Christian dating a confused Christian

[Greggoreus]

I recently started dating my best friend for two years. She knows I'm a serious Christian and I hope she knows my love for the Lord. She is a Christian herself...but I have a suspision that she believes that there is one God...and that's all. She doesn't go to church regularly and she doesn't agree with some things in the Bible (as I did in my past.) We share many of the same morals and I know she would not hinder me from living a holy life.

My question(s) is/are- What is my position in her life as far as bringing her to Christ?
Is it okay that I'm dating someone of this mindset?
How should I go about 'correcting' her?

If you have no answers, please pray that God will give me comfort and assurance that everything in our relationship will work out in the end...whether it's a happy ending or a sad one.

 

[soma]

Do you love her or want to change her? Learn from and her and she will learn from you and together you will grow closer to God. It sounds like you have a lot to learn from her. If you don't want to change yourself and grow then live by yourself or with other narrow minded individuals.

 

[Greggoreus]

I really want her to see the truth. I want to encourage her to seek His face...but I remember when I was in her mindset(ish) I was so uncomftorable talking about it. I guess I still am...I'm not embaressed to tell people I am a Christian but I feel like I don't know enough to be a very good witness.

Anyways...I guess I'm wondering if it's okay to be dating her?

 

[moniker]

Anyways...I guess I'm wondering if it's okay to be dating her?

Why wouldn't it be?

When it comes to differences in dogma I'd rather just not touch on it (with some exceptions) because in the end you are really just arguing over semantics. Others would be more enlightening in that regard.

 

[soma]

She also has some truth to teach you, but you are condecending and want to be right and better than her, not her equal. Wake up before she leaves you to find someone who really wants to seek the truth.

 

[Greggoreus]

Whoa...I'm getting really mixed up here.

Could you please elaborate what you mean? I have little knowledge of 'dogma' and the sort.
Sorry that I don't really know what you mean. Can someone lay it out plain and simple?

:o

 

[413Movement]

I am sort of in the same situation as you. My girlfriend and I both believe that Jesus Christ died and rose again for our sins. But her being raised in a Catholic home that gave up on the church once they started having troubles, there is a lot that she doesn't know or understand. There is a lot that we BOTH still have to learn. She's a bit younger than me and sometimes I can tell she's a bit uncomfortable talking about it, but I was the same way. I don't force anything on her. We talk about things and end up having very good discussions and it brings us so much closer to eachother and in our relationship with Jesus.
If you're concerned about her not believing completely in Christ then talk about it with her. Making assumptions from your suspicions aren't going to do you any good. I find that talking and conversations have better results than lectures. One of the biggest mistakes you can do though is try to correct her. If you care about this person then your position in her life here is to make sure that she knows or finds her position in the next life.

 

[Greggoreus]

All this really helps.

Anyone else have any input?

 

[belovedwolfofgod]

what do you mean by one God? we arent polytheists... do you mean she doesnt believe in the Trinity?

gauge how important it is to you. its not wrong to stick to your guns and want to bring others to it. shows you got conviction. but know your stuff. schedule some time to talk to her about it and take her through the scriptures. after that, just leave it alone. let your fruit prove it. but keep the teachings up front. if she ccomes to it, she comes to it. if your catholic, i can help you out a little more cause i know how to take it from that angle, but... if not, im not really a help.

 

[Greggoreus]

When I said one God I meant the Trinity (technically speaking they're all One)

My mistake. I should have specified.

 

[Lewis]

Through you God will bless her, and she will learn other Biblical truths as she lives on. And you see God can make the right changes in her, just pray and be gentle with her and don't try to force nothing on her, and God will take over. And when God does she will start asking you questions, and then you will know.

 

[Greggoreus]

Through you God will bless her, and she will learn other Biblical truths as she lives on. And you see God can make the right changes in her, just pray and be gentle with her and don't try to force nothing on her, and God will take over. And when God does she will start asking you questions, and then you will know.

So in other words...be the best example I can be, pray for her, and let God do the work?
Oh me of little faith, I always thought I was the one changing their hearts until I realized it was actually God.

Thank you so much.

 

[Lewis]

Yes be the best example that you can be, and she will see and feel the Holy Ghost in you, and she will be drawn to that Spirit. And yes God is the only one that can change the heart.

 

[Mathetes]

All this really helps.

Anyone else have any input?

