Divorce and Remarrige quandry

[highlife]

How does the church address the divorce an remarriage quandry: the scenario is as follows:

Couple is having problems, husband beats teh wife or wife defrauds the husband.

The spouse being sinned against gets tired of it and initiates what would in the eyes of the chruch be a "unbiblical divorce".

How do you convince the one that was being abused in the relationship that THEY have sinned by initiating the paper work, how many of you can honestly say that God wanted them to continue to be abused?

The standard christian argument is separation - ok so if they cant reconsile how does one deal with the lonelyness and sexual frustration when they are in a situation where they dont have a clean break from their spouse?

How does the church address such issues where it is NOT ok with the abused spouse to just be alone the rest of their lives and they dont believe they sinned since they were the abused party in the relationship.

How can friendships be maintained in such situations or does this scenario playing out have to always result in broken relationships and changing churches.

Why is road rage laughed at but wanting to be rid of an abusive spouse and happy in life trigger a full blown church inquistion?

does everyone think this is kosher behavior of the church? I am just waiting for this to play out in our church and saddly we have alot of people we like in chruch but I wont tolerate church maniputation where someone is activly being harmed. That will be a sad day when we have to say enough is enough.

 

[Mike]

Highlife, is this really the forum you wanted to put your thread, because it sounds like you've come loaded for bear to defend your take. Typically we don't come in here with the debate mindset.

I would say it is the slim minority of Christians who would say that an abused spouse should not be removed from that situation. There are two reasons for divorce that scripture supports: sexual unfaithfulness (Matt 5) and when an unbelieving spouse actually leaves it (1 Cor 7). I don't feel the Lord would expect a spouse to endure physical abuse. Obviously, it's not safe for the abused spouse, that marriage doesn't honor God, and I believe it is displeasing to Him.

If you're going to rely on scripture for the basis of your opinion, the reasons I gave are the only ones that can be validated. We shouldn't always be asking if this or that is grounds for divorce. We should be asking if reconciliation and forgiveness is at all possible. The Christian's response should always be "Yes" if the spouse has truly repented and changed.

 

[highlife]

The boiled down reason for my question is how far should another Christian take things if they disagree with some decision another Christian made. Should they push things to such a level that they totally destroy the friendship/relationship, I can under stand saying something maybe once but so many of these situations go way over the top and relation ships are destroyed when someone does not make the decision that one thinks they should make.

This is not rare isolated issues I have seen it go down in past church's I have been too. Is this really the face of Christianity Christians want?

 

[phantom309]

The boiled down reason for my question is how far should another Christian take things if they disagree with some decision another Christian made. Should they push things to such a level that they totally destroy the friendship/relationship, I can under stand saying something maybe once but so many of these situations go way over the top and relation ships are destroyed when someone does not make the decision that one thinks they should make.

This is not rare isolated issues I have seen it go down in past church's I have been too. Is this really the face of Christianity Christians want?

We all tend to butt into anothers business at times,and on most occasions its just not received well or wanted to begin with.Noone likes being under the spotlight,having the aspects of their life examined and critiqued.

With that said,we must also realize that if everyone would "respect" us enough to stay back and never voice an opinion,warn us away from danger,or call us out on something wrong..we would quickly and irrevocably go astray.True respect for your fellow man includes stepping in when you think hes in danger,regardless of how he may resent you for that.Ive heard it said that Id rather someone hate me here than burn on the other side.

Something similar is addressed in Matthew 18:15 and the following verses.This does refer to a personal situation but I think we can infer that should we see someone else struggling with a situation,or perhaps about to get themselves in trouble,that we should get involved to a limited degree.

I use this analogy alot.Lets say you and I are walking through the woods,and come to a fork in the path.When I check the map,I can see its safer to go right due to hazards ahead on the left.Should you choose to go left anyway,I would still warn you away from it,even if it got on your nerves to do so.I would much rather have you mad at me than fall to your death because you refused to acknowledge or realize the dangers ahead.Its just basic consideration,caring for someone.

Where we begin to open Pandoras box on the subject are the cases in which the "helping hand" is either misinformed on the matter,thereby offering incorrect information or simply choosing to follow personal opinion rather than biblical fact.So many cases of this are rampant these days.Most christians Ive met do not read the bible as much as they should,skip out of church and consequently receive little instruction and insight as it is written.These people are left to conduct life on the basis of personal conjecture and what someone else tells them the bible says..which may be equally or more skewed.

Should we intervene when we see something dangerous/unhealthy in fellow believers?Absolutely..none of us can stand alone and walk right in the eyes of God.We need guidance.Unfortunately this sometimes has to come from people we may not trust,like or even get along with.Iron sharpens iron as they say,and it is true.We do have a responsibility to each other.

If you are being personally criticized for something,truly consider what the offending party has to offer and the nature of the criticism.Is it scriptural? Is it true? Does this honestly apply to you? Does this person have legit motive to come to you?If so,then examine what is occurring and do the best you can.If not,then I would point out what is incorrect about their criticism and let them know that you are not open to their opinion.

My stepdaughter could serve as a somewhat related example here.Shes into alot of this hip-hop crap by artists that want to talk about nothing but money,hoes,sex,drinkin,etc.Ive had to correct her several times for things she wants to listen to,watch on tv and so forth.Most of her friends parents let them watch what she has to miss out on at home,and she absolutely hates it at times.Regardless of how she may dislike me for imposing certain standards, I see the danger in associating with certain people and behavior and refuse to let her delve into it as deep as she wants.I know what the outcome will be and though she may get older and follow that anyway,Ill continue to step in where I need to keep her from turning into some little rap junkie who gets wrapped up in the stupidity that these people represent.