Christ_empowered
Member
I've come to the startling conclusion that what people 'round here have to say about me really doesn't matter. Jesus saved me in a big, big way, as He has any number of other Christians. Anyway, I can't let what people say around here get me down or mess with what I've got going on in my life. I'm finally smart enough to do college-level work and finish a degree, healthy, increasingly normal. I also get disability and have (thankfully, financially "comfortable") people who are willing and able to take care of me and protect me until I can support myself (which will probably involve moving away, degree in hand).
I came to this realization--which is obvious to most people, lol--yesterday. The neighbors (yes, THOSE neighbors) had people over and they were giving me a hassle. Still talking about warrants and prison and how "he belongs in the penitentiary," stuff like that. They've been talking about warrants and prison for over 2 years now. They used to yell out at me "yeah, put him on work detail!," stuff like that. I've already been through one court case...I now have a misdemeanor (which, according to google, makes me a "misdemeanant") and 3.5 years of probation left. Not a huge deal; $50 a month, face time now and then, don't get in trouble, etc. etc. etc. Oh, yeah...and stay on your meds. That's actually a condition of my probation, so I take it very seriously.
I feel like...well, its sort of like God brought me home, I got saved, and then I learned the truth about my old life and, by extension, a lot about how the "real world" works. Turns out, reality bites. No, really. Losers don't matter, losers go through things, on and on it goes...basically, I was just a weakling on the broad road, and I suffered immensely until Christ saved me. Now, I'm forgiven (#1 thing, I have to remind myself of that) and also...transformed, although I get that I'm now just a very rough draft, a work-in-progress.
But yeah...doesn't matter. They talk about "Federal warrants," as in: go pick up your warrant, he has warrants, the marshals are coming for him, he's gotta get ready for prison, on and on it goes. Like I wrote above, I'm going into year 3 of the "warrants" talk. I don't know anything about the legal system, but I get the sense I'd be in jail or something if I'd violated federal law, especially since I've been on probation for 1.5 years.
They also talk about my sexuality, my schizophrenia, my psychiatric treatment, on and on it goes. Point is: I'm not a member of this community. I'm far outside the group, and I don't have to live here indefinitely, praise God (!). That's what online degrees are for...get your degree(s), move on, move away.
So, yeah...please pray for me, and I also Praise God (!) for bringing me this far. I realize now that part of their "problem" is that God's work in my life runs counter to worldly wisdom. That's true of God's work in general, especially His work in the lives of His children....it just happens that I'm stigmatized and used to be "poor white trash" (excuse the phrase; its The South), so people really let me have it.
OK. I think that's it, lol. Just putting my thoughts together this AM, lol.
I came to this realization--which is obvious to most people, lol--yesterday. The neighbors (yes, THOSE neighbors) had people over and they were giving me a hassle. Still talking about warrants and prison and how "he belongs in the penitentiary," stuff like that. They've been talking about warrants and prison for over 2 years now. They used to yell out at me "yeah, put him on work detail!," stuff like that. I've already been through one court case...I now have a misdemeanor (which, according to google, makes me a "misdemeanant") and 3.5 years of probation left. Not a huge deal; $50 a month, face time now and then, don't get in trouble, etc. etc. etc. Oh, yeah...and stay on your meds. That's actually a condition of my probation, so I take it very seriously.
I feel like...well, its sort of like God brought me home, I got saved, and then I learned the truth about my old life and, by extension, a lot about how the "real world" works. Turns out, reality bites. No, really. Losers don't matter, losers go through things, on and on it goes...basically, I was just a weakling on the broad road, and I suffered immensely until Christ saved me. Now, I'm forgiven (#1 thing, I have to remind myself of that) and also...transformed, although I get that I'm now just a very rough draft, a work-in-progress.
But yeah...doesn't matter. They talk about "Federal warrants," as in: go pick up your warrant, he has warrants, the marshals are coming for him, he's gotta get ready for prison, on and on it goes. Like I wrote above, I'm going into year 3 of the "warrants" talk. I don't know anything about the legal system, but I get the sense I'd be in jail or something if I'd violated federal law, especially since I've been on probation for 1.5 years.
They also talk about my sexuality, my schizophrenia, my psychiatric treatment, on and on it goes. Point is: I'm not a member of this community. I'm far outside the group, and I don't have to live here indefinitely, praise God (!). That's what online degrees are for...get your degree(s), move on, move away.
So, yeah...please pray for me, and I also Praise God (!) for bringing me this far. I realize now that part of their "problem" is that God's work in my life runs counter to worldly wisdom. That's true of God's work in general, especially His work in the lives of His children....it just happens that I'm stigmatized and used to be "poor white trash" (excuse the phrase; its The South), so people really let me have it.
OK. I think that's it, lol. Just putting my thoughts together this AM, lol.