Do you believe birth control is wrong, is it going against God?

[mep10391]

:
So my boyfriend and I were having a bit of a friendly debate and some how the conversation went in to talking about birth control. Talking about the future like this sent chills down my spin because I leave things of that nature in Gods hands like all things. So he has made it clear to me that he wants to get married and have children, which I was hesitant about but I have soon turned over a new leaf. Any who from our unexpected convo I learned he firmly believes that birth control is against the bible, although he and I will not be having sex until marriage all I could think was :o.
Of course I could say "its easy for you to say since man cant carry children".
I know that loving and honoring God isnt suppose to be convenient for me, but sex obviously leads to many babies which is not something I think I want.

I need another perspective.

 

[handy]

Hi Mep, welcome to the forum! :waving

It's so important to talk about these things before one gets married...this is what dating and engagement should be all about...going over important things like these and seeing if you're on the same page.

As things are exactly, right now...you and your boyfriend aren't.

It's important to note here that even though he doesn't carry the babies, his opinion is just as valid as yours in regards to how many children he wants.

And, if you get married...even though you carry the babies...he's the head of the household and it's part of the role of a godly wife to submit.

So, red flag time. Time to stop and really consider this one.

There are several things to be worked out here. One, you are now needing to think through the whole issue of children. How many do you feel comfortable having...one, two at the most? He can't answer that question for you...this is between you and God. We can all stand here and say that "children are God's blessings" and that "it's a great honor to be a mother" and that's all true. But, if in your heart of hearts, you don't want a large family...you don't.

The key player here is the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spirit is convicting you that many children are God's will for you...if you are truly feeling that spiritual pressure that is the unmistakable sign of the Spirit's conviction...then you need to heed the Spirit and trust that He will work in your heart to be joyous about every little bundle.

However, if you feel no such conviction and only a sense of dread at the thought of having 5-8 children...then you truly need to see that perhaps marriage with this man isn't what's best.

Just as it isn't right for him to expect you to give birth to 5-8 or even more kids, it's also not right for you to expect him to not want a large family, if this is what he desires and think God desires for him.

Now, about the birth control. There are several Catholics on this board as well as a few others that have some very good perspectives on the idea of no birth control.

Myself, I simply don't have to practice birth control...God saw fit to close my womb. My two kids are through adoption. However, I come from quite a large family and I have some nieces and nephews who are at 5 kids and counting...and others who have decided, either by choice or by health reasons to stop. We're all Christians and we are all desirous of honoring God with our choices.

I am not of the opinion that all birth control is inherently sinful or even "anti-Bible". The bible is silent on the matter of birth control and don't let anyone try to sell you that the story of Tamar and Onan is regarding birth control...it isn't. Since the Bible is silent on the matter, it's important to apply other principles that we find in the Scriptures about it. For instance...whereas I don't believe their is anything at all wrong with "barrier" methods...methods of bc that simply keep the sperm from the egg...I will make a strong case that any method that destroys a fertilized egg is indeed sinful. I also believe that any bc pill or insert that disrupts the natural function of your body is not only sinful...but not all that healthy. It's always best to let a healthy body do what a healthy body does, and for women this means the cycle of ovulation and menstruation.

But, simply practicing sex with the method and means to prevent the sperm from reaching the egg...I don't see a biblical problem with it...I truly don't.

But, here's another important point...if your boyfriend does...if he truly feels that wearing a condom and using a spermicide is sinful...then for him it is. One should never do anything one "feels" is sinful...even if it isn't clearly sin, because whatever is not done of faith is sin. And, you can't ask your future husband to sin, even if the sin is nothing more than not acting in faith when using a condom.

It's good that you and your boyfriend are talking this important issue over at this time. It truly is a "deal breaker" issue...one that if the two of you cannot come together on, then you need to break up and seek a more compatible person.

What's really important is that no "bait and switch" take place...no one says that they've "changed their mind" and marries on false pretenses...then reveals after marriage that they really still want what they wanted in the first place.

 

[Pizzaguy]

At least he's being honest with you, even IF, IMO, his viewpoint is not reasonable (unless he becomes a doctor or lawyer, or a CEO of a MAJOR corporation, life will be quite a challenge financially with 8 kids).

