I have OCD so i might be freaking out more than i should be. I am Christian and I love my lord and savior! I need him right now more than ever! I am going through some tough times and I am constantly praying! However I am scared i am ashamed of God! Everyone knows I am a Christian, and I am not scared or ashamed to talk about God at all! However for instance like if i think about putting "Reading the Bible" or something of that nature on my facebook status....i get scared of what people will think of me! that is something i am struggling with. I care way too much about what people think of me! Its also probably apart of my OCD! So if im scared to write "reading the bible" or something on my facebook because i am scared of what people will think.....does that mean i am ashamed of God and he will leave me? I am so scared! I love God and I need him so badly right now and I am only happy when i know He is with me! Also when I was in high school I had this bag that said "Jesus" on it and i wore it to school. Even though i wore it to school i was really scared what people were thinking about me, like I'm a loser or something! OMG writing this scares me so much because there's a bible verse that says if your ashamed of God, God will be ashamed of you!!! I don't want God to be ashamed of me!!! I need him so badly right now! I'm going through tough times right now and I need to know that He is not ashamed of me because I am scared of what people will think of me! Does it sound like i am ashamed of God? Or do i care way to much about what people think of me? ugh I don't know! writing something like "Reading my bible" on my facebook status makes me very uncomfortable, and that scares me because that makes me think I am ashamed of God! Am i ashamed of God!??? That bible verse that says "If your ashamed of God, He will be ashamed of you" scares me to death, because i need Him!!! I need God to answer and hear my prayers and I am deathly afraid he is not listening to me because I am possibly ashamed of him!! I am freaking out! someone please help me!! again I have OCD so I am obsessing about this and it is scaring the crap out of me! I really hope I am not ashamed of God! I want to live happily in God's grace and His love but I'm scared I can't because I'm scared I am ashamed of him! How can I get his feeling to go away! So am I ashamed of God?? Or do I care way to much about what people think of me?? Is God still with me and listening to my prayers even though I feel this way? I mean like I said before I am NOT ashamed to talk about God to other people and I'm NOT ashamed to say I am a Christian! I dont know...I still believe I am ashamed of God for some reason! What do you guys think? Any advice will help!!! I want to be happy in God's love but I can't with this hanging over my head!
P.S I do take medication for my OCD......My OCD makes small worries into huge ones that I obsess over!
Matthew 10:33 "But whoever denies me before men, him I will also deny before my Father who is in heaven."
I'm assuming this is the verse.
Okay
1. You have admitted you have obsessive compulsive disorder.
2. This verse was not talking about facebook statuses.
You carried your bag with Jesus on it whilst worrying about what people were thinking. Do you not think that apostles and evangelists were not worrying that they might get beaten to death by the people they were preaching to? This is human and quite normal. It says "he who
DENIES me". Not he who "worries about denying me". As every christian would. You are not alone.
You see, it is the courage that matters, you carried that bag, despite your worries. That was courageous, thats what God wants, people who despite their fears will do spread that name, the name above all names.
Now, if you fear putting a facebook status because of what people will think, I have also at times not put up a status [maybe a bible verse] because of what people will reply to me with. In the grand scheme of things it is not a big thing. My sin, is likely greater than your own, as indicating to someone that they you're reading a bible is like saying "mowing the lawn". Its a statement of your own action, not sharing the word, as i have failed to do myself at times.
You're own torment by this, is also indication that God has not abandoned you. You see, if you were abandoned, it would mean the spirit of God was not upon you, thus you would not be worrying about your own salvation. Natural man does not care about such things, he'd be more bothered about where he would be going on a friday night.
Sis. Take heed in the fact that you're walk is still continuing, and that God himself has called YOU from among the billions of lost who walk this earth, flaling in darkness and satiating their own desires. He has given YOU a cross to carry, one which you will be able to carry.
I would advise that if this is something that bothers you greatly, repent, ask God to take away your fear, and to give you strength and courage to continue on.
One day, you won't fear what others think.
I once had a fear [one I wont tell you of so I dont give you something else to worry about] Satan would use it however, but once I realised the context of the verses troubling me, all was well.
The context of the verse you are worrying about, is in times of tribulation..your life is on the line, or you are before people [even family], and they are pressuring you..calling you "christian, christian". Then you deny Jesus, to save yourself.
v32 ""Whoever
acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven."
you have already said that people KNOW you follow Jesus! If that is the case, you are already doing quite well. Actually, I heard the other day, who used to go to church, but was picked on so stopped going. You haven't stopped doing anything. You haven't denied him. Emotions are not going to condemn you! Action will, its the act of denial that will condemn you. You haven't denied him!! You have simply felt fear. Why not post now on facebook that you are reading your bible? If this fear has power, take that power away. It doesnt matter if you do it or not. If anything, you have denied that you are reading the bible...
v34 ""Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a
sword."
v35 "For I have come to turn "'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law--"
v36 "a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'"
Notice the context of the verses. Its about DENYING Jesus, and allowing the world [including family] to dictate your beliefs. Nothing you can do however, is beyond the remit of repentance!! You seem to be SO sincere, i think you should do it if only to calm your mind
Remember, to be worrying about salvation, is not a bad thing. To be scared of men IS, however you can overcome it, with time. You are in a tricky spot at the moment, I am quite a hypochondriac, and have obsessive thoughts myself, trust me..I have feared things similar to what you are fearing. You CAN overcome it!
I am only 25..so I can relate! I bet most 70 or 80 year olds in your church have had these same worries in their lifetimes
