Are the children necessary???

[Classik]

If couples have some very serious issues they can't control...should they invite their children to help (regardless of their ages)? Or, is it just okay for a couple to openly quarrel before their children (kind of letting them know: 'your dad/mom is at fault')?

 

[farouk]

If couples have some very serious issues they can't control...should they invite their children to help (regardless of their ages)? Or, is it just okay for a couple to openly quarrel before their children (kind of letting them know: 'your dad/mom is at fault')?

[MENTION=82815]Classik[/MENTION], hard to say in some ways, not knowing all the circumstances; but the quarreling part is a no no.

Blessings.

 

[handy]

Depends very much on the age of the children and the nature of the issue.

Quarreling in front of the kids, no matter the age is dicey... If it's just a matter of having a disagreement and resolving it, OK... that actually can be good because the kids see two mature adults resolving issues without it blowing up. But, if the fighting is ugly... then no, the kids shouldn't see that. Nor should one parent ever put down or cast fault at the other parent. The only time I could ever envision it being helpful for a parent to cast blame on the other parent is if the other parent did something terrible to the child and the child was blaming him/herself...and that only if the offending parent didn't man up and make it right.

Now that our kids are teens, we let them in on more of the issues that impact the family. Kid's are pretty perceptive and often know when something's wrong. Depending on the maturity level of the kids, it can be less stressful if they know what the problems are and what mom and dad are doing about them. If the issues are financial, it's also helpful for the kids to understand why they can't have an iPad or a new Wii U.

 

[reba]

Like in most things balance is good.. Age matters... Kids also need to know you can love some one and be angry at them , seeing parents forgive each other is a good lesson. Learning how to be
sorry , not just saying the words. Like Handy said kids are perceptive

handy

 

[jahjahwarrior]

I've always been a firm believer that when a couple has a disagreement on something, only they themselves should work it out together. If the problem is so bad that a third party is absolutely necessary, that third party should be a pastor who can provide a non-biased solution based soley on scripture. I think getting other people involved can actually add fuel to the fire.