As is so often the case, Handy has stated everything I already would have told you - except for one thing.

I find the only reasonable form of birth control is the vasectomy (and I bet THAT will send him off the rails! :toofunny ) Handy already built a case for my position, and to complete the "sale", we need only look at the medical implications of the various methods.

 

[mep10391]

thank you so much @Handy and @pizzaguy.
My boyfriend and I definitely have to have a discussions regarding this issue.
The wierd think is, the reason why his viewpoint shocked me so much is that he said he wants to have two children, which I completly agree with. When I questioned him how he expects to have just two children without birth control he said God loves to prove us wrong.

 

[handy]

Wow...that's seems kind of naive...not saying your guy probably isn't a great one but...;)

One observation to make is that to expect God to override the physical laws He put in place is putting Him to the test.

Think about this passage:

Matthew 4:1-7 "Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He then became hungry. And the tempter came and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.†But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.’†Then the devil *took Him into the holy city and had Him stand on the pinnacle of the temple, and *said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down; for it is written,
‘HE WILL COMMAND HIS ANGELS CONCERNING YOU’;
and
‘ON their HANDS THEY WILL BEAR YOU UP,
SO THAT YOU WILL NOT STRIKE YOUR FOOT AGAINST A STONE.’â€
Jesus said to him, “On the other hand, it is written, ‘YOU SHALL NOT PUT THE LORD YOUR GOD TO THE TEST.’â€

The laws of physics...that God established...would demand that if one throws oneself off of a high pinnacle, one goes splat. Now, should Jesus had accidentally fallen off of a high pinnacle, then perhaps the angels would come to bear Him up...but, Jesus wasn't going to fall into the devil's trap of putting God to the test about it. For Jesus to climb up the pinnacle and throw Himself off would not only be foolish, it would be sinful.

By the same token, God designed our bodies to work a certain way and part of the natural design of our bodies is that sex produces babies in a young, healthy woman's body.

To have sex without birth control and be satisfied with 5-8, or even 15-18 kids is one thing.

To have sex without birth control and expect God to over-ride the natural function of your body is putting God to the test.

 

[grovenored]

Everything seems to have been pretty well covered here, but I'll add my thoughts just in case.
I recently did an article/post on the issue of sex, in which I briefly discussed the different methods of contraception and birth control.
Maybe it will help
Just click through here and scroll down to the sub-heading "On the subject of contraception"
I hope this helps you out a little.
Keep praying about this as it seems you and your boyfriend need to come to agree on this subject.
God bless

 

[felix]

:
So my boyfriend and I were having a bit of a friendly debate and some how the conversation went in to talking about birth control. Talking about the future like this sent chills down my spin because I leave things of that nature in Gods hands like all things. So he has made it clear to me that he wants to get married and have children, which I was hesitant about but I have soon turned over a new leaf. Any who from our unexpected convo I learned he firmly believes that birth control is against the bible, although he and I will not be having sex until marriage all I could think was :o.
Of course I could say "its easy for you to say since man cant carry children".
I know that loving and honoring God isnt suppose to be convenient for me, but sex obviously leads to many babies which is not something I think I want.

I need another perspective.

Birth control is against God. By doing birth control, you refuse to obey God:

Gen 1:28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

How can you be fruitful and multiply by doing birth control?

 

[jasoncran]

Birth control is against God. By doing birth control, you refuse to obey God:

Gen 1:28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

How can you be fruitful and multiply by doing birth control?

without being argumentive. when i married my wife, i choose not to have children as she didnt want anymore. she not soon after due to health reasons had her uterus removed. it was upside down and also she was starting menopause. when one marries an older women in the late 30s to 50 age range this can be expected to occur.

alas but i have gained children, she had kids before my marriage to her. and they had kids themselves. so in a sense do have kids, just none biologically.

not all are called to marry or have kids, and if the lord leads some to that direction to whom are we to say you are wrong?

i knew a sister and dear one that died never being married and did much work for the lord and adopted one man , at the age of i think 30(his age). she helped him when he was disabled and led him to the lord..