Are You Spouses or Just Roommates?

[Willie T]

Would someone care to explain that joke to me? The wife wasn't used to it means she was inexperienced? Okay, but how could that possibly be so funny to make everyone laugh? Sorry for being so dumb...

OK........ We'll go along with it.

 

[Edward]

 

[Claudya]

OK........ We'll go along with it.

Maybe I'm just not getting the concept of how sexual experience, or lack thereof, is any indication for a person's quality (or lack thereof) as a spouse or as a person in general....

 

[Edward]

I ain't touching that one...think I'll go to work now, lol.

 

[Willie T]

Maybe I'm just not getting the concept of how sexual experience, or lack thereof, is any indication for a person's quality (or lack thereof) as a spouse or as a person in general....

Nope, I guess not.

 

[th1b.taylor]

ILoveGod already posted the pertinent scripture. it should not be a sexless marriage. If the wife wants to love, he better love her and vice versa. If it is to be a sexless marriage, then it would be on agreement of them both.

If one deprives their spouse, they'll drive them out the door to go fulfill it. I think what a lot of men do not realize is that really good sex at night, starts in the morning. :wink

Edward,
There is only one thing wrong with what you have said, sex is not love. Love is a decision to share one's life resulting in a, planned, life long union of a man and a woman, Sex on the other hand, contrary to Hollywood's teaching, is a product of one of two causes;
1. lust or
2. a well founded marriage where both, man and wife, work to satisfy the physical and emotional needs of the other.

The difference in the length of the answers of one and two do, coincidentally, illustrate how long both last in the life of a person. And, much, to the distaste and disbelief of most of the world, the back seat is the world's worst invention any human ever created. Every time a male and a female human crawls into the back seat and couples, they are, in the eyes of God, married and almost all of those unions fail, resulting in an undocumented divorce.

 

[Edward]

Edward,
There is only one thing wrong with what you have said, sex is not love. Love is a decision to share one's life resulting in a, planned, life long union of a man and a woman, Sex on the other hand, contrary to Hollywood's teaching, is a product of one of two causes;
1. lust or
2. a well founded marriage where both, man and wife, work to satisfy the physical and emotional needs of the other.

The difference in the length of the answers of one and two do, coincidentally, illustrate how long both last in the life of a person. And, much, to the distaste and disbelief of most of the world, the back seat is the world's worst invention any human ever created. Every time a male and a female human crawls into the back seat and couples, they are, in the eyes of God, married and almost all of those unions fail, resulting in an undocumented divorce.

Oh, I definitely agree with you. I got used to calling it that because for some reason the wife found it distasteful to say the word sex. Force of habit brother!

 

[th1b.taylor]

Oh, I definitely agree with you. I got used to calling it that because for some reason the wife found it distasteful to say the word sex. Force of habit brother!

lol Then go with what pleases her.

 

[follower]

Oh, I definitely agree with you. I got used to calling it that because for some reason the wife found it distasteful to say the word sx. Force of habit brother!

remember in society is is distasteful (worse actually)..... best not to go there ...... not to even speak about the works of darkness that are done.... (where is that written?)....

 

[Edward]

lol Then go with what pleases her.

You bet brother!

remember in society is is distasteful (worse actually)..... best not to go there ...... not to even speak about the works of darkness that are done.... (where is that written?)....

true that, however, this type of 'behind closed doors' talk that we do here can be done if spoken with a wise tongue for the mutual edification of all of us brothers and sisters. Our good brother ILoveGod did have a good inspiration for a thread, for us to ponder these matters. It is not good to live in sin (without being married) and is something that should be meditated on by our brothers and sisters of this day and age because of the fact that people lately almost treat it like a minor issue because of the acceptance of the world of it and adulterous ways. It is politically correct nowadays to have many partners before one gets married...and that's just wrong.

Geez, back in days of old, adultery was punishable by death. That's a clue to how very important the issue really is. So as long as we keep our head (and tongue) about it, there's edification to be had here.

 

[presidente]

Is a sexless marriage ok? How much sex should married couples have?

Generally, I'd say as much sex so that both parties are happy with it.

A sexless marriage is not okay if one party does not agree to it. Of course, health issues may make a sexless marriage a necessity for some people.

 

[presidente]

Maybe I'm just not getting the concept of how sexual experience, or lack thereof, is any indication for a person's quality (or lack thereof) as a spouse or as a person in general....

From reading the Bible, we can see that marrying a virgin is a desirable thing. Rebecca, we are told, was beautiful and a virgin, two positive traits. Israelites were allowed to marry virgin captives taken from distant nations they fought in war. And a woman who feigned virginity and was married off with a bride price for virgins was subject to a death penalty if she had played the harlot in her father's house, losing her virginity before marriage.

I was a virgin before marriage. I looked for a virgin to marry, and married one. Maybe the joke is more likely to make instant sense to those who see virginity as a criteria in a spouse.

 

[Claudya]

From reading the Bible, we can see that marrying a virgin is a desirable thing. Rebecca, we are told, was beautiful and a virgin, two positive traits. Israelites were allowed to marry virgin captives taken from distant nations they fought in war. And a woman who feigned virginity and was married off with a bride price for virgins was subject to a death penalty if she had played the harlot in her father's house, losing her virginity before marriage.

I was a virgin before marriage. I looked for a virgin to marry, and married one. Maybe the joke is more likely to make instant sense to those who see virginity as a criteria in a spouse.

