sufferingUSMC
Member
Many of you have probably read my prayer request. I thank you all from the bottom of my aching heart. I want to switch gears and go into a story about the start to our 2013.
On Christmas Eve 2012, my father called to tell me mom was sick and he was taking her to the hospital. He was 72, she 65. He called me later that night and said they have air lifted her to another hospital in Buffalo, NY. I live in NC and told him I was on my way. He asked me to wait until an ice storm came and went, I agreed.
He called me early Christmas morning and said she had stage 4 brain cancer. They were operating that night. I was able to talk to her and she also asked me to wait until after the ice storm came and left. I regretfully agreed.
My wife and I went to Kmart that afternoon and purchased stuff for the trip as we were leaving at 4am the next morning. Dad called me while we were there, said mom was getting ready for surgery and he was scared. I told him how strong he was and how much I loved them both. He told me he was getting sick and had some chest pains. I told him to see the doctor. He said he would if it got bad. He was a cancer survivor himself, but with one lung, diabetes and heart disease, he needed to be careful.
Night came and my wife and I laid down early. At 1130 pm I got a call from dad, he was vomiting, crying and alone as he went to stay at a hotel. He said my sister was coming to get him. (I should have called 911 but 700 miles away, it didnt occur to me. A half hour later I received a call from my sister, dad was dying. I woke my wife up and we immediatley left.
We drove to Greensboro NC and I tried to catch a flight to Buffalo, but the lady at the front wold not let me budge, she simply replied "the line starts back there". Out came an announcment 15 minutes later, flight was full, next flight is at noon. We took off, I drove fast but safe and arrived in Buffalo a little after noon. When I arrived I was told dad was on life support on floor 4, 3 rooms down from my mother recovering from her brain surgery. When I could not see dad, but was able to see mom in the ICU, she smiled at me and said someone down the hall keeps dying. I couldnt tell her it was dad. A doctor soon came in and told us she was moving to floor 7. When we moved, the doctor told her that dad was there, she didnt cry. Just stared at me. Soon after, her cancer doc came in and he repeated the prognosis, 5 weeks to a year. He met with me outside and said she had 4 brain tumors, and 1 tumor on each kidney, the liver, stomach and lung. I am beside myself at this point. I kissed her cheek and went back to the waiting room on floor 4 with my siblings.
My little brother was a security contractor in Iraq and I was keeping him up to date. I went into the bathroom alone and completely lost all composure.... I pleaded with God and told him I understood he was in control but wished for just one more time for all of us to see and talk to dad. A feeling of slight comfort came and I felt I needed to run the show and keep the family together. I did so with his help.
We finally got to see dad, swollen, white and unresponsive except for eye wiggles at the sounds of our voices. I held his hand and sobbed. I met with the nurse and she explained all of his organs have shut down, and they were slowly trying to come back but he is suffering internal bleeding as well.
For 3 days we camped in the waiting room with no change from dad, but an optomistic and seemingly faithful mother on floor 7. My little brother was due in via red cross message the next morning. I drove to pick him up and we came back. We prayed for just one more talk with dad.
The doc came upstairs to moms room while I was there and told her it was time to sign a DNR (do not resuscitate) because each time he died and they brought him back, they were causing damage and the outlook was he would be gone by morning. She regretable signed.
What happened in the hours that followed was, a miracle. I received a call to come to dads room. I thought it was over. I went alone and stood outside the room. His eyes were open and I saw my father for the first time. To not overwhelm him, I only allowed 3 people at a time in to see him. And then wheeled mom down in a wheelchair. "I love you always and forever" she said to him.
Mom was discharged that night, her new insurance policy refused anymore stays, but we couldnt go home, so I paid for a hotel room directly across the street. I went and filled moms prescriptions and made her comfortbale there while we tended to dad and his fight. The next morning I received a phone call at around 5 from the nurse dad was sitting up and off the breathing machine and on only a mask. They were still doing dialysis and trying to get organs back to full function. My little brother and I walked over to see him. He looked happy to see us. He couldnt talk so we got a pen and paper from the nurse and wrote out the alphabet and tried to communicate by pointing to letters, it didnt work. He called for the pen and scribbled one word.... GOD.... I repeated it to him and he nodded his head "yes". All was looking good.