Yes, I do. The bottom line here, as I see it, is whether she is a Christian. Now I don't mean whether she professes to be a Christian, but rather whether she really is one. According to Scripture (1 John in particular, but there are other passages), the true believer shows the reality and authenticity of his/her conversion by how he/she lives. Does your friend have a desire for holiness? Is she sold out to Christ? Or does she have "one foot in the world" as it were? Note I'm not asking whether she is perfect; no Christian is sinless. But the Bible teaches that a true child of God will have a markedly changed life and a radical change of heart/mind about sin. Does your friend hate sin? Does she love God and show this by pursuing holiness and righteousness fervently?

I'm not trying to sound harsh by saying the above, but in all honesty, choosing a romantic partner is not something to do rashly or without having thought the matter through. So, I would use the above criteria when determining whether she is the kind of person you should be dating.

 

[Lewis]

All this really helps.

Anyone else have any input?

Yes, I do. The bottom line here, as I see it, is whether she is a Christian. Now I don't mean whether she professes to be a Christian, but rather whether she really is one. According to Scripture (1 John in particular, but there are other passages), the true believer shows the reality and authenticity of his/her conversion by how he/she lives. Does your friend have a desire for holiness? Is she sold out to Christ? Or does she have "one foot in the world" as it were? Note I'm not asking whether she is perfect; no Christian is sinless. But the Bible teaches that a true child of God will have a markedly changed life and a radical change of heart/mind about sin. Does your friend hate sin? Does she love God and show this by pursuing holiness and righteousness fervently?

I'm not trying to sound harsh by saying the above, but in all honesty, choosing a romantic partner is not something to do rashly or without having thought the matter through. So, I would use the above criteria when determining whether she is the kind of person you should be dating.

Well she has been the dudes best friend for 2 years. So he knows something about her. And she has to be given a chance to grow in Christ, babes in Christ do what babies do, get my drift. Now even if she does not hate sin at the moment, she has not grown in Christ yet, so that is understandable, and she will love God more as she moves on and gets to know Him. Remember she has to grow.

 

[Lewis]

All this really helps.

Anyone else have any input?

Yes, I do. The bottom line here, as I see it, is whether she is a Christian. Now I don't mean whether she professes to be a Christian, but rather whether she really is one. According to Scripture (1 John in particular, but there are other passages), the true believer shows the reality and authenticity of his/her conversion by how he/she lives. Does your friend have a desire for holiness? Is she sold out to Christ? Or does she have "one foot in the world" as it were? Note I'm not asking whether she is perfect; no Christian is sinless. But the Bible teaches that a true child of God will have a markedly changed life and a radical change of heart/mind about sin. Does your friend hate sin? Does she love God and show this by pursuing holiness and righteousness fervently?

I'm not trying to sound harsh by saying the above, but in all honesty, choosing a romantic partner is not something to do rashly or without having thought the matter through. So, I would use the above criteria when determining whether she is the kind of person you should be dating.

Well she has been the dudes best friend for 2 years. So he knows something about her. And she has to be given a chance to grow in Christ, babes in Christ do what babies do, get my drift. Now even if she does not hate sin at the moment, she has not grown in Christ yet, so that is understandable, and she will love God more as she moves on and gets to know Him. Remember she has to grow.

 

[Mathetes]

All this really helps.

Anyone else have any input?

Yes, I do. The bottom line here, as I see it, is whether she is a Christian. Now I don't mean whether she professes to be a Christian, but rather whether she really is one. According to Scripture (1 John in particular, but there are other passages), the true believer shows the reality and authenticity of his/her conversion by how he/she lives. Does your friend have a desire for holiness? Is she sold out to Christ? Or does she have "one foot in the world" as it were? Note I'm not asking whether she is perfect; no Christian is sinless. But the Bible teaches that a true child of God will have a markedly changed life and a radical change of heart/mind about sin. Does your friend hate sin? Does she love God and show this by pursuing holiness and righteousness fervently?

I'm not trying to sound harsh by saying the above, but in all honesty, choosing a romantic partner is not something to do rashly or without having thought the matter through. So, I would use the above criteria when determining whether she is the kind of person you should be dating.

Well she has been the dudes best friend for 2 years. So he knows something about her.

That's all the better for him. He has had a good, long chance to see what her spiritual life is like.

And she has to be given a chance to grow in Christ, babes in Christ do what babies do, get my drift.

No, actually, I don't. :-? Given what the Bible clearly says about the nature of the believer, I'm not sure what growth has to do with this. More below...

