds. true story. not that I'm 110% "victim" -- I wasn't sinless or blameless, more clueless than anything else-- I just mention it because psych 'treatment' can be helpful (I take my 'atypical antipsychotic' daily, for instance), but it can also be destructive, even deadly. -buyer beware-
today was a good day. another dinner at the parents' place. tomorrow, dad's going into the office, mama and I are having an outing. easy, breezy. no drama, no more trauma, no more emo psychobabble jibber jabber, just...
-sigh- at long last, I think I can build a life, hopefully a normal(ish) one, from -here- , here being a very good, safe, calm, peaceful "Point A," basically. and...what is "Point B" ? No clue, honestly. I'm praying for His -perfect will- for me, so...
-shrug- I am thankful for His Goodness, which is why this is a Praise Report.
parents are together, healthy, doing well...kind to me, I'm healthy, doing better, kind to them...
God is Good.