I had to leave on Saturday to return to my job in NC. For mom radiation and chemo, I got her set up at a cancer house a bloc, away for $25 a night, my older bro paid this. Saturday came and we went in to see dad one more time. He was sitting up, no mask on and making his usual jokes. When we came in he smiled and told us all about how much he loved each of us. No questions about what was going on, no comments about pain or being worried, just about love. We left with high hopes and heavy hearts. I kissed mom and him goodbye and we drove home.
I left on a plane to Illinoise for work on Monday Jan 14. I kept in touch with mom all week, on Friday Jan 18, I received a call from her while laying over in Chicago airport, dad had an infection and they had to do emergency surgery. She said she gave them the ok and she would call me to let me know. I landed in Charlotte at 730 pm Jan 18, I turned my phone on and had a voicemail, it was mom. When I called back, she told me dad had passed at 715. My wife drove home while I wept. I called my little bro who was back in Iraq on Skype. He was awoken about 715 our time by a firm hand on his shoulder, On our plane ride, we hit turbulance about 15 minutes before we landed. We believe this was dad saying goodbye.
She said she knew he was kept alive long enough for her to finish radiation and return home safely, he passed 13 hours after she kissed him goodbay enad said she'd be ok and come see him when she could. The night she got home was when she recieved the call he had went under once more.
At present mom is doing well and I carry that paper from when dad wrote GOD. What a time that was.
My recent prayer request was worded the way it was because the comfort and mediation I felt from God then, is missing from my current struggle. I know God is real because my dad said so after being revived 7 times. I firmly believe he was calm because someone explained to him on the other side, what was about to happen. I dont question his existance, Im just emotionally distraught now and find it hard to cope. I wonder if its all connected somehow.
I have no tears left. But know that God is real should you ever doubt.
On Christmas Eve 2012, my father called to tell me mom was sick and he was taking her to the hospital. He was 72, she 65. He called me later that night and said they have air lifted her to another hospital in Buffalo, NY. I live in NC and told him I was on my way. He asked me to wait until an ice storm came and went, I agreed.
He called me early Christmas morning and said she had stage 4 brain cancer. They were operating that night. I was able to talk to her and she also asked me to wait until after the ice storm came and left. I regretfully agreed.
My wife and I went to Kmart that afternoon and purchased stuff for the trip as we were leaving at 4am the next morning. Dad called me while we were there, said mom was getting ready for surgery and he was scared. I told him how strong he was and how much I loved them both. He told me he was getting sick and had some chest pains. I told him to see the doctor. He said he would if it got bad. He was a cancer survivor himself, but with one lung, diabetes and heart disease, he needed to be careful.
Night came and my wife and I laid down early. At 1130 pm I got a call from dad, he was vomiting, crying and alone as he went to stay at a hotel. He said my sister was coming to get him. (I should have called 911 but 700 miles away, it didnt occur to me. A half hour later I received a call from my sister, dad was dying. I woke my wife up and we immediatley left.
We drove to Greensboro NC and I tried to catch a flight to Buffalo, but the lady at the front wold not let me budge, she simply replied "the line starts back there". Out came an announcment 15 minutes later, flight was full, next flight is at noon. We took off, I drove fast but safe and arrived in Buffalo a little after noon. When I arrived I was told dad was on life support on floor 4, 3 rooms down from my mother recovering from her brain surgery. When I could not see dad, but was able to see mom in the ICU, she smiled at me and said someone down the hall keeps dying. I couldnt tell her it was dad. A doctor soon came in and told us she was moving to floor 7. When we moved, the doctor told her that dad was there, she didnt cry. Just stared at me. Soon after, her cancer doc came in and he repeated the prognosis, 5 weeks to a year. He met with me outside and said she had 4 brain tumors, and 1 tumor on each kidney, the liver, stomach and lung. I am beside myself at this point. I kissed her cheek and went back to the waiting room on floor 4 with my siblings.