Now even if she does not hate sin at the moment, she has not grown in Christ yet, so that is understandable, and she will love God more as she moves on and gets to know Him. Remember she has to grow.

I agree with some of this, namely, what you said about loving God more as she moves on. However, and don't take this the wrong way, but I think the rest of what you said is strongly suspect because it doesn't line up with Scripture. The Bible does not indicate that a believer in Christ, who is truly born again and converted by God, could possibly not hate sin. For a person to be born again and yet to maintain the same attitude about sin he/she had before conversion is an impossibility according to the Bible. That is why I referenced 1 John in my previous post: that epistle clearly emphasizes the fact that a person who is born of God will display certain traits that mark him as a believer. Here are some Scriptures to ponder:

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says "I know him" but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may be sure that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. (1 John 2:3-6)

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. (1 John 2:9)

If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him. (1 John 2:29)

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. [5] You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. [6] No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. [7] Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righ teousness is righteous, as he is righ teous. [8] Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. [9] No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. [10] By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. (1 John 3:4-10)

By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, [3] and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. (1 John 4:2-3)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. [8] Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world our faith. (1 John 5:4)

We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him. (1 John 5:18)

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:17)

Notice that in all these passages there is not a single reference to the level of maturity of those who profess to be in Christ. It doesn't matter at all whether a person has been born again for a day or a decade. The new life received at regeneration will produce a marked change in a person's life.

Now none of this means that a true believer does not sin. It's clear that John did not intend to teach that the believer is in a state of sinless perfection. This much is clear from the first chapter, where he teaches that we are deceiving ourselves if we say we have no sin and that we should confess our sins. What John is teaching, however, is that those who are born of God will manifest definite signs of life that indicate they have passed from death to life. These are the signs that the gentleman who started this thread should look for. If these signs are not present, he should definitely hold off on any romantic pursuits with this girl.

 

[Mathetes]

All this really helps.

Anyone else have any input?

Yes, I do. The bottom line here, as I see it, is whether she is a Christian. Now I don't mean whether she professes to be a Christian, but rather whether she really is one. According to Scripture (1 John in particular, but there are other passages), the true believer shows the reality and authenticity of his/her conversion by how he/she lives. Does your friend have a desire for holiness? Is she sold out to Christ? Or does she have "one foot in the world" as it were? Note I'm not asking whether she is perfect; no Christian is sinless. But the Bible teaches that a true child of God will have a markedly changed life and a radical change of heart/mind about sin. Does your friend hate sin? Does she love God and show this by pursuing holiness and righteousness fervently?

I'm not trying to sound harsh by saying the above, but in all honesty, choosing a romantic partner is not something to do rashly or without having thought the matter through. So, I would use the above criteria when determining whether she is the kind of person you should be dating.

Well she has been the dudes best friend for 2 years. So he knows something about her.

That's all the better for him. He has had a good, long chance to see what her spiritual life is like.

And she has to be given a chance to grow in Christ, babes in Christ do what babies do, get my drift.

No, actually, I don't. :-? Given what the Bible clearly says about the nature of the believer, I'm not sure what growth has to do with this. More below...

Now even if she does not hate sin at the moment, she has not grown in Christ yet, so that is understandable, and she will love God more as she moves on and gets to know Him. Remember she has to grow.

I agree with some of this, namely, what you said about loving God more as she moves on. However, and don't take this the wrong way, but I think the rest of what you said is strongly suspect because it doesn't line up with Scripture. The Bible does not indicate that a believer in Christ, who is truly born again and converted by God, could possibly not hate sin. For a person to be born again and yet to maintain the same attitude about sin he/she had before conversion is an impossibility according to the Bible. That is why I referenced 1 John in my previous post: that epistle clearly emphasizes the fact that a person who is born of God will display certain traits that mark him as a believer. Here are some Scriptures to ponder:

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says "I know him" but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may be sure that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. (1 John 2:3-6)

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. (1 John 2:9)

If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him. (1 John 2:29)

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. [5] You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. [6] No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. [7] Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righ teousness is righteous, as he is righ teous. [8] Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. [9] No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. [10] By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. (1 John 3:4-10)

By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, [3] and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. (1 John 4:2-3)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. [8] Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world our faith. (1 John 5:4)

We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him. (1 John 5:18)

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:17)

Notice that in all these passages there is not a single reference to the level of maturity of those who profess to be in Christ. It doesn't matter at all whether a person has been born again for a day or a decade. The new life received at regeneration will produce a marked change in a person's life.

