A word on sex out of marriage...

[sheshisown]

Hi~ all you singles out there in this world filled with lust. . . I struggle in the area of sexual purity in my mind, and hope this word from a solid-bible-teaching pastor will bring as much help to you as it does to me today. This is from today's devotional on http://joncourson.com/ The text is OKJV.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Exodus 20:14

Because the seventh commandment is the least understood, it is the most argued.

But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. - Proverbs 6:32

The world thinks sex is about procreation and recreation, failing to understand that it’s primarily about unification, about two souls being mystically and miraculously merged into one. The issue is not unwanted pregnancy, disease, or AIDS. God says the issue of intimacy is the soul. That is why, after presiding over the first marriage ceremony, He looked at the couple and called their name Adam, singularly (Genesis 5:2). Sex outside of marriage destroys one’s soul irreparably, inevitably. Every time people are involved in sexual activity outside of marriage, there will be destruction as the soul is destroyed a piece, a layer, a step at a time. That is why Jesus was so emphatic when He dealt with the subject of adultery;

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. Matthew 5:27–30 NKJV

Knowing its danger, He told us to deal with it radically, brutally, and severely—to do whatever it takes to keep it from our lives.

If there was a sign that read:

Please proceed with great caution because behind these doors there are experiments taking place with chemical components which may be used one day to cause an explosive reaction at some future point.

I’d probably ignore it.

But if the sign said:

Danger! Explosives!

I would stay away.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.†If you want to read the fine print, you can explore the Scriptures and find the reason why. But here, it is as if God is simply, clearly, and undeniably saying, “Take My Word for it: Adultery is explosive. It is dangerous. It will destroy you.†(Jon Courson; pastor of Applegate Christian Fellowship in Oregon)

God grant us ears to hear this word of warning... :shades

sheshisown~

 

[r3skyline]

what if a couple is truly in love, and they made a promise to each other that they were married to each other. but just never went and had it done because they wanted to wait for a big ceremony type wedding.

...

obviously speaking of my ex and myself...

 

[handy]

what if a couple is truly in love, and they made a promise to each other that they were married to each other. but just never went and had it done because they wanted to wait for a big ceremony type wedding.

...

obviously speaking of my ex and myself...

It's too bad that our society has placed the "big ceremony type wedding" as being more important that taking one's vows before God and before family and friends.

Promising to each other that they are married is not the same as actually being married. Since you're speaking about your ex and yourself, you've probably learned this lesson.

It's not the unforgivable sin. But, placing sex as more important than making the life-long commitments that marriage requires does indeed destroy the soul. Not irreparably, for with God all things are indeed possible.

But, a couple makes a huge step towards life-long joy with each other if they commit to staying sexually pure with each other until they've made the commitment to marry each other.

 

[Flint]

Promising to each other that they are married is not the same as actually being married. Since you're speaking about your ex and yourself, you've probably learned this lesson.

:amen Totally agree with this. I've seen a lot of people make this mistake. I feel for ya', since it's not really a mistake of malice/destruction like you'd normally think of a sin...it's a naive mistake made with good intentions, but a mistake nonetheless. You'll know for next time!

@r3skyline -- Would you mind telling us what happened with your ex? How/why did it end?

 

[Kevin Lowery]

what if a couple is truly in love, and they made a promise to each other that they were married to each other. but just never went and had it done because they wanted to wait for a big ceremony type wedding.

...

obviously speaking of my ex and myself...

You just proved with your own post why its wrong to fornicate (sex outside of marriage) & try to justify by saying “well, one day we will get married†because the fact is you dont know the future, & more than likely you will break up & not get married (like you & your EX). Fornication is a sin, & there is no-way in justifying such sinful actions. We are to fallow the law of God, not our emotions nor personal desires.

 

[r3skyline]

Promising to each other that they are married is not the same as actually being married. Since you're speaking about your ex and yourself, you've probably learned this lesson.

