AKJVReader
Member
- Mar 21, 2011
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(With permission, he wants to share this!)
When I was a very young child in Alabama, 1st grade I think, none of my family members, except for my mom's mom and maybe to some extent my mom, were Christians. However, both I and my brother went to a local kids church only b/c the bus came around our neighborhood every Sundays to go there. Honestly, don't remember much about it. But it was only for a couple of years, then for some reason, we quit going partly b/c there was this church both I, my mom, and my brother would go at night, and I would complain to them how the pastor sounded intimidating(yes, he was preaching truth, but it was my own wicked view, FWIW), and my mom caved in. Then for another couple of years until we moved from Alabama to North Texas(my dad got his PHd, and got a professorship at one of the universities), when I talked my family into going to church, b/c it was near Halloween, and with all the stories floating around how kids were dying of poisoning put in the Trick or Treat candies, I got scared.
However, while I attended this church(my mom is Korean, so this First Baptist catered to the local Korean and Chinese groups gather separately), to be honest, my mind was elsewhere, and really never paid attention to the true salvation message. I had this idea that if we merely attend a decent church every week, we wouldn't be going to Hell. At one point, I started reading the Good News Bible, but I just never understood it(by the time I got to Job, I just quit reading it, and never read the NT). Although my mom formed friendships then which has lasted until now(we lived outside of NT for a bit afterwards, will discuss that later). At the same time, this First Baptist back in the 80's felt like the megachurch of TODAY. I mean each grade level was split up into separate classrooms(that's how big it was). The youth group had a nice gym with a beautiful looking lounge/game room. Like I said, I don't remember what message this churched preached, but at the same time, now that I think of it, this was nowhere near your traditional early NT church, although it wasn't as bad as today's Emergents.
Overall, while I have no regrets at all, I'll be honest and say it was a very rough childhood before I moved to New Orleans in the late 80's. Although I had friends to play football and baseball down the street, never interacted with my peers well. Teachers never really liked me, as did many of the students in my schools(I was held back again in the 4th grade, and changed schools like twice to try to "start from scratch"). Never was able to concentrate in school, as a result my grades were average, and overall just couldn't do well on schoolwork in general. I also had alot of odd behavior that got me in trouble and on almost everyone's bad side.
In 1988, in the middle of my freshman year in HS, I moved to New Orleans b/c my dad got a professorship at Tulane U(his long-time close friend taught there, which was how he was able to get a position there. Tulane is the Harvard of the south, so getting a job there is VERY hard). Again, another "start from scratch" for me. However, this time, b/c the New Orleans Public School system is INCREDIBLY rotten(the word here is that supposedly, the black people ruined it. Folks, this is NOT, NOT True - will discuss it in another topic, but the NWO guys likely had alot to do with this fallout), and had no choice put to enroll in a private school, which ended up being an all-boys Catholic HS(Catholic schools are the majority in this city). From here, my grades started to improve. For some reason, I was motivated more to study, and my freshman GPA for the 2nd semester improved pretty darn good. And this was also the same time when my mom attended a Korean church service, and met the pastor whom she's been good friends with(with him, his wife, and his congregation). However, I still didn't get the gospel.
While I still was hard-necked to the gospel, my grades in my sophomore and part of my junior year became all-world all of a sudden. It was coming to a point where I was making the highest grades in some of these classes, and got awards at the end of my sophomore year. However, it came at a price - I wanted to be the best, so I decided to spend every cotton picken minute of my entire life studying, studying, and studying so that I could be the best. Even my parents, b/c of my sin, were deceived into thinking I was doing it on my own, and they rarely ever went to church(other than Easter). I mean this was no different from your average showbiz Bob Dylan/Jay-Z - selling their souls for these earthly riches, but not knowing the consequences later.
