S
skyhigh
Guest
Up until about the start of 2016, I was right into Buddhism. From the early ninetees I had been hooked by new age meditation.
It did help. I learnt how to monitor my own reactions to other people. It was like getting free counselling. Except you became your own counsellor. I learn more self-awareness in regard to emotions and thoughts.
I became more aware of my breathing, how central breathing is to our life.
But gradually I noticed a superficiality to it. And there was a sneaking suspicion that I was starting to worship myself, my own ability to solve all my own issues. I didn't feel the same warmth entering a Buddhist Temple or meeting other Buddhists to hear the Dhama. (teaching) It was helpful but it was cold too. I missed the warmth of a Christian Church. I missed home.
So I came home. But this time I had a new determination. I would try to understand more my own faith. I would not become a cafeteria catholic. I would study the Bible harder. I would work harder on a real relationship with God, not a half-hearted one.
I am still learning to surrender daily. My self-sufficiency ego is still there but I pray that God will cure me of that pride and point me in the direction he wants me to go. Who knows. Coming on to this forum may be the wrong direction. I am still searching and that search will not stop. I try for it not to be all about me, but narcissism still lingers. I'm a sinner just trying to minimise sins
Lord, Jesus Christ help me to be transformed through and in you. Lead me not into temptation and deliver me from evil. Amen.
It did help. I learnt how to monitor my own reactions to other people. It was like getting free counselling. Except you became your own counsellor. I learn more self-awareness in regard to emotions and thoughts.
I became more aware of my breathing, how central breathing is to our life.
But gradually I noticed a superficiality to it. And there was a sneaking suspicion that I was starting to worship myself, my own ability to solve all my own issues. I didn't feel the same warmth entering a Buddhist Temple or meeting other Buddhists to hear the Dhama. (teaching) It was helpful but it was cold too. I missed the warmth of a Christian Church. I missed home.
So I came home. But this time I had a new determination. I would try to understand more my own faith. I would not become a cafeteria catholic. I would study the Bible harder. I would work harder on a real relationship with God, not a half-hearted one.
I am still learning to surrender daily. My self-sufficiency ego is still there but I pray that God will cure me of that pride and point me in the direction he wants me to go. Who knows. Coming on to this forum may be the wrong direction. I am still searching and that search will not stop. I try for it not to be all about me, but narcissism still lingers. I'm a sinner just trying to minimise sins
Lord, Jesus Christ help me to be transformed through and in you. Lead me not into temptation and deliver me from evil. Amen.