All I do is fail

[neverenough]

I have been following Jesus for over 16 years now. I have given up all worldly forms of entertainment. I have even given up hobbies. I try to stay away from negativity and evil people which is easy to do since I do not work outside the home. I take care of myself, since my body is a temple. I am constantly aware of what I am putting into my body and my mind. I will not pollute it. I read my Bible daily and I pray often, but yet I still fail God. I do not attend church with others, because I have never found a decent church. I could care less about denominations because I want a Bible believing and preaching church, and I have not found one yet. Honestly, I do not believe you need to be in church to worship God since God is everywhere.

Most churches and denominations in my opinion are preaching false doctrine. I do not want to be led astray. I am actually OK with not being in a church. I do not need to be around other people to worship God. I find I do not want to be around many people anymore and again, I am OK with that. I used to be very outgoing and social and I am not anymore. I prefer spending my time in solitude.

The issues are simple. If I have a bad thought, I repent of it to God as soon as possible. If I have a bad reaction, I repent of that also. If I say something or do something that is wrong, I have to immediately admit that I was wrong and ask God for his forgiveness. But it just seems that no matter what I do I’m always feeling absolutely guilty and horrible no matter what. I am a failure. I am not doing what I am suposed to be doing. I am breaking God’s rules for the life I am to live. I feel that I am a horrible Christian and God must be so displeased with me. I deserve nothing.

I try so hard to do exactly what the Bible tells me to do and what God asks of me, but I keep failing. This causes me to clamp down on myself to be worthy of God’s forgiveness. I am constantly asking God what else I need to get rid of out of my life that is not good for me. All I want to do is please Him. I do not want to sin against my God. But it just seems that no matter what I do I am always failing no matter what. Then I think to myself well that’s it..you keep on doing (minor) stupid things even though you’re repenting of it and are truly sorry for them but you are not going to be with Jesus because you can not control yourself. (With the examples I provided) I just do not feel I will ever make it into Heaven. The punishment will be Hell.

I feel like I’m going to be stuck here on earth during the tribulation, and I’m going to have only myself to blame because I am weak. I have been feeling this way for over 16 years. These feelings do not get any better. They get worse. With everything that’s going on in the world and how we are getting closer to the end times (in my opinion) this causes more stress on me. I do not want to be here when that happens. I have been praying to God over and over to be relieved of this. The anxiety alone is a real problem, so are the anxiety attacks that wake me up every morning. They also come on out of the blue. I will not go to see a counselor or a therapist since I don’t trust them at all. Many years ago before I was a Christian I had a few bad experiences with them. Never again. I also don’t believe in taking medication that will do more harm than good.

Does anyone else feel this way or is anyone else experiencing this?

 

[2nd Timothy Group]

Hello and welcome,

Has anyone ever told you about the Spiritual Circumcision of Christ? If there was ever anything to understand; if there was anything to pray for . . . it is the Work and Effect of Christ's Hands. Are you familiar with the below passages?

Colossians 2:9-15 NLT - 9 "For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. 10 So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. 11 When you came to Christ, you were "circumcised," but not by a physical procedure. Christ performed a spiritual circumcision--the cutting away of your sinful nature. 12 For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. 13 You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. 14 He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. 15 In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."

Hang in there . . . you're going to be just fine. We'll get through it.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

I have been following Jesus for over 16 years now. I have given up all worldly forms of entertainment. I have even given up hobbies. I try to stay away from negativity and evil people which is easy to do since I do not work outside the home. I take care of myself, since my body is a temple. I am constantly aware of what I am putting into my body and my mind. I will not pollute it. I read my Bible daily and I pray often, but yet I still fail God. I do not attend church with others, because I have never found a decent church. I could care less about denominations because I want a Bible believing and preaching church, and I have not found one yet. Honestly, I do not believe you need to be in church to worship God since God is everywhere.

Most churches and denominations in my opinion are preaching false doctrine. I do not want to be led astray. I am actually OK with not being in a church. I do not need to be around other people to worship God. I find I do not want to be around many people anymore and again, I am OK with that. I used to be very outgoing and social and I am not anymore. I prefer spending my time in solitude.

The issues are simple. If I have a bad thought, I repent of it to God as soon as possible. If I have a bad reaction, I repent of that also. If I say something or do something that is wrong, I have to immediately admit that I was wrong and ask God for his forgiveness. But it just seems that no matter what I do I’m always feeling absolutely guilty and horrible no matter what. I am a failure. I am not doing what I am suposed to be doing. I am breaking God’s rules for the life I am to live. I feel that I am a horrible Christian and God must be so displeased with me. I deserve nothing.

