Not sure if this post fits here but I want to vent, and ask a question.
"Julie" and I have been friends for two years. She is a sweet girl, but I find myself not enjoying her company anymore.
-A week before my surgery, Julie began joking about how in some cases, anaesthesia doesn't work. She started describing how much pain I would feel if it didn't work for me in a joking way, and laughed about it. This wasn't a minor procedure. As I was already feeling nervous, I found it appalling that she'd be so insensitive. When I politely told her it wasn't a nice thing to say, she just ignored me.
-She asks invasive and inappropriate questions repeatedly. She keeps asking me why my husband and I sleep in separate rooms (we both sleep more comfortably that way, none of anybody else's business, right? Not according to Julie). She keeps asking "so do you guys REALLY have trouble sleeping when you're in the same room?" as if trying to figure out what marriage problems we must have to be in different bedrooms. She's also asked me about a very personal medical problem I have, something most people wouldn't probe others about. Again, I indicated I didn't want to discuss this, and she ignored me.
-Julie annoys my son - to give an example, last time she came over to our place, he happened to be sick. My son was grumpy and threw his cup on the floor. She jokingly told him he was going into "time out", and my son, recognising the word, became upset. Over the next hour she told him about ten times that he was going to go to "time out" and laughed each time because it was funny for her to get a reaction out of him. I told her he was ill and please stop agitating him, but she completely ignored me. (This seems to happen a lot when she's around)
There have been so many other occasions where I felt like Julie was being inconsiderate. I just don't enjoy her company anymore and I find myself feeling edgy and wondering what else she's going to do next. I have stopped inviting her to our place because it's impossible to put my son to bed when she's there - she talks so loudly he can't sleep (and this is after we repeatedly and politely ask her to tone it down). I have started to distance myself away from her and Julie has been making an extra effort to be nicer to me. To be honest, I would prefer if we just stopped meeting up. But I feel guilty and wonder if God wants me to remain friends with her. I keep telling myself, "how can I expect God to forgive me and stick with me if I won't do the same for others?" But I really, really dread being around Julie.
I haven't come up with a good conclusion after much thought, so I want to know what others' perspectives are. From a biblical point of view, does God tell us to be friends with people whom we dislike? Do I need to keep preserving this friendship to please God? Does forgiving somebody also mean we need to remain friends with them?
"Julie" and I have been friends for two years. She is a sweet girl, but I find myself not enjoying her company anymore.
-A week before my surgery, Julie began joking about how in some cases, anaesthesia doesn't work. She started describing how much pain I would feel if it didn't work for me in a joking way, and laughed about it. This wasn't a minor procedure. As I was already feeling nervous, I found it appalling that she'd be so insensitive. When I politely told her it wasn't a nice thing to say, she just ignored me.
-She asks invasive and inappropriate questions repeatedly. She keeps asking me why my husband and I sleep in separate rooms (we both sleep more comfortably that way, none of anybody else's business, right? Not according to Julie). She keeps asking "so do you guys REALLY have trouble sleeping when you're in the same room?" as if trying to figure out what marriage problems we must have to be in different bedrooms. She's also asked me about a very personal medical problem I have, something most people wouldn't probe others about. Again, I indicated I didn't want to discuss this, and she ignored me.
-Julie annoys my son - to give an example, last time she came over to our place, he happened to be sick. My son was grumpy and threw his cup on the floor. She jokingly told him he was going into "time out", and my son, recognising the word, became upset. Over the next hour she told him about ten times that he was going to go to "time out" and laughed each time because it was funny for her to get a reaction out of him. I told her he was ill and please stop agitating him, but she completely ignored me. (This seems to happen a lot when she's around)
There have been so many other occasions where I felt like Julie was being inconsiderate. I just don't enjoy her company anymore and I find myself feeling edgy and wondering what else she's going to do next. I have stopped inviting her to our place because it's impossible to put my son to bed when she's there - she talks so loudly he can't sleep (and this is after we repeatedly and politely ask her to tone it down). I have started to distance myself away from her and Julie has been making an extra effort to be nicer to me. To be honest, I would prefer if we just stopped meeting up. But I feel guilty and wonder if God wants me to remain friends with her. I keep telling myself, "how can I expect God to forgive me and stick with me if I won't do the same for others?" But I really, really dread being around Julie.
I haven't come up with a good conclusion after much thought, so I want to know what others' perspectives are. From a biblical point of view, does God tell us to be friends with people whom we dislike? Do I need to keep preserving this friendship to please God? Does forgiving somebody also mean we need to remain friends with them?
