How exactly do I go about controlling my own flesh and will? I've just learned that addiction is a spirit and that it's my flesh that wants more. How do I make my flesh and my own will strong? And how do I love people? I want to love more than I already do.
Bible verses would be nice
You can't control your flesh. You're way too weak. We all are.
Romans 7:18-19
18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
Romans 8:5-8
5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.
8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption...
And so, God never says in His word that we are to control ourselves by ourselves, from our human resources of will and strength. Doing so ALWAYS ends in disaster. You will never achieve a godly end by means of the flesh, that is, by means of your finite, sin-corrupted, human power.
Here's what the Bible says is God's way to deal with the impulses of the flesh:
Galatians 5:16
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
What's it mean to "walk by the Spirit"? If it's so crucial to not gratifying the flesh, what is it, exactly? Well, it's the difference between being related to God as His child and enjoying daily fellowship with Him. Every person who is born-again is in a relationship with God as one of His children. But being related to God is not the same as having fellowship with Him. So, what's the difference?
Have you read the story of the Prodigal Son? It's recorded in
Luke 15:11-32. When the Prodigal Son was off living a foul, rebellious life, he was still his father's son, right? Wherever he went and whatever he did he remained the son of his father. But did the Prodigal Son enjoy fellowship with his father while the Prodigal was off wasting his inheritance in a far country? No. So, he was
related to his father but not enjoying
fellowship with his father. Lots of Christians live this way with God.
When the Prodigal finally returned to his father broken, starved, filthy, and humble his father rushed out to meet him, hugged him, kissed him, clothed him with new robes and threw a party for him. They enjoyed
fellowship with each other.
Most Christians are content with just being related to God through Jesus. They want to live it up in a far country, wasting what is theirs in Christ. Many actually don't believe that fellowship with God is possible, or, if it is, it's just for the super-saint in a monastery somewhere. But the life-changing, flesh-defeating power of God is ours
only in fellowship with Him.
Why is fellowship with God necessary to defeating the power of the flesh? Because it requires that we are walking in the Spirit, which is to live throughout each day under the Spirit's control, by faith trusting in him to change us and bring us into consistent victory over sin. If we won't submit to God all throughout each day (
James 4:7), if we won't be "living sacrifices" to Him (
Romans 12:1), if we won't live as the "slaves of righteousness" that we are to be as His children (
Romans 6:13-22), then we are REBELS toward God - just like the Prodigal was to his father when the Prodigal went off to waste his inheritance. When we are rebels, God won't fill us with Himself and the power that He is. Without His power, we can't master ourselves in the way God intends.
So, then, fellowship with God is the important thing. Read
1 Corinthians 1:9, 2 Corinthians 13;14 and
1 John 1:3. When you're walking in fellowship with God, when you're walking in the Spirit, you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