Everything started sailing along OK the 1st half of my junior year. A new principle came along - he was much nicer and friendlier than the previous one. He even made policies which would cater to the students(ie-a rotating schedule where we don't have the same class at the same hour every day, and one class a day would be dropped). My GPA continued to sail - however, it was coming at a price. My pride continued to grow, which resulted in distancing and disrespecting my peers, even being paranoid that certain people were out to get me(one time, I jumped this 10th grader b/c I thought he was making fun of me). I mean the atmosphere was supposed to be relaxed, but I was getting angry, paranoid, hateful, prideful, evil - one time I got an A on my 1st qtr Physics exam, I started screaming IN CLASS. But ultimately, all of this came at a price as I continued to study, study, study to ace every single test, exam, and homework assignment...
It was shortly after the 2nd semester started, when the mental toll started taking over me, and I BROKE DOWN. I was on the verge of going after a couple of students who I thought were making fun of me, but the next thing I knew I ran to the principal's office to pour my heart out. I mean I was INCREDIBLY messed up. I was hating my parents and blaming them for pushing me to do well(PARANOID thinking). OK, just to make a long story short here - the counselors recommended that I needed to be hospitalized. Was done so for a month, and came out and even the doctor thought I just needed to relax and socialize more. Guess what - I ended up breaking down AGAIN, and was re-hospitalized. This time, no insurance, but my loving and merciful parents took out a loan against our North Texas home. And this continued in my senior year again. Bottom line - we reap what we SOW. All that fruitless work I did during my first 2 or so years in HS, wanting to be perfect and my own god, really took a toll on my mentally, and it was as if I couldn't concentrate and dow schoolwork anymore. Hospitalized again. It was during this time I was on heavy meds.
I will continue this in the next post, as this is kind of long, but some important things I want to get out.
Anymore - the last 1 and a half of HS was very afflicting, not just me, but on my entire family. Hey guys, please don't laugh or gossip at this. I was diagnosed with a mental illness(OCD), and then years later mild autism(yes, you read it right). However, way back in the early 90's, autism was not known, even my doctor wasn't aware of it.(My doctor then was a nice guy, but like any other mental health profession, he was brainwashed in his respective medical institution) However, this is no, NO excuse for my stiff-necked, wretched, unrepentful, and wicked behavior all these years. However, it was during this tulmultous time when my mom got down on her knees and begged the Lord for help. That was when she got saved and became a true follower of Jesus Christ and his Word.
Just to continue - by the grace of God, I ended up getting a regular HS diploma from my school(no, I'm not defending this school for preaching Catholic teachings, but the principle was a really nice guy, to give him credit, so he gave an exception). I give the Lord Jesus Christ ALL the credit. I then went to Tulane U(b/c my dad taught there, kids got to go free, my brother graduated there too). To put it mildly, it was up and down. Started off part-time, started off great, but it was up and down in between, largely b/c I CONTINUED to REJECT the gospel. A couple of times I got sent to the campus police, the univ dean, and even the school psychiatrist. But by the grace of God, I got spared. Again, up and down, while I made it through from 1991-1999, and barely, I continued to be rebellious, stubborn, wicked, vile, hateful to our Lord Jesus Christ(yes, I would curse him directly then), etc. Like said above, I had mild autism, but that was NO excuse. Remember the woman in Mark that decided no more to see physicians, and was healed b/c of her faith in Jesus Christ. But again, but the grace of God, he got me to graduate with a degree in CIS and Mathematics. And oh - my LAST class meeting in 1999 was also the same day Columbine happened. Go figure! I will say this too - my mom did EVERYTHING for me to hear the gospel - she would drag me to the Episcopalian church at 6am in the morning b/f she went off to her's. Before I graduated, I attended a Methodist campus ministry with a woman preacher.
It was a year later when I landed a real job - felt great. Decent pay, for the city government. However, my vile behavior(I won't go into details, but I was HORRIBLE and VERY un-mannered), I got fired after 3 months. Then I went back to school the following 2001 - everything started to look OK, and decided to change careers to Accounting. However, I was STILL rebellious toward our Lord Jesus Christ. However, over the period from 2001 - 2005, he got me through with flying colors, and despite the mess of Katrina in that year 2005, he paved the way for me to pass the CPA exam.
