kimberlyb0112 said:
I need some advice..
and before I go into this.. I know some people are going to say I should talk to someone now.. but I cant do that.. also some of y'all are going to give me alot of scripture and I know this sounds really bad and I'm sorry.. I kind of need more than that right now..
As most everyone knows, Im deployed.. the thing is.. I'm depressed right now.. I know I am..
Its the fact that my best friend was killed in march, I have no female friends I can talk to.. or any friends for that matter.. one of my good guy friends left to go back to the states a couple days ago..
all the guys that work together seem so close, the guys I work with are creepy and one hits on me all the time.. so i dont talk to them much..
I just need advice on how to hide my depression, or become more tough so no one can tell.. Im the "always happy, always nice" type and lately people have been asking me if im okay over and over..
so obviously Im not doing a good job of hiding it..
If i can just hide it for now, and keep it in until I get back to the states..I will be okay..
I will find a civilian to talk to like a preacher or something
anyway im just looking for advice on how i can deal with this without letting others know,
music makes me feel better.. but I'm just drained and I feel down because I don't have anyone..
One of my guy friends was telling me its like guys detach themselves emotionally.. i told him that I wanted to be like that and he said no i didnt.. but i do..
i mean here at least.. it will be better
i know i sound weak enough as it is just saying all this but anyway any advice would be appreciated
While im just an Air Force enlistee who has just got his ship date two weeks ago, as a fellow christian allow me to share my insights on this subject.
What your friend was referring to is the talent that some guys have to 'defer' how they feel about things.Its good to be able to put aside feeling like sh!t temporarily to handle business, like making sure your logistics convoy gets back behind the wire intact, but like anything else, it comes back to bite you in the ass, and at the worst time.
I know its a war zone, and that supposedly good soldiers dont cry. IMO thats a crock of #$%$. In the case of profound tragedy Jesus, the Light of salvation, the best of the Best, the Macho of the macho, the Savior of all, cried.
If the Creators Son can weep , so can we. If you feel the need to mourn a tragedy, do so-but know that regardless of the outcome, you will honor your friend by working in their memory more than you ever could by allowing their loss to stop your mission.
Ive had to consider personally what would happen should I not make it home from any assignment the military send me on, be it to Iraq,Afghanistan, or stateside via an accident , and while ill be before the company of Jesus,id want my friends and family not to mourn my departure-one which will happen eventually, as it is appointed onto all men to die once-but to celebrate the positive events of my life and my positive influences on those close to me, be they co-worker ,best friend, flightmate, whatever may be.
Remember that as you honor your friend, and keep God first-because , believe it or not, He knows the pain of mourning from experience and thus knows how you feel.
Go with Christ, and may He keep you safe from both enemy fire and friendly bureaucracy.
-DT
