yeah, you're hopefully correct. i need to read news and analysis...somewhere else...
ugh. bummer of a day, with all the taunting and such. but...there have been good moments, too. what's the saying? He won't put any more on us than we can bear? its from NT Scripture, but the verse escapes me, at the moment.
the bullying is never ending. i know, it sounds like im hearing voices. the only voices i hear are real ones...that and the insults from a past before Jesus, etc. ugh.
thing is...honestly, especially now that Christ has saved me, set me free, and made me a whole new person, even physically...
I don't feel so ashamed or anything. Truth? I always kinda just assumed somehow, I'd be healthy and OK, one day. 8 years ago, Jesus took compassion on me, and I got genuinely saved, and now...
wow. God is Good. Matthew 6:33 .
not that my life is perfect. ugh. stigma. it isn't just the south or red states or this zipcode or...blah blah blah...and, honestly, the more The Lord wills to bless my parents and me, the more I change for the better, in Christ (read: less me, more Him, not always an easy or even process...), the more...
static. from the broad road. and...warmth, from my parents. and other Christians, thank goodness.
rambling. The more I think about it, the more I think I just need...deliverance, somehow. could be infinitely worse than this, but...I get tired of the taunting. when I first moved in, this one man, he'd taunt me face to face. I guess he thought he could pick a fight, beat me up? i brushed it off. then...I didn't see him around so much, then I saw him, on a construction crew, building a new store (chain kinda deal). I was...less angry, then. he has to work -hard- to live here. for all i know, he might be in one of the business-owned places...they put a couple workers in there, then move them when it's time. I think there's one (2?) in the building next to me, maybe. moving on...
i was a mega-weakling, on the broad road. seriously. sin, satan, self, and the world. i got blamed for most of it, all of it sometimes...even stuff that was -done to me- became my fault, somehow, because 'he made poor life choices' or 'he went off his medication' or 'he should have just killed himself. can't handle the pressure...'
and now? well, the world doesn't budge. if anything, things will wax worse, just wait. that's what Scripture says, anyway. but Jesus has seen fit to save me, so now I'm "...in the world, but not of it..."
this isn't terrible. I've been thru worse, worse could be happening. Its just...a non-stop, rough reminder of the world I was called out of, the old me, the 'way the world works,' etc...
I Praise The Lord for His (genuine) Goodness.