Difficult wives

[theLords]

Solomon says the woman "whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains" is more bitter than death (Ecclesiastes 7:26 NIV).

This is Solomon feeling sorry for himself and trying to blame all his problems on women. Very much like Adam blaming Eve.

No.

Perhaps this gives a little more insight into what Solomon was driving at:

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 21:9 NIV)

And apparently he thought it was worth repeating:

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 25:24 NIV)

He also says:

A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;
restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand." (Proverbs 27:15-16 NIV)

The quarrelsome 'difficult' wife is a very heavy burden to bear...a very difficult burden to restrain.

God didn't send us these scriptures to somehow blame men for the problem. He sent them so the women to whom they apply can humbly learn from them and cease being difficult. There's no reason for any woman to get defensive about them and start blaming men. Just take responsibility for not letting yourself become that difficult quarrelsome woman.

But what does God say Solomon's problem was? Not "biological" lust for women. Solomon chose the women he chose because of who their daddys and connections were. Solomon's lust was a lust for power and wealth. Then he allowed them to do whatever to keep the peace and then allowed himself to participate in their paganism.

You'll have to provide some support for the 'lust for power and wealth' theory. He was enticed by foreign women like Samson was. That's what I see. And there's no question that it led him astray into the worship of their gods. What it doesn't explain is the nature of some women to be difficult. That's not Solomon's fault. Consider David's first wife, Micah. She was not foreign, and yet she was bitter and difficult.

I'm trying to be understanding here. I know it's a biological thing...a hormonal thing. You learn a lot about life and the nature of things in fifty years...that is when God takes you on the hard road where those things are learned.

Could be deduced, by Biblical evidence per David's bad parenting, that Michah had bad character because of Saul's bad parenting... "Difficult" women could have very "difficult" pasts with "difficult" fathers. Everyone's flaws are based and rooted in sin, which is rooted in brokenness, it's not "Are you sure God said..." so much as "Are you sure God is good?"

Peace and Blessings in Christ

 

[AirDancer]

Stay in prayer about it, [MENTION=52402]Pizzaguy[/MENTION] .... our Lord will present the 'right' woman for you. Sometimes, it takes us each time to clearly understand just who it is our Lord is positioning in our paths for us.

I'm a bit older than you, but I do understand the frustrations you hold concerning the 2 women you have dated recently. I'm on the other side of relationships. And I have determined to remain single & not date again until our Lord decides I'm not supposed to be single any longer.

 

[farouk]

No.

Perhaps this gives a little more insight into what Solomon was driving at:

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 21:9 NIV)

And apparently he thought it was worth repeating:

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 25:24 NIV)

He also says:

A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;
restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand." (Proverbs 27:15-16 NIV)

The quarrelsome 'difficult' wife is a very heavy burden to bear...a very difficult burden to restrain.

God didn't send us these scriptures to somehow blame men for the problem. He sent them so the women to whom they apply can humbly learn from them and cease being difficult. There's no reason for any woman to get defensive about them and start blaming men. Just take responsibility for not letting yourself become that difficult quarrelsome woman.

But what does God say Solomon's problem was? Not "biological" lust for women. Solomon chose the women he chose because of who their daddys and connections were. Solomon's lust was a lust for power and wealth. Then he allowed them to do whatever to keep the peace and then allowed himself to participate in their paganism.

You'll have to provide some support for the 'lust for power and wealth' theory. He was enticed by foreign women like Samson was. That's what I see. And there's no question that it led him astray into the worship of their gods. What it doesn't explain is the nature of some women to be difficult. That's not Solomon's fault. Consider David's first wife, Micah. She was not foreign, and yet she was bitter and difficult.

I'm trying to be understanding here. I know it's a biological thing...a hormonal thing. You learn a lot about life and the nature of things in fifty years...that is when God takes you on the hard road where those things are learned.

Could be deduced, by Biblical evidence per David's bad parenting, that Michah had bad character because of Saul's bad parenting... "Difficult" women could have very "difficult" pasts with "difficult" fathers. Everyone's flaws are based and rooted in sin, which is rooted in brokenness, it's not "Are you sure God said..." so much as "Are you sure God is good?"

Peace and Blessings in Christ

[MENTION=32099]theLords[/MENTION]:

Sometimes the deepest scars are psychological ones that people have to bear. The Lord wonderfully delivers. Memories are still there, of course.

Blessings.

 

[farouk]

It seems that somehow abusive people sniff out the ones that are kind. ..

[MENTION=93058]Deborah13[/MENTION]: This is so sad, but it's sometimes true that it happens this way.

Blessings.

 

[Classik]

Some women are naturally difficult. They are like a hair in the eye. And for unlucky husbands who marry these people...should they also try to show their superiority: 'I-am-the-man-of-the-house--and-you-must-submit approach to the situation? Is that necessary? Or should the man remain a puppet just for the sake of peace? I'm currently monitoring 'a' situation.

Just so we understand, what would the wives submission look like in this situation?

Sorry. I have been away briefly. I would say 'in a way the bible wants it.

 

[Classik]

Wow! I'm overwhelmed. Thank you all for your replies.

 

[handy]

I-am-the-man-of-the-house--and-you-must-submit approach to the situation?

One thing to note about submission... it cannot be forced... it can only be voluntary. A husband might, through intimidation, manipulation, or even out right abuse, make his wife obey him.

But that isn't submission. Submission comes from the heart. It can only be voluntary. Even if a wife is doing what her husband wants, inside: she might be being anything but submissive.

 

[Classik]

You are totally right. Seems there is a distinction between devotion and love

 

[farouk]

I-am-the-man-of-the-house--and-you-must-submit approach to the situation?

One thing to note about submission... it cannot be forced... it can only be voluntary. A husband might, through intimidation, manipulation, or even out right abuse, make his wife obey him.

But that isn't submission. Submission comes from the heart. It can only be voluntary. Even if a wife is doing what her husband wants, inside: she might be being anything but submissive.

[MENTION=4376]handy[/MENTION]:

 

[farouk]

...But seriously, just as all men are not like my ex-fiance, or that guy with 6 kids, or even my dad (who I made peace with and had a very close relationship for the last 20 years of his life)...all women are not irrational, unreasonable, combative, unfair, contentious, and provocative.

As we leave off our 20's and move through our 30's, 40's, 50's,etc... we see that most people in life do get married. And, the older one gets, the more one meets up with people who aren't married because they are like this...both men and women.

....

[MENTION=4376]handy[/MENTION]:

You know, I've been thinking: some really macho men with ostensibly very conservative views about women, if they happened to have been born female they could easily have turned into the most radical, anti-male feminists possible.

I can sympathize with some conservative views; and I can appreciate some concerns of feminists.

But raging militancy, at one opposite or another, seems to involve a failure to empathize with how other people think and feel.

(Two cents'.)

Blessings.

 

[acarrollfan]

The Bible didn't ask the men to understand them. It only says, love your wife, as Christ also loved the church. - Ephesians 5:25

 

[farouk]

The Bible didn't ask the men to understand them. It only says, love your wife, as Christ also loved the church. - Ephesians 5:25

[MENTION=96758]acarrollfan[/MENTION]: Great post!