[__ Prayer __] Dealing with fear and anxiety

[Rory]

Hello all, I hope you are doing okay.

I just want to share some things, hope this is the right thread.

The current state of my mind is like the weather in my country: mostly rain and wind. The kind of weather that makes you want to stay inside. Clouds of fear and strong gusts of anxiety are leaving me shivering and depressed.
But then, a ray of sunshine finds a way to me. Fear and anxiety leave my body and getting replaced by a sparkle of hope and joy. Sadly, just like the weather here, the moments don't last long.
So I'm trying to make these short moments count, as good as I can. Like filling a bottle with hope and joy, so I can have a sip when the rain starts to pour again.

Today I went to a hospital where the doctors are researching my heart (cardiac arrhytimia). I will have to wait to next week for the results. Since I found out I have this in September, the state of my mind went downhill quickly. I'm having severe panic attacks, trouble sleeping and I am very much afraid of dying (I live alone so that doesn't help me much either). And this while the doctors already told me this isn't life threathening. I struggle to believe that, and that made me realize I have more issues with believing and being able to trust.
As I laid on a bed, being looked upon, fear almost won again. But then I closed my eyes and thought of our dear Lord, Jesus Christ, who was nailed on a cross so I may be forgived for my sins. It made me realize that I should not be afraid (I still was, but less now). I opened my eyes again and I see my dad sitting there, being there for my also. Both got me through this and while the fear lasted nevertheless, it didn't won me over this time!

The rest of the day I spent in my "safe bubble", behind my desk with my pc. I write to God every day, so I took my sweet time doing that. As I'm writing this, I still feel the fear (quite a lot, as the new usual), which drove me to share with you.

I praise God for being there with me, with us. With other people who struggle. For reminding me that I should not fear, and that He has a place for all of us. I am still learning, but He has giving me hope. I am a sinner who wants to be saved so I pray to Him, that He may forgive me.

God bless you all.

 

[stovebolts]

Hello and thank you so much for your transparency and candidness.
We serve and worship a good God. Thank you for reminding me of this.

 

[Who Me]

have more issues with believing and being able to trust

Fear is the result of not trusting.
A child standing on a wall is afraid of the height, but their trust in Daddy gives them the courage to jump into his arms.

We are all far too confident in our ability, in our strength, our money in the bank etc etc.
We sometimes have, as you are, to learn to really trust in God and that is hard.

You live alone, but what of your church, your friends etc are you not able to share with them and gain encouragement from them.

I pray that you will trust God for the strength to face each moment of the day and that you can gain encouragement through fellowship in your church.

 

[Rory]

Fear is the result of not trusting.
A child standing on a wall is afraid of the height, but their trust in Daddy gives them the courage to jump into his arms.

We are all far too confident in our ability, in our strength, our money in the bank etc etc.
We sometimes have, as you are, to learn to really trust in God and that is hard.

You live alone, but what of your church, your friends etc are you not able to share with them and gain encouragement from them.

I pray that you will trust God for the strength to face each moment of the day and that you can gain encouragement through fellowship in your church.

You are right. Thank you for your words, it helps me a lot! And thanks for your prayers, God bless you.

 

[Rory]

A little update:

I have the results back. My heart seem te be healthy, besides the (innocent) arrhythmia. So I'll be okay!
I still need a surgical treatment for my symptoms, but the doctors have said it will fix my problems for 99% sure!

I pray to God that He will give me strength to get through this. And I thank you all, who have prayed with/for me. May God bless you all!