Any Sports Moms/Dads Here?

[Mike]

So, as a father of a son (and two daughters) who plays travel football and Federation Baseball, I wonder how we have gotten to this place. Maybe it's different here in the U.S. than other parts, but it wasn't like this when I was growing up. I knew one person who played Federation Baseball. The rest of us joined our community associations and played whatever was offered. I didn't discuss the financial burdens with my parents, but I'm pretty sure they were very minimal.

So now my son, and a good number of kids I know, pay exorbitant sums of money just to join. And that's not including the travel/overnight costs and all of the random fees. We have fund raisers that are intended to dent the impact, but they truly only "dent" them. Instead of me riding my bike to the nearby field, or my parents driving me to practice once a week, we are driving my son to practice 3-4 times a week just during the pre-season. And then when the season picks up, we add on the games. I'm just thankful that he doesn't play hockey.

This goes hand-in-hand with the trend of society. Always ratcheting up our lifestyles and taking time away from family. I love to have him involved in activities that pull him away from free time which can lead to no-good, but it's also taking us away from family time; time that could be spent building our family connection and matters of importance.

For those that are sports moms & dads, are we sacrificing simple living and setting our kids up for lives that are ambition oriented as opposed to "being still and knowing He is God"?

 

[PouringRain]

For those that are sports moms & dads, are we sacrificing simple living and setting our kids up for lives that are ambition oriented as opposed to "being still and knowing He is God"?

I believe that sports teaches kids many good things that they can benefit from later in life. You mention ambition, but also perseverance, hard work, dedication, working towards a goal, patience, and even handling failure and knowing ones limitations. Many other things as well. I don't think that it sacrifices simple living, or doesn't teach kids to be still and know He is God. I think a parent can teach those things in life regardless of sports. I guess I am saying that I don't see a direct connection between having a child involved in sports and in the inability to teach those things. I think that parent involvement in their child's life will happen or not happen regardless of sports. I used to drive my oldest an hour each way to her gym, four days a week, and we spent time in the car talking. I also think that sometimes the problem is not with the sport, but with the parent. It is one thing to encourage a child to be competitive and work hard, but it is another thing when parents have an attitude that failure is not an option and a "kill, kill, kill" attitude. It really bothers me when I see a child who is not older than 7, and the child is in tears and frustrated and angry because he didn't live up to his parent's expectations for him in his very first game. Wow.

I know what you mean about costs.

 

[Mike]

PouringRain, thank you for responding. I understand that a spiritual life CAN be had, but it CAN make it more difficult. Just as with adults when they are overextending themselves, children can be too. Getting distracted "with life" in being busy, can take its toll at any age. I've always been involved as a dad. I've coached my kids in several different sports, and we always are there for games. As my oldest has gotten into his teens, he's moved on to better teams and coaching. With all the travel, we share rides with other parents, so there's not the drive time you're talking about all the time.

Now add that to our other two girls - brownies, dance, volleyball... Many times we're going in different directions.

I agree with the benefits of sports when a kid has supportive parents the reinforce positive ambitions. By cost, I thought I made it plain. I don't know where you live. I live in the U.S. and see our standards of living (save for the economic downturn) as always going up. We have bigger houses than our parents had, generally. We have more "stuff", bigger TV's, etc. And now-days, instead of having our kids in rec leagues in our community, many (mine too, obviously) are in expensive programs that take our children further away from home.

It's just a general heightened reach for bigger things.

 

[PouringRain]

I can certainly understand how when children get into their teens there can be less time spent with them. Being a single mom of four, some days I feel like I am a taxi service. One thing I try and do is make sure I spend one on one time with each of them.

Money wise, I do know how expensive it can be. I once was required to spend around $500 just for uniforms for one child for the season! The doesn't even include the cost of the monthly tuition, her team fee, registration fee, and meet fees. (She was a competitive gymnast.) We actually do live a very simple life though. In my home we do not have the latest and best of everything. No flat screen tv here. Our computers are over 5 years old. For clothes the kids wear lots of hand-me-downs, and I only shop sales and thrift shops. I love when Payless has buy one get one half off sales, PLUS I get to use my coupon. Haha. It's the only time anyone around here gets new shoes. But things like sports and activities for the kids, I have never been one of those women whose children can not participate and have to sacrifice simply because their mother can't afford it. So, for us, the "bigger and better" phenomenon is not one that has been an issue in our home. Even my 8 year old son told me the other day that he will not buy mechanical pencil refills at Walmart, because it is $3 for 1 pack, but at the dollar tree he can get 3 packs for $1. :yes *proud mom here* But I do want to be able to give my children the best opportunities.