When I was a very young child in Alabama, 1st grade I think, none of my family members, except for my mom's mom and maybe to some extent my mom, were Christians. However, both I and my brother went to a local kids church only b/c the bus came around our neighborhood every Sundays to go there. Honestly, don't remember much about it. But it was only for a couple of years, then for some reason, we quit going partly b/c there was this church both I, my mom, and my brother would go at night, and I would complain to them how the pastor sounded intimidating(yes, he was preaching truth, but it was my own wicked view, FWIW), and my mom caved in. Then for another couple of years until we moved from Alabama to North Texas(my dad got his PHd, and got a professorship at one of the universities), when I talked my family into going to church, b/c it was near Halloween, and with all the stories floating around how kids were dying of poisoning put in the Trick or Treat candies, I got scared.
However, while I attended this church(my mom is Korean, so this First Baptist catered to the local Korean and Chinese groups gather separately), to be honest, my mind was elsewhere, and really never paid attention to the true salvation message. I had this idea that if we merely attend a decent church every week, we wouldn't be going to Hell. At one point, I started reading the Good News Bible, but I just never understood it(by the time I got to Job, I just quit reading it, and never read the NT). Although my mom formed friendships then which has lasted until now(we lived outside of NT for a bit afterwards, will discuss that later). At the same time, this First Baptist back in the 80's felt like the megachurch of TODAY. I mean each grade level was split up into separate classrooms(that's how big it was). The youth group had a nice gym with a beautiful looking lounge/game room. Like I said, I don't remember what message this churched preached, but at the same time, now that I think of it, this was nowhere near your traditional early NT church, although it wasn't as bad as today's Emergents.
Overall, while I have no regrets at all, I'll be honest and say it was a very rough childhood before I moved to New Orleans in the late 80's. Although I had friends to play football and baseball down the street, never interacted with my peers well. Teachers never really liked me, as did many of the students in my schools(I was held back again in the 4th grade, and changed schools like twice to try to "start from scratch"). Never was able to concentrate in school, as a result my grades were average, and overall just couldn't do well on schoolwork in general. I also had alot of odd behavior that got me in trouble and on almost everyone's bad side.
In 1988, in the middle of my freshman year in HS, I moved to New Orleans b/c my dad got a professorship at Tulane U(his long-time close friend taught there, which was how he was able to get a position there. Tulane is the Harvard of the south, so getting a job there is VERY hard). Again, another "start from scratch" for me. However, this time, b/c the New Orleans Public School system is INCREDIBLY rotten(the word here is that supposedly, the black people ruined it. Folks, this is NOT, NOT True - will discuss it in another topic, but the NWO guys likely had alot to do with this fallout), and had no choice put to enroll in a private school, which ended up being an all-boys Catholic HS(Catholic schools are the majority in this city). From here, my grades started to improve. For some reason, I was motivated more to study, and my freshman GPA for the 2nd semester improved pretty darn good. And this was also the same time when my mom attended a Korean church service, and met the pastor whom she's been good friends with(with him, his wife, and his congregation). However, I still didn't get the gospel.
While I still was hard-necked to the gospel, my grades in my sophomore and part of my junior year became all-world all of a sudden. It was coming to a point where I was making the highest grades in some of these classes, and got awards at the end of my sophomore year. However, it came at a price - I wanted to be the best, so I decided to spend every cotton picken minute of my entire life studying, studying, and studying so that I could be the best. Even my parents, b/c of my sin, were deceived into thinking I was doing it on my own, and they rarely ever went to church(other than Easter). I mean this was no different from your average showbiz Bob Dylan/Jay-Z - selling their souls for these earthly riches, but not knowing the consequences later.