Yes of course the Bible says virginity is preferable. But calling women who have had sex before "worn out whores" is still rather respectless.
The Bible allowed for women to re-marry, for example after the death of their first husband.
There are way more important criteria for whether a marriage will succeed or not.

 

[iLOVE]

Blessed are all who fear the Lord,
who walk in obedience to him.
2 You will eat the fruit of your labor;
blessings and prosperity will be yours.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
around your table.
4 Yes, this will be the blessing
for the man who fears the Lord.
5 May the Lord bless you from Zion;
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem
all the days of your life.
6 May you live to see your children’s children—
peace be on Israel. Psalm 128 NIV

v.1-2 In order for a Christian to receive blessings and prosperity it starts when you fear the Lord. What does fear of the Lord mean? It means to take God seriously.
v.3-4 So if the Husband is obedient God will make your wife willing and able to supply all your needs. So Husbands it starts with you. The bible says your wife is also your helper. In other words God will speak through her sometime to help you.

For the wives if your husband does not fear the Lord and is not walking in obedience, Pray for him. Ask Jesus to add to them the things they lack. Many Christian husbands and wives don't have it in them to do certain things. So that's why we pray and ask God to transform them. However you must ask with the right motives.

James 4 Amplified Bible (AMP)
4 What leads to strife (discord and feuds) and how do conflicts (quarrels and fightings) originate among you? Do they not arise from your sensual desires that are ever warring in your bodily members?

2 You are jealous and covet [what others have] and your desires go unfulfilled; [so] you become murderers. [To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned.] You burn with envy and anger and are not able to obtain [the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek], so you fight and war. You do not have, because you do not ask.

3 [Or] you do ask [God for them] and yet fail to receive, because you ask with wrong purpose and evil, selfish motives. Your intention is [when you get what you desire] to spend it in sensual pleasures.

4 You [are like] unfaithful wives [having illicit love affairs with the world and breaking your marriage vow to God]! Do you not know that being the world’s friend is being God’s enemy? So whoever chooses to be a friend of the world takes his stand as an enemy of God.

 

[presidente]

Yes of course the Bible says virginity is preferable. But calling women who have had sex before "worn out whores" is still rather respectless.

I'd like to point out that I was not the poster who wrote that.

The Bible allowed for women to re-marry, for example after the death of their first husband.
There are way more important criteria for whether a marriage will succeed or not.

I agree that widows are allowed to remarry. Statistically, virginity has been shown to have a high correlation with not getting a divorce. I wouldn't expect widows who were virgins at their first marriage who'd been faithful and abstained from fornication after their husbands died to be at a higher risk, though, but I don't have any data for my intuition.

 

[Edward]

Running away so soon, Mr. Presidente?

 

[20yrsmarried]

We do have sex but so times I feel like that's all I'm good for to him. It's hard to desire it when you don't feel "there" emotionally.

 

[Claudya]

I'd like to point out that I was not the poster who wrote that.

Yes I'm aware it wasn't you.
But I thought calling women who have had previous sexual eperience "worn-out" and "whores" is quite insulting because it implies that a person's quality and value is determined by how much sex they've had.
That's not what the Bible says. It's just plain misogyny.

I agree that widows are allowed to remarry. Statistically, virginity has been shown to have a high correlation with not getting a divorce. I wouldn't expect widows who were virgins at their first marriage who'd been faithful and abstained from fornication after their husbands died to be at a higher risk, though, but I don't have any data for my intuition.

Yeah I heard about that finding.
But I wonder
- if those results are the same elsewhere but in America
- whether marriages that start at virginity are actually happier (because not getting a divorce does not necessarily mean the marriage is good)
- what they would find if they'd take things like religion, values, mental health, physical attractiveness, economical situation into consideration, because I suspect it's not really virginity, but some third fator that is correlated with both virginity until marriage and with a lower divorce rate, so the direct correaltion between virginity and divirce rate may be much lower than you'd think..

 

[th1b.taylor]

We do have sex but so times I feel like that's all I'm good for to him. It's hard to desire it when you don't feel "there" emotionally.

I am very sad to hear that youn'un. There could not be much in this world to hear than that fact. A frigged relationship is usually attributed to the wife but hanging out with men, so much of my life, I have witnessed wifes treated like chattel and I find very little sadder than that.

Having to become a truck driver, because of this disease, in the latter part of my life I had to be very mindful of my wife and always work to assure her I held her up as special. When I needed to I had the operation that allowed me to take care of her personal needs and knowing her love of angel statue trinkets, I picked them up where ever I traveled. She has about a bookcase full of them and to this day, being completely disabled I still pat her hinney every now and then. Your husband has no idea the blessing he is missing.


May God open his eyes and bless you both.

 

[ReginaForbes]

I will put in my 2cents as this is relevant to my life. My husband and I don't have sex anymore. It's not that he won't, he just can't (he has health problems). But, we still have intimacy. Yes of course, there are things we can do in the bedroom, but I'll keep that part to myself. But what I can tell you is that we still hug, kiss, cuddle, and touch eachother. In fact, my favorite thing to do is come into his den when he's playing the guitar and kiss him on the back of the neck...he literally purrs when I do this. And at night he'll take the lotion out and give my feet a good rub-down. So, no, just because you don't have sex doesn't mean it's all over and done with!