Corrupt wishes... funny :)

[Caroline H]

Granted, but it is 7000 sand dollars.

I wish all my good wishes would come true with no harsh side effects.

 

[Entropic_Prodigy]

Granted, but now there's no such thing as harsh in the English language. It's been replaced by the adjective ruthless, and your side-effects have now gone from harsh to ruthless, without hope of wish reprieve.

I wish my car would clean itself.

 

[JMM]

I wish my car would clean itself.

Thy wish is granted, my dear Prodigy of Entropy. However, your car will only be able to clean itself on the second Tuesday of each week. Hmmmm.....think about that one for a moment. Oh, and as a bonus, your car is now ONLY capable of playing Clay Aiken CDs (nothing else.....just Clay all day), and ONLY Celine Dion will be heard on your car radio. :o

Now, I wish I had a DeLorean time machine.

 

[Spiffy]

Granted, JMM, however, the only one in stock at the moment is pink, your license plate says "Spiffy Rules", you must leave the pink fuzzy dice found on the dash, this is the flux capacitor, the machine is useless w/out it. The first and only time you use it, you wind up on the Mayflower headed for America in the 1600's. You still have your car, but no electricty.......Enjoy!



I wish I had my way all of the time.

 

[JMM]

Granted, Spiffy. However, you will suddenly develop schizophrenia, and your other personality will want its way all of the time as well. The problem will be that your two personalities will be at odds with each other on everything (for example, you want the oatmeal raisin cookie, but your other self wants the macadamia nut cookie), so that you can never possibly get your way ALL of the time (since both personalities are, in fact, YOU).

Now, I wish that I had all-encompassing power over all living beings.

 

[Caroline H]

Granted, but this means that you must stay focused every second of every single day in order to keep people's heart beating, plants growing, weather fluctuating, earth rotating, etc... But since the human brain is incapable of withstanding such stress, or organizing the entire world your brain short-circuts and you loose your ability to even govern your own functions and have to go to a mental hospital.

I wish that everytime the wind blew I could get $5.

 

[MISFIT]

Granted but after taxes you get only $0.02.

I wish I could think of a wish. :P

 

[Entropic_Prodigy]

I wish my car would clean itself.

Thy wish is granted, my dear Prodigy of Entropy. However, your car will only be able to clean itself on the second Tuesday of each week. Hmmmm.....think about that one for a moment. Oh, and as a bonus, your car is now ONLY capable of playing Clay Aiken CDs (nothing else.....just Clay all day), and ONLY Celine Dion will be heard on your car radio. :o

:verysick :dead
Ughhhh. How...did...you...know...my...weakness...? NOOOOOOOOO!

Granted, but the only wishes you can think of are that Clay Aiken CDs become banned in the U.S, and Celine Dion gets banned from the airways. Both have their vocal cords removed by the government because they contain known carcinogens and have been found to be extremely detrimental to public health, even by just being exposed to their soundwaves and vocal pitch.

I wish the people at work would stop being so frustrating and just do their jobs.

 

[JMM]

Great idea, Entropic! I believe that my heart WILL go on.....without Celine's caustic vocals. ;)

I wish the people at work would stop being so frustrating and just do their jobs.

Granted, E_P. Unfortunately, much to your chagrin, you will soon find out that their "job" is to frustrate you. So yes, they will most definitely do their jobs from here on out.

I wish.....for the next person's wish NOT to come true.

 

[JMM]

I wish I could think of a wish. :P

Done. You have just thought of a great wish! This wish you have thought of.....is for JMM to receive five million dollars in unmarked bills. So thank you, Misfit. I'll PM my account number to you so that we can arrange a direct deposit.

I wish for complete financial independence. Oh no! My last wish in the preceding post means that this will not come true. :ohwell

 

[Caroline H]

Did you just double grant Misfit's wish and double ask a wish? .....Hmmm

I wish that all food was extremely healthy, no matter how much batter or carbohydrates or sodium they contain.

 

[Amielou]

granted, but now everything tastes like... grass?? eeuck...



i wish i had chocolate. lots and lots of chocolate to eat. now. right now. chocolate that tastes like chocolate, not grass.

 

[Spiffy]

Granted, Amy, you will have as much chocolate as you want. You get to eat it whenever the desire arises. There is no limit to how much chocolate you get. BUT.....it doesn't have any sugar in it......blah....




I wish I had a new outfit for everyday.....

 

[Caroline H]

Graaaanted! But they are all rediculous clown suits

I wish that today was Friday!

 

[Amielou]

granted, today is Friday, and tomorrow is Friday, but now every day is Friday and you miss out om weekends and all the things you love about all the other days of the week







i wish there was a wholesome and yummy meal i could make for dinner in just 5 minutes or less.

 

[Caroline H]

Granted, but since you didn't specify for whom (or what), the meal you make is for a dog. It's the best tasting doggy meal ever.

I wish today was June 13th...Oh yea!

 

[Spiffy]

Caroline, your wishes are too hard to corrupt because we all want it for you, too.....however, if I must, granted, but now it's June 13th forever, you and Tim live in fantasy wedding world forever and ever.....and you never enter the "real world" again




I wish everyone was personable, friendly and welcoming all the time

 

[Amielou]

granted, well.... i can't corrupt that one!! um..... well, granted but...... um......... now everyone is also deaf so they are very nice and tolerant but cannot hear one another






I wish i did not have to drive so far tomorrow to get Hailey baby her dummies from Big W...

 

[Spiffy]

Granted, but the only ones you can find are way too big for her mouth, so in the mean time she is screaming and screaming for her dummy, to you have to drive even farther, but yet all of them are too big. Poor Hailey.....




I wish I could go to Hawaii right now!

 

[MISFIT]

Granted but you may only visit Molokai the leper colony.

I wish my state senators would stop making Utah look dumb.