:amen Totally agree with this. I've seen a lot of people make this mistake. I feel for ya', since it's not really a mistake of malice/destruction like you'd normally think of a sin...it's a naive mistake made with good intentions, but a mistake nonetheless. You'll know for next time!

@r3skyline -- Would you mind telling us what happened with your ex? How/why did it end?

i like the way you put it better. lol.

was a mistake, not gonna lie about that, but ... well there is no but. haha. straight up wrong, and now its led to a bigger situation.

how/why it ended...hmm...lots of stuff led up to it....LOTS OF BAD STUFF....

she left because of that stuff + wanting to find God again.

 

[jasoncran]

:verysad i wish i waited. it's best to wait as that makes the first time specail and more likely to last,as we often bond with the person we first have sex with and really never recover from them hurting us if it ends. there's scientific evidence to this.

everheard of this saying, never ever fall in love with the first person you have sex with.
that ought to tell you what we have always known, just didnt want to follow.

 

[Amazed]

I pray that every christian who reads this "word on sex out marriage," takes it to heart. The "It's ok for us to have sex because we're going to get married someday" excuse seems quit popular among believers today. We cross the boundaries that God has placed for us, and we enter the devil's territory. Condoms and birth control cannot protect what truly matters.
For a woman, virginity is so sacred and so precious... more than we realize. Before we become sexually intimate, we are guarded by God Himself... by His Holy Spirit. When we get married, we are guarded by our husbands... of whom the Lord is the head.
The term "give yourself up, or give yourself away," is very literal. When you have sex, you are transferring ownership of yourself from God to the man. But as it turns out, because you are not married to this man, he has no legal claim on you either. And you are left open, unguarded, and unprotected... And that's when the enemy moves in.
Please ladies... don't devalue yourselves.

 

[rppearso]

I have always thought some of these issues to be a conundrum, I have read through the NT and am just finishing up reading through genisis and having several wives and concubines does not seem to be an issue. I am wondering if "adultry" is specificly speaking to sleeping with someone that is already married to someone else (ie their property) and 2 unmarried people having sex would simply be a concubine and that fornication is a flat out mistranslation of the NT because it is totally inconsistant with the OT (and was temple prostitution in the OT, not sex before marriage). Unfortunatly our society supports the divorce remarriage route and not concubines and wives, luckily there are many exceptions allowed for divorce in the NT.

I think in many occasions the chuch is putting an unnatural chastity on people that is not talked about in the bible, why should modern christians tolerate perpetual hornyness (which is acutally pretty brutal and can greatly negitivily effect your concentration and life) when the patriarchs had concubines. Maybe there is more im not aware of in the following books of the OT to come, but from what I have read there are inconsitancies with advice that churches dole out and what is actually writen. Also there is nothing in the NT stating what the requirements are for 2 to be married (ie what the cerimony should look like/include, nor is a cerimony even mentioned).

I think the answer is that if only what is wrtten (and correctly inturpreted) is preached pre marital sex would not be a sin. I think the NT recommends marrying to avoid burning with passoin to avoid the temptation of temple prostitutes or prostitutes in general and the inconsitancy of FWB's (which I guess could be considered a modern day concubine or mistress).

I know that most churchs have their own caticisms and dogmas and all that but going strictly from what is writen in the bible I dont see it ..... yet, I think this pre marital sex dogma puts undue strain on young people to marry when they probably should not be but their hormones still need a release so they can study, work and live life.

 

[jasoncran]

the whoremonger god will judge but let the marrage be undefiled.

we all know what a whoremonger is and its hasnt changed that is 1 peter.

dude, i was set free from porn, and i was freed by the lord, and he gives the strength for chasity.

 

[rppearso]

the whoremonger god will judge but let the marrage be undefiled.

we all know what a whoremonger is and its hasnt changed that is 1 peter.

dude, i was set free from porn, and i was freed by the lord, and he gives the strength for chasity.

I would have to agree to disagree. I PERSONALLY dont agree thats always the case.

