Indeed. as i said i DO love me some R.C. Sproul and Tim Conway and James White and all those guys. I got nothing against them PERSONALLY.
I just feel much less anxiety right now when im not constantly thinking "am I really saved, am I really elect?" because if you are familiar with the Perseverance of the saints doctrine, it provides less security of salvation than the arminian "you can fall away" view. Because of the fact that you can never really know FOR SURE that you are one of the elect, until you pass to the other side.
I am not going to lie and say I still dont hold to some reformed ideas subconsciously due to the way I read the scriptures with those "lenses" on.
Here are a few examples of how I read the scriptures when I was a calvinist:
- Every verse about chosen automatically means chosen from eternity to salvation (never service or anything like that)
- All the verses that say to continue, persevere, remain steadfast, abide etc. are just descriptive of the true elect that will then persevere. (Despite the fact that these are adressed to churches)
- The word "all" doesnt mean "all" in 1 Timothy 2:4 where it says God wants ALL to be saved, but it sure does mean "all" in Romans 3:10 where all have sinned and it sure does mean "all" in Ephesians 1:11 where God works all things according to the pleasure of His will.
- I would make massive leaps in logic, for example: In Exodus it says God made the mouth (of man) and God is teh one who makes dumb, deaf and blind. So because God makes some people deaf dumb and blind, THEREFORE, everything that happens is predestinated by God. You see that huge leap of logic? Dont know what I was thinking, lol. I mean, if im born handicapped in some way, I can still choose to not bear false witness, or to bear false witness, to sin or not sin. Thats simply the kind of free will I believe in.
I like to credit
wondering for playing a part by showing me some scriptures challenging my ideas. The final straw was when I read someone make a rather mocking (yet accurate question) statement: If God is the one who saves people and grants them faith, why doesnt God make every saved person a calvinist? <- Thats a good question aint it? Why would God grant someone faith in the free will heresy if it aint so? And thats what most Christians believe. In fact, all except calvinists do believe in universal atonement.
Sorry to go on a rant, I will get back to topic now. SORRY!!