Can a Christian Love Too Much?

[Susannah]

Is it possible for a Christian to love too much? Yes and no. You cannot love God too much, but you can love your neighbor too much.
The whole concept of loving too much comes from the book, “Women Who Love Too Much,” by Robin Norwood. It was applauded in the self-help community and banned in many Christian communities. There has been a controversy ever since.
Loving too much applies to relationships that should be reciprocal such as marriage. Let me offer you some guidelines regarding this.
You are loving too much when you lose yourself in a relationship to the point where you no longer exist as a separate child of God.
You are loving too much when you neglect your children in pursuit of pleasing your partner.
You are loving too much when you have no love left for God.
You are loving too much when you put your life in danger for the sake of love.
You are loving too much when you stay loyal to an abusive partner.
You are loving too much when you really believe is it you Christian...

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[Truthfrees]

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loving too much using our human love usually comes from a need to be loved and earn love

loving with God's love and wisdom bypasses the human weakness of human conditional love - we love others because God loves them and we are really just a messenger of God's love - with no thought of reciprocation - because our reciprocation comes from God

imo using God's love and God's wisdom in loving people produces good fruit in our lives and the lives of others around us

using our own love and the human motivations for loving others usually ends up in co-dependent situations and everyone gets at least a little messed up as a result

 

[humble soul]

loving too much using our human love usually comes from a need to be loved and earn love

loving with God's love and wisdom bypasses the human weakness of human conditional love - we love others because God loves them and we are really just a messenger of God's love - with no thought of reciprocation - because our reciprocation comes from God

imo using God's love and God's wisdom in loving people produces good fruit in our lives and the lives of others around us

using our own love and the human motivations for loving others usually ends up in co-dependent situations and everyone gets at least a little messed up as a result

thats a useful answer .
thanks

 

[humble soul]

truthfrees
my only concern would be that we cant be certain we are actually passing on Gods love instead of our own

 

[Susannah]

To know where the love is coming from we must look first to our motivations. We can ask ourselves questions. Is the motive to buy love or to give love? Are we trying to get attention for our love by bragging about it. Are we confusing romantic love with agape.

 

[humble soul]

its all about self awareness I admit. But who can say they are 100% self aware?

 

[Susannah]

To know where the love is coming from we must look first to our motivations. We can ask ourselves questions. Is the motive to buy love or to give love? Are we trying to get attention for our love by bragging about it? Are we confusing romantic love with agape.? Does our love lead to something good or to a dysfunctional relationship. Jesus said do not throw pearls before swine, so he would back away from codependent love. We should follow his lead.

 

[Truthfrees]

truthfrees
my only concern would be that we cant be certain we are actually passing on Gods love instead of our own

hmmm - good point -

i made lots of mistakes when i used my love rather than God's -

let me think about how God taught me the difference between the 2 kinds of love

praying - will get back when i have something useful to say

 

[Truthfrees]

To know where the love is coming from we must look first to our motivations. We can ask ourselves questions. Is the motive to buy love or to give love? Are we trying to get attention for our love by bragging about it? Are we confusing romantic love with agape.? Does our love lead to something good or to a dysfunctional relationship. Jesus said do not throw pearls before swine, so he would back away from codependent love. We should follow his lead.

amen - i guess that is what God showed me about my love - it was somehow about me rather than the other person

also my love was fickle - iow if i got hurt too badly the love turned sour - so i was somehow too invested in the process

when i learned to use God's love i was not invested - i loved because God loved - if the person did not deserve love that was ok because neither did i

also my love was easily fooled - people took advantage of me because i was always giving love and stuff with no wisdom - God's love is wise and gives generously those things that bring people to truth and peace - my love made me feel good about myself

using God's love made me feel good about God - and gave me the deep knowledge that God loved me

 

[Truthfrees]

To know where the love is coming from we must look first to our motivations. We can ask ourselves questions. Is the motive to buy love or to give love? Are we trying to get attention for our love by bragging about it? Are we confusing romantic love with agape.? Does our love lead to something good or to a dysfunctional relationship. Jesus said do not throw pearls before swine, so he would back away from codependent love. We should follow his lead.

amen - i guess that is what God showed me about my love - it was somehow about me rather than the other person

also my love was fickle - iow if i got hurt too badly the love turned sour - so i was somehow too invested in the process

when i learned to use God's love i was not invested - i loved because God loved - if the person did not deserve love that was ok because neither did i

also my love was easily fooled - people took advantage of me because i was always giving love and stuff with no wisdom - God's love is wise and gives generously those things that bring people to truth and peace -

my love made me feel good about myself - using God's love made me feel good about God - and gave me the deep knowledge that God loved me