Now none of this means that a true believer does not sin. It's clear that John did not intend to teach that the believer is in a state of sinless perfection. This much is clear from the first chapter, where he teaches that we are deceiving ourselves if we say we have no sin and that we should confess our sins. What John is teaching, however, is that those who are born of God will manifest definite signs of life that indicate they have passed from death to life. These are the signs that the gentleman who started this thread should look for. If these signs are not present, he should definitely hold off on any romantic pursuits with this girl.

 

[Bruchko]

I use to be in a relationship where I acknowledged my dependency on God more then the girl I was dating. I felt surely I shouldn't date her and would only claim we were friends for a while. I prayed a lot about it though, and I felt at peace. She's now my wife, and she often challenges me in my spiritual growth these days. Just pray with an open heart, listen, and don't move faster in your relationship with her then her relationship with God is progressing.

 

[Lewis]

All this really helps.

Anyone else have any input?

Yes, I do. The bottom line here, as I see it, is whether she is a Christian. Now I don't mean whether she professes to be a Christian, but rather whether she really is one. According to Scripture (1 John in particular, but there are other passages), the true believer shows the reality and authenticity of his/her conversion by how he/she lives. Does your friend have a desire for holiness? Is she sold out to Christ? Or does she have "one foot in the world" as it were? Note I'm not asking whether she is perfect; no Christian is sinless. But the Bible teaches that a true child of God will have a markedly changed life and a radical change of heart/mind about sin. Does your friend hate sin? Does she love God and show this by pursuing holiness and righteousness fervently?

I'm not trying to sound harsh by saying the above, but in all honesty, choosing a romantic partner is not something to do rashly or without having thought the matter through. So, I would use the above criteria when determining whether she is the kind of person you should be dating.

Well she has been the dudes best friend for 2 years. So he knows something about her.

That's all the better for him. He has had a good, long chance to see what her spiritual life is like.

And she has to be given a chance to grow in Christ, babes in Christ do what babies do, get my drift.

No, actually, I don't. :-? Given what the Bible clearly says about the nature of the believer, I'm not sure what growth has to do with this. More below...

[quote:317a5]Now even if she does not hate sin at the moment, she has not grown in Christ yet, so that is understandable, and she will love God more as she moves on and gets to know Him. Remember she has to grow.

I agree with some of this, namely, what you said about loving God more as she moves on. However, and don't take this the wrong way, but I think the rest of what you said is strongly suspect because it doesn't line up with Scripture. The Bible does not indicate that a believer in Christ, who is truly born again and converted by God, could possibly not hate sin. For a person to be born again and yet to maintain the same attitude about sin he/she had before conversion is an impossibility according to the Bible. That is why I referenced 1 John in my previous post: that epistle clearly emphasizes the fact that a person who is born of God will display certain traits that mark him as a believer. Here are some Scriptures to ponder:

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says "I know him" but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may be sure that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. (1 John 2:3-6)

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. (1 John 2:9)

If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him. (1 John 2:29)

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. [5] You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. [6] No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. [7] Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righ teousness is righteous, as he is righ teous. [8] Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. [9] No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. [10] By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. (1 John 3:4-10)

By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, [3] and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. (1 John 4:2-3)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. [8] Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world our faith. (1 John 5:4)

We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him. (1 John 5:18)

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:17)

Notice that in all these passages there is not a single reference to the level of maturity of those who profess to be in Christ. It doesn't matter at all whether a person has been born again for a day or a decade. The new life received at regeneration will produce a marked change in a person's life.

Now none of this means that a true believer does not sin. It's clear that John did not intend to teach that the believer is in a state of sinless perfection. This much is clear from the first chapter, where he teaches that we are deceiving ourselves if we say we have no sin and that we should confess our sins. What John is teaching, however, is that those who are born of God will manifest definite signs of life that indicate they have passed from death to life. These are the signs that the gentleman who started this thread should look for. If these signs are not present, he should definitely hold off on any romantic pursuits with this girl.[/quote:317a5]
How old are you ? The reason why I asked is because if you were like my age 51, you would know that life is a growing process. Being a born again Christian is a growing process. Because you get stronger in the Lord as you move on, And you learn more about the Lord as you move on. Sometimes even a strong Christian will fall. But you are supposed to get back up, and get back with the Lord.