advice?

[dieselnut06]

Hi all, I am having a bit of inner turmoil about my current situation. I have been "dating" this girl for 1.5 years now and recently we have been fighting constantly it seems, we met before she finished highschool and fell in love and now she has gone off to college and has changed quite a lot from the girl I fell in "love" with. I regret to say we have also had premarital sex which has seemed to put an immense strain on the relationship. I am finding myself pushing away from the relationship and looking for something else. I have noticed that she has seemed to be less interested in growing as a christian as of late and I more interested in growing in my faith which I had fallen away from, her political perceptions as well as her perceptions of life have also seemed to change since she has been going to college. I am having a hard time dealing with these changes as I have had a hard time dealing with change since I was very young, and with all these changes I feel like the girl that I love and had connected with and agreed with in matters of faith, politics, and life isn't there anymore. I am somewhat unfamiliar with the meaning of being equally yoked in terms of faith but I am having a feeling of not being equally yoked as we both come from different church backgrounds and it seems to be a more important part of my life to try and grow in my faith than it is in hers. I don't know how to go about handling this? I am sorry if this makes no sense as it is late and I couldn't sleep with this stuff on my mind but I had to try to do something to get it off my mind. Thank you to those who take the time to read this I am greatly in need of some fellow christian advice

 

[Fembot]

Well, at least you're trying. I commend you for that. But you should really sit with her and an elder at your church to get counseled. So the two of you can speak with some guidance. I would pray about the fear of change. Don't be fearful...ask God to remove fear from your heart, ask Him to guide your girlfriend and you to a better understanding of each other. I would give you more advice but I don't know the whole story. All I can say is being equally yoked means that you and her will both have the SAME FAITH IN GOD. Your faith in God should come before her. What stops you from attending the same church?
Marriage is for life, so before you get all caught up in someone, it's important you two are on the same page concerning God and your lifestyle. If you can't stand something, you need to bow out gracefully because people don't change. If that's what you decide, pray for God to release any ties you've made with her. The secret to not having premarital sex is to never be alone (in private) or to get married! We shouldn't be throwing ourselves around-it is destructive. Until there's marriage, that person is not yours-vice versa.

 

[nyc christian]

Hey,

I went through the same thing. She went to college and then the cookie crumbled; she became wordly and unbearable. Made me think she wasnt interested in Christ. I gracefully walked away because of the huge change she had. I did have to deal with getting rid of the memories and sadness. I am not sure what the whole story is in your case. I think you should pray and if moving on is what is right then you have to let go, if this can be resolved then seek counseling but if she doesnt want to change dont force it. Pray for forgiveness as well as strength to endure the change of being alone for a while. Go to church and hang out with christian friends, family etc.

Later

 

[Fembot]

yeah, don't force it...

 

[faithtransforms]

Dieselnut,

It is just my opinion and perhaps intuition, but this relationship is not good for you. If you are wanting to grow in your faith and she is sliding away from hers, this is a real crossroads. DO NOT LET ANYTHING come before your faith in God. Perhaps through discussion and prayer, she will begin to come back towards God and you two can be healed, perhaps not. But like Fembot said, marriage is for life.

And to be honest, and this may not be a popular opinion, but between Christians who have a sound grasp of doctrine (the Word), there generally will not be a lot of political differences either.

If she is growing more liberal and turning away from Christ and does not change, you must end it. It may hurt like hell, but you will praise God for it in the long run. I know how hard change is. A good friend of mine said he might be moving, and I lost it. Tears and fear and everything...almost a breakdown. Not that this is a good comparison to your situation, but only in the sense that I share your fear of change.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Christ comes first. Pray about what God wants, and if you are being pulled away from this relationship, repent and move on.

She can shange if God gets a hold of her heart, but that may not happen. You sinned in presuming upon your relationship and Having sex with her, and that will make it tougher to get away, but it comes back to putting Christ first.

Talk with her, talk with your Pastor, and seek Christ as #1.