My mother is currently in bondage of three types of addiction - smoking, alcohol and gambling. The first two for most of my life (i.e. almost 40yrs), the third i.e. gambling in the last 10yrs but has progressively become worse and worse as the years go on. She professes to be Christian. I love her more than she will ever understand. Her addictions have strained my own relationship with her which had been wonderful in the early years, but now she has become more emotionally and verbally abusive towards me (especially when she is intoxicated) to the point where I am feeling deflated and hurt. I'm Christian too and it's only by the grace of God that I can still love and honour my mother even though many times I feel hurt by her.
I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on this scenario. My mother asked if she could borrow a large sum of money from me in order to make repayments to her credit card which she uses to gamble. This was the first time she has asked me for financial help and promised me that it is a loan and that she will 100% pay me back. She still works full time and have always been good with her money (i.e. she's a chartered accountant, successful career woman with many property investments etc), so her request not only surprised me but bothered me. Basically, I am not comfortable giving her any money that would in any way enable her to carry on this gambling addiction. She knows it's wrong, she 'hates it' and wants it out of her life, but can't take any practical steps in overcoming it nor ask for any type of help/support from us or externally. She still obviously likes doing it and is in total ignorance regarding the harm it's causing her and our family. Everytime I try to lovingly tell her God's truth about the subject (not demeaning her or disrespecting her), she immediately shuts me down and belittles me. When she is drunk there is no winning and reasoning with her. There are times when I've had to hang up the phone as she yells profanities at me, when she feels like I treat her like she's a child or an idiot etc. That couldn't be further from the truth. I love my mother so much, I just want her set free from this bondage!
Question for anyone reading this. Would you lend her the money to cover her gambling debt? Is it wrong or 'mean' if I choose not to do it? I used to buy her cigarettes from the airport whenever I travelled overseas, but I stopped as I could no longer consciously support her smoking habit. I am sort of at a loss and leaning to God for His wisdom on this.
Thanks for your time.
I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on this scenario. My mother asked if she could borrow a large sum of money from me in order to make repayments to her credit card which she uses to gamble. This was the first time she has asked me for financial help and promised me that it is a loan and that she will 100% pay me back. She still works full time and have always been good with her money (i.e. she's a chartered accountant, successful career woman with many property investments etc), so her request not only surprised me but bothered me. Basically, I am not comfortable giving her any money that would in any way enable her to carry on this gambling addiction. She knows it's wrong, she 'hates it' and wants it out of her life, but can't take any practical steps in overcoming it nor ask for any type of help/support from us or externally. She still obviously likes doing it and is in total ignorance regarding the harm it's causing her and our family. Everytime I try to lovingly tell her God's truth about the subject (not demeaning her or disrespecting her), she immediately shuts me down and belittles me. When she is drunk there is no winning and reasoning with her. There are times when I've had to hang up the phone as she yells profanities at me, when she feels like I treat her like she's a child or an idiot etc. That couldn't be further from the truth. I love my mother so much, I just want her set free from this bondage!
Question for anyone reading this. Would you lend her the money to cover her gambling debt? Is it wrong or 'mean' if I choose not to do it? I used to buy her cigarettes from the airport whenever I travelled overseas, but I stopped as I could no longer consciously support her smoking habit. I am sort of at a loss and leaning to God for His wisdom on this.
Thanks for your time.
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