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Christian and Single;

S

Samanta

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I've been single for 3 years now, and I have only had one serious boyfriend(I'm only 20 years old).
But lately I've been feeling so lonely - I swear its the season of relationships! Every coffee shop, store even school I see couples after couples.
I've been crushing on two fantastic, Christian boys but guess what? They are both taken :gah

I'm not meaning to be all "poor me" on here, I would just really appreciate some words of encouragement.

Now time for the Taylor Swift music............... :lol
 
I'm kinda in the same lonely boat right now :sad.

The only words of encouragement i can give you is that if it is God's will, He will provide, at a time when He sees best for you. He knows the big picture.
 
I totally get what you mean! It seems like everyone is pairing up right now. Everywhere I go its like their all trying to shove it in my face. lol But when its meant to happen, it will<3
 
The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit:
1 Cor 7:34
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn(lust for).
1 Cor 7:9
Nevertheless he(or she) that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin(single), doeth well.
1 Cor 7:37

God know those that are sincere toward Him, and He knows our heart, them that are in need of companionship.
 
I am in the same boat. I almost got married earlier in the year but God put an end to our relationship. She was not saved and told me "I do not want to marry a preacher". I am looking for a serious girlfriend because as a preacher, I am looking to get married and settle down quickly. Besides, most of the things people do while "dating" cannot be done by a Christian. Anyway, good luck to you.
 
I'm giving my $0.02 worth in a different fashion, with a sad story. I met a lady when she was only 16 and a single mom of an infant who supposedly became a Christian while she was pregnant. When her daughter was about 4 years old, she couldn't stand it any more. God wasn't bringing a man into her life so she decided to take the reins into her own hands.

She slipped back into her old lifestyle, met this studly guy in a local bar, slept with him and had her second and third daughters with him, all the while putting up with his violent physical abuse and emotional manipulation after he shacked up with her. Her impatience with God has nearly destroyed her life and that of several others.

She's now lost custody of her daughters and lives in a homeless shelter. Her boyfriend is now fighting the lady's parents for custody of the three girls in a long and costly legal battle.

The moral of the story: don't give in during a time of weakness to some smooth-talking guy, ESPECIALLY if he's a non-Christian!!!!! And if he claims to be a Christian, take your time to find out whether it's genuine or not. Consulting an older Christian lady who you respect and can trust that appears to have good wisdom is your best bet; they'll know the integrity of a guy you introduce them to within the first two minutes, guaranteed! If he doesn't want to be examined/scrutinized by others, he's insecure and has something to hide, and you don't want that kind of baggage in a relationship.

Hope this warning and advice helps!
 
Just also remeber that the only one in a rush to have things done is you. God's will is always on time because it exists regardless of time. If you seek it knowing it will come when it comes, and if you are ready to live in His will when it does come, then you'll begin to see how all things just make a bit more sense. :)
 
Samanta said:
I've been single for 3 years now, and I have only had one serious boyfriend(I'm only 20 years old).
But lately I've been feeling so lonely - I swear its the season of relationships! Every coffee shop, store even school I see couples after couples.
I've been crushing on two fantastic, Christian boys but guess what? They are both taken :gah

I'm not meaning to be all "poor me" on here, I would just really appreciate some words of encouragement.

Now time for the Taylor Swift music............... :lol
Click to expand...

Words of encouragement? You got it.

Id quote scripture, but I wish to impart something before I do so.

First, what you see and what you need are two different things. Yes, I said need, because the first thing God recognized was not good was Man being alone. I know youre a girl, but stay with me here... ;)

Now, what you need can be found in the Song of Solomon( theres the scripture suggestion!). As a single 22 year old Christian man who in darker days learned far too much of how the world treats relationships, allow me to describe the difference between what you see, and what God has in store for the faithful in this regard( aka what you 'need').

The world values people with relationships, over people who are single.Ever wonder why someone whos taken,guy or girl,finds it easier to attract the opposite sex? Its is based on one foundation-pleasure. Someone in a relationship is 'logically' having more fun in terms of sex and emotional contentment than someone who's single, and as such our society places a high value to people who are in relationships-regardless of kind.

Hence the social pressure to get a man, or for guys to get laid.

The catch of course, is that any relationship based on personal pleasure as a goal is a 'counterfiet' relationship,in that the goal of the parties involved isn't marriage or honoring God-its to seek personal pleasure from the company of the other. Like a fake Rolex watch, it may look good, but its not the real thing-and the real thing starts with a relationship with God.Just like a fake watch, the test of a relationship is adversity-and counterfiet relationships, like a fake watch, break at the first sign of pressure or trouble.

The pieces often involve divorce, single parenthood, and all kinds of ugly fallout too unbelieveable for fiction.

Next time you spot the 'perfect couple' at work, the coffee shop, or the campus library, and you feel that pang of regret at being alone, ask yourself-do you want a counterfiet association, or do you want the real deal from the Creator , who IS the Real Deal?
 
Hi Samanta,


Ive only been out with one girl my whole life and you know what I regret it. Eventhough she was a christian It was my choice not Gods; boy was I wrong. All it took was that one time for me to realize that I will let God pick not myself, I tried doing things my way and well the outcome was awful. I think you are better off being alone and waiting for God than to experience hearbreak after hearbreak.

Its not easy for me I work in a hospital with more than 50 staff in my dept, 90% women. I mind my own business and they still come up to me. I know that they are not the right ones therefore I dont fall for it but I am human and this does get a bit overwhelming for me. I do wonder why I dont meet the right girl but what helps me is that I go to church and pray daily. Im so busy(2 jobs, classes, gym, books etc.) that I dont have much time to thing about the women around me. All of that temptation would end up hurting me so why think about what ifs. I went through college without a gf, im alone as well. Only God gives that happiness we so desperately seek :P he will take away the loneliness if you let him.


Be Happy =]
 
I feel you guys, it just sucks being alone. I'll tell you a lil story about myself. Day after day passed and from where i was young to when i was older around 19 i didn't even have my first kiss, i held the word of the lord very close to my heart and i still do. Not that there is nothing wrong with the kissing, just saying that i held close just finding the right girl for me.

Everysingle minute would by pass without me not thinking about me being alone, i would pray to God and would ask him why was it that i am alone. I have done everything that he asked me to do yet i would just even cry of frustration, the world was looking bleaker and bleaker, not just because of me being alone but other factors in my life were into play.

I tried dating a twice times but they went horrible, maybe because i wasnt trying to be myself, but a shell of me. The me that everyone sees was not the same.

I felt like i was literally going to go insane at this point, i felt like life was just going to keep going that way. The idea of giving up was looking prettier and prettier. I think the only thing that kept me going for 1 year was just my family, just that they needed me.

Then when i was about to just give up, at my darkest moment, she appeared the perfect woman for me
at this point i understood. Looking back, I went through all the hardships to learn what i had to be with her. She was the first woman that i had the courage enough to ask her directly. Because i knew she was the one.

We are enganged we been together for almost 3 years. Hopefully, Ill give someone more strenght to keep going strong. :salute
 
I am 24 years old and haven't had a serious boyfriend yet. I had a 6 month relationship in high school, but I was 16 years old, I don't consider that too serious. When I was 20 I fell in love with someone who was extremely sexually and verbally abusive to me and since then I haven't even been glanced at by a member of the opposite sex. I long to find a man of faith to marry and have children with someday, but it is a struggle to put my faith in God in this matter almost every day. I want to think it is my plan to be a wife and a mother, but that is for God to decide.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am lonely, too.
 
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