Abstinence or sexual education

[LaMexicana]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26622839/?GT1=43001

As a single mom who got pregnant at 20, I think it's unfortnate that so many people think it's ok to teach kids about protection.

They should be taught that nothing is 100% except abstinence.

At least that's what I will be teaching my daughter. That if you have sex before marriage, eventually you will get pregnant or contract a disease. Those things are not the same once you are in a committed marriage. I was never informed of this by my "taboo subject" crazy parents!

Inform your kids!

 

[Gabe]

I agree. Here in the UK we have the highest rate of teen pregnancies in Europe and what do the 'powers that be' suggest we do to tackle this growing problem? Stop our children from having sex?...no, there is talk of introducing Sex Education and free condoms for primary school (6 to 10 year old) children. When I was told this I almost literally threw up my lunch, the mere thought of a pre-high school child getting her hands on condoms and advice on sex is twisted. What next.....pre-teen marriages? I can imagine the pitch 'stop your child from contracting S.T.I's, give them a partner for life!'

 

[heather]

This is so sad! When I was in school, the high school sex ed teacher spent little time on the prophylactics that were/are available, but we spent the majority of our time on abstinence. It was a small conservative school. I want to cry now!

 

[heather]

I thought that I'd add something to my earlier post...
Ultimately, I think that it's up to the parents to teach their children about sex (and abstaining). It is also up to the parents to talk to their children about safe sex if their children are having sex.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Idk, most kids don't learn about sex through sex-ed anyway. I learned about sex from classmates and TV. Mind you, my mind is still clueless to a few things, but still, sex-ed was a joke in my school. I'd still promote Abstinence, as it has kept me childless and Infection free for as long as I've been alive. Not to mention I believe God's word supports it as well.

 

[Caroline H]

The only thing I think my children will need to know is how a human being comes into existence. They will be taught that there is nothing wrong with sex if it is practiced within marriage, but they will definitely not be told specific details. I know that in our modern culture sex is everywhere, and children will pick up on things as they grow, but I certainly don't want my children to be taught sexual education as it is handled in school. For goodness sakes, some schools teach kids how to put on condoms, and about the withdrawal method! It is insane :smt104

 

[handy]

It's totally naive on the part of grown-ups to think that kids would have no knowledge of birth-control pills or condoms, if we don't teach them about them in school. Come on, already, every other commercial break in every TV show teens watch have commercials for them. Kids aren't anymore stupid today than they were 30 years ago, when I was a kid and I knew all about birth control and condoms.

I think the key is to just keep the lines of communication open. If as parents, we talk early and often about our sexual values with our kids, and encourage and exhort them to always come to us with any questions or problems they have, then most issues can be dealt with. If the child is old enough to ask the question, they are old enough to get an age-appropriate answer. I've never yet told either of my kid's, "Umm, you're too little to know about that." They are hammered out there with sexual messages all the time, even when we think we are shielding them from it, we aren't. Rather than try to be a shield, it's better to be a filter. Filter the messages out there, messages from it's important to be "sexy" or "hot", to it's OK to kiss a girl and like it, with God's perspective. If we don't explain things in an age-appropriate manner, they will learn to look elsewhere for answers, and there are plenty of things out there from which they will start drawing conclusions about.

I do talk with our kids, especially our daughter, about sexual things. We talk about everything from how entering into casual sexual encounters can have a horrible impact on developing a healthy life-long relationship with a spouse, how birth control pills do nothing to protect from STD's, how one can indeed get pregnant on one's very first time, etc., etc., etc.. Sometimes my daughter rolls her eyes and goes ewww, other times she asks very serious questions, which I always answer, no matter how much I'd love to shield her from the subject. The reason why I do this is because my parents would have died rather than discuss sex with my sisters and brother and I. The result was that I was sexually abused and didn't talk with them about it, and my sister's and brother were married at 17, 18 and 18. I really wished they would have been more open to discussion, but back then parents really didn't talk about sex that much with kids, and when they did it was much more about the 'mechanics' of sex, rather than the values. I do remember the "Only when you're married" bit, but no reasons were given as to why. God was good, and in spite of the odds, my siblings are all still married to the original spouses and I've been healed from the sexual abuse, but I think life could have been better had we felt we could discuss things with mom and dad. But, when every question asked was answered with "You're too little..." after awhile, we simply stopped asking them.

 

[Caroline H]

I wholeheartedly agree, Handy. If they don't get a strait answer from their parents they'll find out elsewhere, and then you have no control over what they learn.