I try so hard to do exactly what the Bible tells me to do and what God asks of me, but I keep failing. This causes me to clamp down on myself to be worthy of God’s forgiveness. I am constantly asking God what else I need to get rid of out of my life that is not good for me. All I want to do is please Him. I do not want to sin against my God. But it just seems that no matter what I do I am always failing no matter what. Then I think to myself well that’s it..you keep on doing (minor) stupid things even though you’re repenting of it and are truly sorry for them but you are not going to be with Jesus because you can not control yourself. (With the examples I provided) I just do not feel I will ever make it into Heaven. The punishment will be Hell.

I feel like I’m going to be stuck here on earth during the tribulation, and I’m going to have only myself to blame because I am weak. I have been feeling this way for over 16 years. These feelings do not get any better. They get worse. With everything that’s going on in the world and how we are getting closer to the end times (in my opinion) this causes more stress on me. I do not want to be here when that happens. I have been praying to God over and over to be relieved of this. The anxiety alone is a real problem, so are the anxiety attacks that wake me up every morning. They also come on out of the blue. I will not go to see a counselor or a therapist since I don’t trust them at all. Many years ago before I was a Christian I had a few bad experiences with them. Never again. I also don’t believe in taking medication that will do more harm than good.

Does anyone else feel this way or is anyone else experiencing this?

Sounds you’re trying in your own efforts to be acceptable. That doesn’t work. Sounds a lot like religion.

First, there isn’t a tribulation coming. That’s over and done a long time ago. So this needn’t trouble you. You’re not going through it.

The only thing I can offer is you put effort into asking God to speak to you and do what he says. Start my asking him to search your heart for sins you’ve DONE and ask forgiveness of God and man as needed. Once the Holy Spirit has stopped showing you stuff, stop looking. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

The difference between conviction of the HS and condemnation is conviction is specific as to particular choices we made whereas condemnation is a vague unworthiness. Next time you feel condemned repeat that verse, “there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.”

Another point, some of those thoughts that occur in your mind are NOT YOURS. The enemy suggests evil thoughts and then condemns us for what he just did. Rebuke those thoughts immediately. They aren’t yours. “Resist the enemy and he will flee from you.”

Try seeking God in relationship. It’s less of a burden.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

I’m not Catholic, but the last recorded words of Mary are worth noting, “whatever he tells you to do, do it.” Notice what HE tells you to do, not what burdens you place in yourself.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

You seem to have a lot of dedication and that's good.

I definitely know what it's like to not belong at a church or not to be able to find one that honestly feels like a presence of God is there.

There was a Proverb I read many years ago that resonates with me:

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.


Thinking upon it, if one person is supposed to sharpen another that only feeds further into the idea that God designed us to be social beings and not only to spend time with him, but with other people.

Life gets crazy, though, and there are times we will be away from other people. Sometimes for a season or longer depending on life circumstances.

There are many churches that do preach false doctrine. This is true. There are also many churches that would never dream of preaching something false and if that were the case and they accidentally did then they would repent whole-heartedly.

I'm not sure the source of your guilt nor could I be sure as I'm not you. In a way it sounds to me that you're taking a "never good enough" approach. I used to be more like that and used to attend a church like that...that made Heaven seem unachievable. That can be a problem because it's honestly as simple as the Bible tells us. If we follow God's laws and accept Jesus Christ as our savior then we shall get to Heaven one day. You're trying this hard, why would God be displeased with you? Who decided you were a "failure"?

I know what it's like to feel alone and to want to withdraw for everything. I suppose in my life, I am unable to. I have to get my kids outside and to meet other people. I want to be able to see a friend once in a while or help with a good cause from time to time. I also know that it can be refreshing to be around the right people and can lower the chance of depression by a great amount.

Anxiety can also affect how we feel about the world and view it. Been there; done that.

I understand not wanting to go to therapists or trusting them. Although, there's no shame in trying to get help if you need it. You might want to try to find a good, reputable Christian counselor if possible. Sadly, many of them don't work with insurance so it makes it expensive to see them, which is super not cool. However, they will usually put God in the center of the counseling unless you see one that's totally off their rocker, I suppose.

As far as all natural goes...I am not a doctor nor a therapist so I can't diagnose nor recommend something that will 100% solve your issues. I do know, however, that issues with vitamin deficiencies can increase chances of depression and anxiety such as vitamin D, magnesium, etc. you may want to check into that. If you have any foods that are bothering you that you don't realize are bothering you, that can also contribute to anxiety or depression symptoms.

I struggle with depression and anxiety and I'm also terrified to see a therapist. Will I at some point? Perhaps, but I have a fear of it. Fear of more medications, too. Already on one, and while I guess I should count that a blessing with my condition, I'm terrified what it's doing to me long-term.