Everything started sailing along OK the 1st half of my junior year. A new principle came along - he was much nicer and friendlier than the previous one. He even made policies which would cater to the students(ie-a rotating schedule where we don't have the same class at the same hour every day, and one class a day would be dropped). My GPA continued to sail - however, it was coming at a price. My pride continued to grow, which resulted in distancing and disrespecting my peers, even being paranoid that certain people were out to get me(one time, I jumped this 10th grader b/c I thought he was making fun of me). I mean the atmosphere was supposed to be relaxed, but I was getting angry, paranoid, hateful, prideful, evil - one time I got an A on my 1st qtr Physics exam, I started screaming IN CLASS. But ultimately, all of this came at a price as I continued to study, study, study to ace every single test, exam, and homework assignment...
It was shortly after the 2nd semester started, when the mental toll started taking over me, and I BROKE DOWN. I was on the verge of going after a couple of students who I thought were making fun of me, but the next thing I knew I ran to the principal's office to pour my heart out. I mean I was INCREDIBLY messed up. I was hating my parents and blaming them for pushing me to do well(PARANOID thinking). OK, just to make a long story short here - the counselors recommended that I needed to be hospitalized. Was done so for a month, and came out and even the doctor thought I just needed to relax and socialize more. Guess what - I ended up breaking down AGAIN, and was re-hospitalized. This time, no insurance, but my loving and merciful parents took out a loan against our North Texas home. And this continued in my senior year again. Bottom line - we reap what we SOW. All that fruitless work I did during my first 2 or so years in HS, wanting to be perfect and my own god, really took a toll on my mentally, and it was as if I couldn't concentrate and dow schoolwork anymore. Hospitalized again. It was during this time I was on heavy meds.
I will continue this in the next post, as this is kind of long, but some important things I want to get out.
Anymore - the last 1 and a half of HS was very afflicting, not just me, but on my entire family. Hey guys, please don't laugh or gossip at this. I was diagnosed with a mental illness(OCD), and then years later mild autism(yes, you read it right). However, way back in the early 90's, autism was not known, even my doctor wasn't aware of it.(My doctor then was a nice guy, but like any other mental health profession, he was brainwashed in his respective medical institution) However, this is no, NO excuse for my stiff-necked, wretched, unrepentful, and wicked behavior all these years. However, it was during this tulmultous time when my mom got down on her knees and begged the Lord for help. That was when she got saved and became a true follower of Jesus Christ and his Word.
Just to continue - by the grace of God, I ended up getting a regular HS diploma from my school(no, I'm not defending this school for preaching Catholic teachings, but the principle was a really nice guy, to give him credit, so he gave an exception). I give the Lord Jesus Christ ALL the credit. I then went to Tulane U(b/c my dad taught there, kids got to go free, my brother graduated there too). To put it mildly, it was up and down. Started off part-time, started off great, but it was up and down in between, largely b/c I CONTINUED to REJECT the gospel. A couple of times I got sent to the campus police, the univ dean, and even the school psychiatrist. But by the grace of God, I got spared. Again, up and down, while I made it through from 1991-1999, and barely, I continued to be rebellious, stubborn, wicked, vile, hateful to our Lord Jesus Christ(yes, I would curse him directly then), etc. Like said above, I had mild autism, but that was NO excuse. Remember the woman in Mark that decided no more to see physicians, and was healed b/c of her faith in Jesus Christ. But again, but the grace of God, he got me to graduate with a degree in CIS and Mathematics. And oh - my LAST class meeting in 1999 was also the same day Columbine happened. Go figure! I will say this too - my mom did EVERYTHING for me to hear the gospel - she would drag me to the Episcopalian church at 6am in the morning b/f she went off to her's. Before I graduated, I attended a Methodist campus ministry with a woman preacher.
It was a year later when I landed a real job - felt great. Decent pay, for the city government. However, my vile behavior(I won't go into details, but I was HORRIBLE and VERY un-mannered), I got fired after 3 months. Then I went back to school the following 2001 - everything started to look OK, and decided to change careers to Accounting. However, I was STILL rebellious toward our Lord Jesus Christ. However, over the period from 2001 - 2005, he got me through with flying colors, and despite the mess of Katrina in that year 2005, he paved the way for me to pass the CPA exam.
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