 

[arthur56k]

i cannot understand why we would be teaching kids and youth about sex education, here in
Africa its still a taboo subject, but the improvements in technology and the way the world has moved has deeply eroded whatever benchmarks there were there in terms of culture where adultery was abhorred. morals everywhere have gone down, and i can say i am one person that was deeply affected and is still trying to come out of the useless maze that is adultery, and sexual sins.

easiest way is to turn to God, anything else is futile

 

[LaMexicana]

We are foolish to think that the only sex ed our children will learn is in school. Like everyone else here, I learned about sex from TV and friends. Unfortunately, it was a very taboo subject with my parents and they didn't teach me anything (thus, being alone and pregnant with HPV at 20) Obviously, I'm not blaming it all on them. I learned God's view on this in church and I had good teachers BUT my parents did not inform me anymore than that. Now that I look back and have my own child, I've realized that parents need to be a huge, if not the biggest, part of this. And it's the same as any other subject...if you don't teach them someone else will and they might teach them the wrong things.

The truth is, you'll have to teach them the nitty gritty. I don't believe just telling them that God doesn't agree with it will work unfortunately. At least not in this society where any idea is accepted. Pregnancy will happen. STD's will happen. Single motherhood will happen. Being a virgin has become such a joke in this world that we need to teach the importance of remaining pure. There is so much pressure and everyone just wants to fit in with everyone else...it's no ok to be "different" We need to teach worth and respect! And teach that abstinence is the only thing in this world that will prevent pregnancies and diseases.

Or we can just lock our children in bubbles and send them to live in the mountains. Either one.

Kidding.

 

[heather]

Raquel, you are so right...
I guess I was fortunate that any questions I had, I could ask my mom. She was very open about it. She left a lot for me to discover on my own, but informed me enough to make educated decisions. My dad, on the other hand, told me to sleep with as many men as I wanted so that when I got married, I know I'd be happy with the sex.
I'm glad that I did not listen to him. That is a recipe for disaster. While I didn't wait for marriage, my husband is the only person I've been intimate with.

 

[Joy2theWorld]

I remember my friend back in England had to take a week off of school due to the fact she may be pregnant...and she was 13 at the time! I mean...13!! It was a false alarm though.

I don't really know what to say about Sex Education. I never actually had it. I didn't want to learn it so I asked my mum to pretend I had a dentist appointment, some schools alow you to send a note but the school I went to requierd it. I know when I went to the doctors for a booster shot about 6 months ago in England the nurse asked my mum to leave the room and offerd me free comdoms..I was 14!! but I just simpy said I'm waiting for marriage.

She kinda looked at me weird as if I was crazy. I find houston's different though, I know England think by giving out free comdoms promotes safe sex...but they should really say that the safest sex, is no sex at all. I'm not bad mouthing England! I love it as much as the next person : But I do think their views on safe sex should change.

 

[MISFIT]

Short answer: Both.

 

[follow_him]

Definitely both. Although of course we'd prefer that they take abstinence to heart, it is certainly a hard message to sell to people at that time in their lives. So, if they don't learn about other means of protection they may come off with absurd notions, such as condoms being 100% effective or birth control protecting against diseases because they are only learning this information from their friends.

Since we can't really stop everyone from doing what they will, we owe it to them to at least arm them with the best information possible. Raise them right and hope that they make the right decisions.

 

[LaMexicana]

Definitely both. Although of course we'd prefer that they take abstinence to heart, it is certainly a hard message to sell to people at that time in their lives. So, if they don't learn about other means of protection they may come off with absurd notions, such as condoms being 100% effective or birth control protecting against diseases because they are only learning this information from their friends.

Since we can't really stop everyone from doing what they will, we owe it to them to at least arm them with the best information possible. Raise them right and hope that they make the right decisions.

So do we tell our children not to have sex BUT if they do they should attempt to protect themselves? Wouldn't that give them the 'go ahead' from us? Which would make the abstinence talk completely pointless. Because, in truth, pill, condoms, etc. don't work....there will be a time when they will not work.

 

[Christianmusiclover]

I vote for sex education and better parenting. Our kids are smarter and more informed than we were 10 - 15 - 20 years ago. We need to start putting more faith in them.

 

[LaMexicana]

I'm going to show my daughter pictures of STD's, people dying of Aids and women giving birth...that'll scare the curiosity right out of her.

 

[MISFIT]

I'm going to show my daughter pictures of STD's, people dying of Aids and women giving birth...that'll scare the curiosity right out of her.

HA I like it. Maybe I'll try the same thing. BTW I love your avatar I too am of Mexican heritage.

 

[LaMexicana]

I'm going to show my daughter pictures of STD's, people dying of Aids and women giving birth...that'll scare the curiosity right out of her.

HA I like it. Maybe I'll try the same thing. BTW I love your avatar I too am of Mexican heritage.

I think pictures and videos would definitely do the trick..."This is what happens when you have sex outside of marriage..."

Thanks! That one is my favorite. I'm glad to have someone else appreciate it

 

[Fobian]

eeek, scaring your daughter into abstinence is one way of doing it.... Why don't you try talking with her and give her lots of information to read as well.

Just a suggestion...