CAN I REMARRY....PLEASE HELP?

[1corinthians]

Hello everyone....I am desperately seeking christian advice for my situation that I am in. I got married a few years ago and have 3 children with this man. He cheated on me and I left for a little while and then returned home to give our marriage a second chance. I am a christian...he is not. I told him if he cheats again I will have to leave him for good. Well last year he cheated again. I told him to pack his things and leave and decided we get a divorce. I haven't gotten a divorce yet because I can't afford it at the moment. But since he's been gone....I made a huge mistake and got intimate with another man. Am I in the wrong now? Am I not allowed to remarry now??? I want a divorce....i just couldnt afford it. When I told my husband to leave....in my eyes we were no longer together and he broke the covenant and defiled the marriage bed. Someone please help....am I allowed to remarry? Thanks

 

[Knotical]

This is really a two-fold question considering you need to be divorced in the eyes of the church, and the eyes of the state. Currently, there could be an argument made for being divorced in the eyes of the church, but not yet in the eyes of the state.

Of course it is a sin to have relations outside of marriage, but you obviously have a repentant heart and should you ask for forgiveness God will grant it. That being said, you should still go through the steps to get a divorce from your current husband as it is illegal to marry someone else while you are still married.

I would be remiss if I did not at least advise you to try and reconcile with your current husband, but if this is not something that is possible, then of course you should get a divorce and move on with your life.

 

[farouk]

Hello everyone....I am desperately seeking christian advice for my situation that I am in. I got married a few years ago and have 3 children with this man. He cheated on me and I left for a little while and then returned home to give our marriage a second chance. I am a christian...he is not. I told him if he cheats again I will have to leave him for good. Well last year he cheated again. I told him to pack his things and leave and decided we get a divorce. I haven't gotten a divorce yet because I can't afford it at the moment. But since he's been gone....I made a huge mistake and got intimate with another man. Am I in the wrong now? Am I not allowed to remarry now??? I want a divorce....i just couldnt afford it. When I told my husband to leave....in my eyes we were no longer together and he broke the covenant and defiled the marriage bed. Someone please help....am I allowed to remarry? Thanks

lisa:

I'm really sorry to read of your situation.

Why not read the various passages in the Gospels which relate to this sort of matter. You could follow them through with a concordance or with an Online search engine.

It wouldn't be kind of folk simply to tell you than what you are doing is 'fine', simply in order for you to 'feel better'.

You know, there's an even bigger issue that one's relationship with one's spouse, one's relationship with one's children, vitally important though these are.

It's one's relationship with God. God as He is revealed in His Holy Word. God in Christ, the Savior and one day the Judge.

I hope that the Word will guide and bless you.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

Hello everyone....I am desperately seeking christian advice for my situation that I am in. I got married a few years ago and have 3 children with this man. He cheated on me and I left for a little while and then returned home to give our marriage a second chance. I am a christian...he is not. I told him if he cheats again I will have to leave him for good. Well last year he cheated again. I told him to pack his things and leave and decided we get a divorce. I haven't gotten a divorce yet because I can't afford it at the moment. But since he's been gone....I made a huge mistake and got intimate with another man. Am I in the wrong now? Am I not allowed to remarry now??? I want a divorce....i just couldnt afford it. When I told my husband to leave....in my eyes we were no longer together and he broke the covenant and defiled the marriage bed. Someone please help....am I allowed to remarry? Thanks

There is no irrevocable ban on divorce, nor is it unforgivable. The important thing for you to do is to seek God's forgiveness. I wouldn't, however, let our husband know about it unless he asks, then you must tell the truth. However, as he is not a Christian and will be looking for advantage over you, he will use the information to take your children or avoid child support. Beware. Seek forgiveness, 86 the boyfriend, and seek out help in reconciling with the husband, or, failing that, engage Legal Aid to end the marriage. Those are your choices. I pray God helps you make the right decision, and you can move on with your life.

 

[Sparkey]

Google will help you find information for the state that you live in. If, for instance, you lived in New Jersey and you typed "New Jersey Self-help Divorce" you would be given several links.

One of them would be to the New Jersey Represent Yourself in Court (Pro Se): Self-Help Resource Center

From there, navigate about 1/2 way down the page to the Family Division section and look for "Divorce". You should also be able to find "Tips for Completing and Filing Court Forms" and links to "Legal Services" in the area.

You should note that given your current status, no, you may not remarry. If you were to remarry before you were divorced the "new marriage" would be empty and subject to annulment, meaning it never happened in the eyes of the law. I hope you find this helpful as that is my only intent. Others have already responded to advise prayerful consideration and I won't assume that you've not already done that or that you are not currently doing this.

Cordially,
Sparrowhawke

 

[dinoguy]

I take your question re whether you can remarry to mean you are asking whether God would allow it after you are legally divorced.
Yes, you can remarry. God does not hate you or wish you to spend your life alone just because you were weak once.
Please excuse me if I misunderstood your question.

 

[Mitspa]

I would say that this issue of divorce, is covered in the scriptures in a way that we all should understand that it is Gods first will that we do all to keep the covenant of marriage. Now beyond what is clearly written, one should take caution to answer to the Spirit of God that abides in us all who are born again. We all know very well that the lust and passions of the flesh will draw us into such relationships that are not in harmony with the standard as to keep our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit. I think one should have this as the first great concern, and be very careful not to allow our flesh to draw us into lust. Having said that which is true, and right each believer will and must answer to God, with their own conscience. FOR I SHALL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE, THEY SHALL NOT NEED EVERY MAN TO TEACH THEM SAYING KNOW THE LORD, FOR ALL SHALL KNOW ME FROM THE LEAST TO THE GREATEST SAITH THE LORD.
Now I would suggest that one in this condition, stop all contact with others of the sexual nature, and seek to know the will of God through earnest prayer. If one does not have the ability of themselves to hear the Spirit or to control their own desires? They should ask and pray that God would bring another one of His servants to help them in their battle.
Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.
But we should be willing to be corrected and bring the light of truth upon any darkenss that we have been walking in.
Eph 5:13

Whatever mistakes we have made, if we bring them to Christ, He will make all our darkness into light.

Our very mistakes are turned into those things that help others, when we trust in Him.