Lookin4help,
So sorry to see you are having such a dilemma.
Your post sounds so urgent. From one woman to another. I've been married twice and have had some relationships that I ran from and shouldn't have and some that I should have ran from and didn't. Now that I'm in my 50's I'm less inclined to run from someone whose human fault isn't so dire. If your fiancé isn't a Christian I suggest you think about the scripture that says be not unequally yoked.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
If there are so many problems you cannot live with, then I must ask, why stay with a person in which there are so many problems that he is "unwilling" to work out with you? On the other hand, if that is the only problem, then you must think, is he going to turn his back on you in every situation?
Maybe a talk with him about commitment in sticking up for each other would be in order. Have you thought on how to approach the subject differently in a way he might be open too?
Before my fiancé died back in 1998, he put me second to his daughter more than I was comfortable with. IF he didn't die, I know I would not have stayed with him had he continued to humiliate me like that without compromise. He had other faults I could live with but for him to not respect me enough to honor me as his bride to be, over his jumping at every whim of his daughter's, was not something I was prepared to live with for the rest of my life. When a man puts his bride to be in the back seat of a car with someone who could have very well sit up front with his daughter, but rather he sat in the front seat with his daughter, something is not right there. He only did that type of thing to me one time, but beleive me, I wasn't going to put up with another. It was too degrading and disrespectful towards the person who he was supposed to hold in second place only to the Lord, NOT his daughter. He died shortly after that incident so, that was that. God works in strange ways. I'm still single, having a difficult time getting back into long term relationship because I've become too picky. So friendship is the better thing for me right now. I'm praying God will grant me the grace when the right person shows up, flaws and all. I really don't think, at this stage in my life, that I could be in a relationship in which there was no compromise or agreement to work on issue when they came about.
Stubbornness has no place in any relationship because it only breeds pain and resentment. So think about if you are willing to live with someone who refuses to work out problems together. No realtionship goes without problems, but to stuff them as if they will go away is not always the solution. They then have a way of resurrecting themselves until you both finally make a descision to find a resolution to them in which you both agree and stick to.
If your fiancé isn't willing to stick up for you, then you don't really need to break up with him, if a time out will eventually lead to a resolution to your situation. Sometimes, a time out makes a person re-evaluate why there is a time out. If he doesn't trust your word that it's not over his health then what else isn't he going to believe when you tell him one thing and he thinks you aren't being honest about the reason why? If you can't establish complete trust in each others word, let alone having complete support for each other, then why bother marrying him? It might be best to just stay friends and see if you can BUILD TRUST AND SUPPORT for each other.
I suggest you get Dr. Phil's book entitled Relationship first. There are some very good premarital exercises in there to go through before the decision to tie the knot is made. If going by some books isn't for you, have you considered premarital counseling classes with your church?
Until you make up your mind as to what to do, a time out might be a blessing in disguise. It will either draw you closer, or it will reveal there really isn't enough closeness, in the first place and you both might need to work on what it means to make a variety of commitments with each other. If you don't talk about it, then what good is taking things that are important for granted without know where you each stand on certain issues?
I pray you find resolution in due time.
Your account has been activated. I will gladly move this the Christian Talk and Advice section with a copy in the Prayer section if you desire.