 

[jasoncran]

then why believe for salvation as he must give you the ability too keep from sin.

 

[rppearso]

then why believe for salvation as he must give you the ability too keep from sin.

Salvation is a believe in things not yet seen and based on what I know/experiences its the best option since we are all going to die. I believe that God works in our own bodies and responds to prayers but sometimes the body just gets sick and nature takes its course, much in the same way that God designed certian peoples bodies with a high labido and that has to be delt with through marriage. I dont believe in the concept of "waiting on God" to the point of impracticality, I think in a great many of instances God expects us to excersize a little common sense once we know who we are. So for thoes that burn with passion, forcefully abstaining to the point of absurdity is not biblical, practical or common sense. For someone to suffer through that in their youth and then that urge subsides as you get older and trying to claim God answered your prayer is absurd because thats just the human bodys natural progression as you age. If the urges went away after prayer when you were 18 then I would think differently and im not saying that its impossible for God to do that but he either does it or he does not and if he does not then you should marry and not waste your high labido years in suffering because thats not biblical.

Biblical pricipals HAVE to match practicality otherwise the inturpretation is supsect because that would imply a setting up for failure or "unfunded mandates".

 

[jasoncran]

that make no sense to me.

paul states plainly that we are by nature sinners and cant change, so if we could change ,as that is needed to get saved, but the facts we cant be good

romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god.

God gives us the power, we have to be disciplined enough to avoid sin once we are free.

i do it all the time when i',m given strength to do so.

do we just blurt out in angry rages when we are mad or do we hold them back?
do we just have sex with anything or every thing?
do we curse all the time?

some are bound to sins and need to be freed. and they get that sooner or later. once freed they can return to that sin or stay away from it

didnt jesus say that we are to go and sin no more, that doenst mean we wont fail but we must change, how by letting him take the sin and avoiding the sin.

i'm free from porn so i avoid all things from that.
I dont steal any more so i work and avoid stealing.

 

[jasoncran]

it's containable. you dont have to burn, you just want to. that's it.

with all do respect you want that perverted sex and not to feel guilty. i was there the only difference is that i openly admited to the lord that i cant stop that and hated when i did , it ruled me. i hated me after each porn fest, if that isnt in you then i have doubts you ever knew the lord.

i know the struggle as i was stuck on porn for the last 16 yrs.and i was set free a few months ago. God took it from me when the time is right.

its ok to burn for your wife once married. i do. and love it.

 

[rppearso]

it's containable. you dont have to burn, you just want to. that's it.

with all do respect you want that perverted sex and not to feel guilty. i was there the only difference is that i openly admited to the lord that i cant stop that and hated when i did , it ruled me. i hated me after each porn fest, if that isnt in you then i have doubts you ever knew the lord.

i know the struggle as i was stuck on porn for the last 16 yrs.and i was set free a few months ago. God took it from me when the time is right.

its ok to burn for your wife once married. i do. and love it.

I guess I can take it or leave it and it is never used to replace my wife/fiance it is simply used in addition to our bed room activities some times.

 

[jasoncran]

then why do you want God to ignore his commands to avoid premarital sex and extramarital sex for you?

 

[rppearso]

then why do you want God to ignore his commands to avoid premarital sex and extramarital sex for you?

? ..... I am guessing this is a comment that would be better suited to what considers a couple "married". Societilly she would be refered to as my fiance but our church refers us a husband and wife, so maybe I just need to stop saying fiance is all.

 

[jasoncran]

legally married as that would be right thing, i dont think any church would call a live in couple a married one.

 

[rppearso]

legally married as that would be right thing, i dont think any church would call a live in couple a married one.

I have to agree to disagree, we are getting "married" 11-11-11 due to the costs of the wedding she wants etc. Legal marraige is simply a legal option with the state its not a legal requirement, which is another biblical topic for discussion that we will likely have to agree to disagree on (would like to minimize my infractions by not engaging in debate).