My little brother was a security contractor in Iraq and I was keeping him up to date. I went into the bathroom alone and completely lost all composure.... I pleaded with God and told him I understood he was in control but wished for just one more time for all of us to see and talk to dad. A feeling of slight comfort came and I felt I needed to run the show and keep the family together. I did so with his help.
We finally got to see dad, swollen, white and unresponsive except for eye wiggles at the sounds of our voices. I held his hand and sobbed. I met with the nurse and she explained all of his organs have shut down, and they were slowly trying to come back but he is suffering internal bleeding as well.
For 3 days we camped in the waiting room with no change from dad, but an optomistic and seemingly faithful mother on floor 7. My little brother was due in via red cross message the next morning. I drove to pick him up and we came back. We prayed for just one more talk with dad.
The doc came upstairs to moms room while I was there and told her it was time to sign a DNR (do not resuscitate) because each time he died and they brought him back, they were causing damage and the outlook was he would be gone by morning. She regretable signed.
What happened in the hours that followed was, a miracle. I received a call to come to dads room. I thought it was over. I went alone and stood outside the room. His eyes were open and I saw my father for the first time. To not overwhelm him, I only allowed 3 people at a time in to see him. And then wheeled mom down in a wheelchair. "I love you always and forever" she said to him.
Mom was discharged that night, her new insurance policy refused anymore stays, but we couldnt go home, so I paid for a hotel room directly across the street. I went and filled moms prescriptions and made her comfortbale there while we tended to dad and his fight. The next morning I received a phone call at around 5 from the nurse dad was sitting up and off the breathing machine and on only a mask. They were still doing dialysis and trying to get organs back to full function. My little brother and I walked over to see him. He looked happy to see us. He couldnt talk so we got a pen and paper from the nurse and wrote out the alphabet and tried to communicate by pointing to letters, it didnt work. He called for the pen and scribbled one word.... GOD.... I repeated it to him and he nodded his head "yes". All was looking good.
I had to leave on Saturday to return to my job in NC. For mom radiation and chemo, I got her set up at a cancer house a bloc, away for $25 a night, my older bro paid this. Saturday came and we went in to see dad one more time. He was sitting up, no mask on and making his usual jokes. When we came in he smiled and told us all about how much he loved each of us. No questions about what was going on, no comments about pain or being worried, just about love. We left with high hopes and heavy hearts. I kissed mom and him goodbye and we drove home.
I left on a plane to Illinoise for work on Monday Jan 14. I kept in touch with mom all week, on Friday Jan 18, I received a call from her while laying over in Chicago airport, dad had an infection and they had to do emergency surgery. She said she gave them the ok and she would call me to let me know. I landed in Charlotte at 730 pm Jan 18, I turned my phone on and had a voicemail, it was mom. When I called back, she told me dad had passed at 715. My wife drove home while I wept. I called my little bro who was back in Iraq on Skype. He was awoken about 715 our time by a firm hand on his shoulder, On our plane ride, we hit turbulance about 15 minutes before we landed. We believe this was dad saying goodbye.
She said she knew he was kept alive long enough for her to finish radiation and return home safely, he passed 13 hours after she kissed him goodbay enad said she'd be ok and come see him when she could. The night she got home was when she recieved the call he had went under once more.
At present mom is doing well and I carry that paper from when dad wrote GOD. What a time that was.
My recent prayer request was worded the way it was because the comfort and mediation I felt from God then, is missing from my current struggle. I know God is real because my dad said so after being revived 7 times. I firmly believe he was calm because someone explained to him on the other side, what was about to happen. I dont question his existance, Im just emotionally distraught now and find it hard to cope. I wonder if its all connected somehow.
I have no tears left. But know that God is real should you ever doubt.
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