[__ Prayer __] attitude of gratitude, npd

[Angel]

I'll pray God will give you confidence in what to do.

 

[Christ_empowered]

how do you deal with your residual hallucinations? do you have any?

Sometimes I wish they had actual asylums...just a place out away from society where one could go and be alone, away from the world. I think my parents' house is about as close as I'm ever gonna get.

 

[Angel]

I'm not sure what you mean by residual hallucinations.

 

[Christ_empowered]

i mean voices and such that remain, despite being on meds for a while. There's probably a better, more accurate term for that...I just don't know what it is, lol...

 

[Jesus_Is_His_Name]

Thanks for being so honest. That's the way to start to change. You can't change while in denial.
Praying for ya.

In denial about what???

 

[Christ_empowered]

--sigh-- gotte keep repeating myself. Thanks, Jesus_is_His_Name.

 

[Jesus_Is_His_Name]

that's one thing i can't stand about Mental Health, Inc...they label people without anything to back it up (brain scans, blood work, etc.), and then if you disagree...you're in denial, or you're too sick to have insight, blah blah blah.

I mean, I take my Rx treatments, no big thing...I do better on meds than I do off, so its a rational decision...but I think the diagnoses are subjective, especially when you move from what they call "mental illnesses" to what they term "personality disorders." Who decides what a healthy, normal personality is? What if the person/patient is just having a rough time, or doesn't like the "expert" they're dealing with?

--sigh--

My official diagnosis is still (I think...) Bipolar I. The big problem is recurrent depression that, when it gets bad enough, involves voices and agitation. Another thing I don't like...I have on my record an episode of "severe, psychotic mania," but at that point in my life...I had serious physical health problems. I was malnourished, stressed out, hadn't been sleeping, had a poor relationship with my family, etc...so there were physical, non-psychiatric factors, plus the psychosocial problems, and...one set of doctors called it some kind of psychotic episode because of "severe npd." Apparently, they think I'm so NPD that I turn psychotic. The other doctors think its severe bipolar disorder, because some people labeled with bipolar disorder do experience psychosis now and then.

Who is right and who is wrong? They can spin it to match their diagnosis. Right now, people around here have basically voted me Schizophrenic (ahhh, group think), which in my case isn't a "diagnosis" so much as it is a role, a condemnation, an invalidation. "Move out into a trailer park if ya dont like round here!" Because...they labeled me "Schizophrenic." See where I'm going with this?

Can't complain too much. My people are now higher status (not rich, but...comfy, Praise God...) and they've forgiven me, so they're protecting me. I don't take much of their $$$, but I am thankful that they're higher status because I have a layer of protection from a cruel, harsh, hostile community...and the "professionals" from back in the day who would do horrible things to me (again) given the opportunity.

You know how mental health ppl will talk about how homeless people need treatment? I agree...some of them probably could do reasonably well on Rx treatments (plus adequate and safe housing, of course....), but...sometimes, Mental Health, Inc. --creates-- victims, too. At the 1st hospital I was in (private, over priced, rip off), the "treatment team" wanted to put me--age 20, freshly electroshocked, weak, etc.--into a homeless shelter. Because that's "therapeutic," apparently. My parents refused, and that's part of the reason these "professionals" went after me. Its about power, control, labeling, etc. "Help" ? I dunno about all that...

Did you happen to see the thread I put up? Pigs in The Parlor? Did you read my mini testimony about my dysfunctional family, mental illness and schizophrenia? As I read some of your threads, you pretty much keep reiterating. Remember when we come to Christ, these things are no longer and we must lay them to rest once and for all! When God delivered me from this, I mentally said and wrote on the epitaph, R.I.P.! The only time I speak of this is, using this as part of my testimony of God's Faithfulness! I didn't need meds! I went cold turkey because I put my entire trust in God! I've been living a normal life ever since! That in itself is a living testimony!

 

[Jesus_Is_His_Name]

John 8:36
If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

The Bible is the #1 Best Seller in the world! And surely, the AUTHOR needs no introduction! Forget about American Express "Don't leave home without it"! So they say! I always say, "The Bible" don't leave home without it!

 

[Christ_empowered]

I saw your post on Pigs in The Parlor a bit after my last post, lol. Its beginning to dawn on me that I really am a new creation in Christ Jesus. Jesus has even taken care of some physical problems, so that makes it a lot easier for me to believe in Him and to believe Scripture.

Thanks for your posts.

 

[Jesus_Is_His_Name]

I saw your post on Pigs in The Parlor a bit after my last post, lol. Its beginning to dawn on me that I really am a new creation in Christ Jesus. Jesus has even taken care of some physical problems, so that makes it a lot easier for me to believe in Him and to believe Scripture.

Thanks for your posts.

I know it is easier said than done. However, When the Lord said "It Is Finished" that is exactly what it means! God makes no mistakes. We must not dwell on things that already happen! We keep moving forward! We are all in this race together! The Lord knows who belongs to Him!

Matthew 24:13
But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

 

[Angel]

Its more a sense of paranoia than hallucinations that bother me. Yesterday and today I've been hearing ,"Your dead/Your going to die" to which I say to my self... "I'm alive." When I get paranoid and I don't move to cope then I really start hallucinating and it gets out of control. I know my triggers, and I know how to help myself cope so I don't go nuts. Does that answer?