I was date-raped as a virgin. It upset me so I became promiscuous out of anger at God. I told no one about the rape and let it happen again by the same man twenty years later. He was my best friend in high school. In 1968, I got kidnapped and raped again and got pregnant. I blamed myself for being out after dark.
What I have learned in counseling, is that it was not my fault. Nothing I did should give someone the right to rape me.
Once I forgave myself, I got angry and disliked men for awhile. It took me awhile to give them another chance.
I identify with the struggle to put rape behind us. There is life after rape. It is not the worst thing that has happened to me, and it did not destroy my life like it does with some men and women, but it did spoil some things for me. I stopped enjoying sex and to this day am asexual. (I say men and women because I have a male friend who was raped by his basketball team members in the locker room.)
What helped me the most was helping other women get through their own experiences. It took the sting out of what happened to me because now I could say to myself that something good came out of the experience. That is something anyway.
I hope this testimony helps at least one person . . .
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