When I felt my absolute best years back...I've been trying hard to think back upon it because I have a horrible issue again now...more depression, anxiety, and mental breaks. When I felt my best, I found what helped me. I took a tablespoon of coconut oil each day, I made an effort to be outside in the sun at least 20 minutes each day, I was eating a lot of veggies per day (at least half a plate each meal), I was doing a green juice every morning and waited an hour before eating or drinking anything else, and a kicked out sugar as much as possible. I had a little cheat thing once a week or so, but I later in life found out wheat bothered me as well as most other grains. When I eat them day after day, it makes my depression worse.

I'm fighting to get my diet back on track. I slipped on my diet years ago and haven't been able to get it back. It's also "sugar season" as I like to call it with Halloween, Christmas, and New Year's around the corner and that's usually where I slip because free sources of treats are literally everywhere and most of them contain wheat or some other grain I shouldn't be eating.

 

[2nd Timothy Group]

You seem to have a lot of dedication and that's good.

I like the way that you encourage and build others up! This is evidence of a Purified Heart.

 

[stovebolts]

Reading your post, I am deeply saddened because our relationship with Christ is to set us free, not bind us in bondage.
You won’t find a perfect church because by design, the church is imperfect, but through our imperfections, Jesus is shown and known by the mercy and grace we exhibit toward one another.

We all have bad thoughts that randomly pop into our head. It doesn’t matter how terrible or sinful those thoughts may be, we are not responsible for those thoughts. Now listen very careful here. While we are not responsible for those thoughts, we are responsible what we do with those thoughts. If we start to entertain those thoughts, we start down the road to sin, but if we take those thoughts captive, then we can rejoice in the victory.

Repentance is often explained as hitting the mark. Imagine an archer trying to hit a bulls eye. Every miss is sin, but each time we draw that bow, we get closer to hitting that mark, but it takes continued practice, and we should get excited when our arrow comes close to the bulls eye. It’s cause for rejoice, not regret, remorse or guilt. These three factors only occur when we give up and stop trying.

And here is a secret that Paul teaches us. He says that if we steal, then stop stealing, get a job and give to those in need.

Hospitality and generosity to those in need is the bullseye. That’s what God wants for us. When we steal, it goes against helping others and actually hurts others. Repentance is not simply to stop stealing regardless how bad you may feel. If you just stop stealing, regret and guilt sets in and you are still in sins bondage because you haven’t even tried to hit the mark, which is generosity and hospitality. It is the same with telling lies. God wants us to be truthful. So if we are lying, to simply shut our mouths is not repentance. Telling the truth is. This is why we confess our sins to others that we trust to help us grow. Grace doesn’t say sin is ok. Grace says yeah, you missed up but together, we’ll get you through this and you’ll hit that mark.

This is what church should look like. It’s a community of imperfect people all sharing each other’s burden. It’s a view that we as a body haven’t perfectly attained yet for numerous reasons but if you shop around, you should be able to find a community with a few good people that will support your walk with the Lord.

 

[for_his_glory]

neverenough you have been given some good advice that is helping you in lifting you up as others are trying to do. There is no one that is perfect and you will not find a perfect church, but will find others in the church you can fellowship with as they become your friends. Sometimes we can be our own worse enemy dwelling on those things we feel we are a failure with, especially when you shut yourself off from the world around you. This gives way for Satan to plant doubt in your mind as he tries to steal your faith.

I don't know if you have ever been Spiritually born again from above or indwelled with the Holy Spirit, read the book of John, as it sounds like you are a lone wolf trying to make your own way, but seeing yourself as a failure and not being pleasing to the Lord. I do not attend any church right now and not sure if I ever will, but I do get a lot of fellowship with others here at CF as we share the word of God with each other and discuss many topics, even if we do not always agree all the time with each other, but yet we are all a child of God that makes up the true body of Christ with He being the head of the body.

Even though you sit in solitude in your own home you can reach out to others through your computer, maybe not face to face, but in fellowship as we share the word of God with each other and learn to walk in obedience to God's commands and how we need to encourage each other by lifting up and edifying one another. You can also get involved with different charities in your area that helps those who need a helping hand. The best thing to do is put your best foot forward and keep looking forward and never look back and be that child of God He has called you to be.

Never be afraid to ask questions as many are here to help you and want to get to know you better. If you ever run into a problem with someone giving you a hard time just report them by making a posting in Talk With the Staff forum and include the members name, the thread and the post #. God has never forsaken you so please do not forsake Him as He is always with you even though at times you might not feel Him with you.