by Martha N. Wolowicz
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Performance-based religion shames people for struggling, asking, doubting, feeling or resting...and for not complying, reading, giving, attending or doing."
Jeff VanVonderen,Tired of Trying to Measure Up
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As we clasped hands in prayer at our women's Bible study, the pain my friends were feeling jolted through us like a charge of electricity. Words spilled out, one after another.
"I can't quit the medication because my depression gets even worse. I guess I'm not a good Christian if I can't control my depression without it," cried a young housewife. "Because depression is of the mind, I should be able to control it. But I can't do that even though I feel close to the Lord," confessed a retired widow.
These were painful words from women who needed more than just our encouragement and concern. They needed hope and renewal. My friends are among the growing number of women suffering from depression, and that depression often creates feelings of guilt, especially among Christians. As we began to talk about this pain, one woman timidly spoke up, "Some of the members of my church told me if my faith was strong enough I could handle my depression, but I can't. So I constantly have to defend my faith and my illness."
Depression Affects Christians
"The Christian's struggle with depression is fueled by the erroneous or well-meaning judgment of others," says Dr. Al Larson of Dynamics of Growth, Inc., St. Paul, Minnesota. As a counselor, Dr. Larson sees some ignorance in the body of Christ in regard to emotional problems. "There's a tendency in the church to put on facades about life (which is at times perpetuated by elders, pastors and people in authority). This gives a message that people need to act a certain way emotionally or look a certain way -- as if they have no problems. If people live outside those boundaries, as they do in cases of depression, they are assumed to be in sin, possibly possessed, uncaring and not wanting to get well -- or most often, they are assumed to have a lack of faith."
Similarly, the assumption that our weaknesses and illnesses will only be healed if we have enough faith can add to the weight of negative feelings, including guilt. "I was brought up in a strict church which associated healing or answers to prayer with how much faith we had or how much we did to gain it," voiced a young mother. "It's hard to rise above those learned attitudes. I still have depression, so does that mean I don't have enough faith to be healed?"
Two Types of Guilt
It's difficult to suffer from the anxiety of depression and the inability to stay in control (with medication or without), but it's even more difficult when others question the depression in relation to faith. Just what type of guilt is it that is so often associated with depression in Christians, and what can be done to overcome it?
Our group decided that a good way to begin answering this question was to investigate and define the various types of guilt. Author Becca Cowan Johnson compares two types of guilt in her book, Good Guilt, Bad Guilt and What to Do With Each (InterVarsity Press, 1996). She describes good guilt as convicting guilt -- the guilt which leads to confession and forgiveness -- and bad guilt as untrue,
unfounded guilt leading to self-condemnation. She points out that good guilt drives us to the Lord, and bad guilt is a time-waster, resource-user and energy-drainer. It's destructive to relationships, productivity and creativity. But just how do we get sucked into the bad guilt?
Our group generally agreed that perfectionist thinking was one causative factor in the guilt associated with depression. Discouragement is the end result of our striving to achieve our own perfection in relationships with God and others. It's often easy to lose sight of the fact that only Christ can do the work of perfecting in us.
A religion based on law and tradition also perpetuates false guilt. Those in our group who experienced that type of religion have concern at the importance placed on the law rather than on the freedom gained through Christ. That misplaced importance can produce a weight of self-condemnation and a false assumption of God's condemnation. As we continued our discussion, we found hope in the book of Romans which reveals the new life we have in the Spirit. Romans 7:6 says, "But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code."
Negative messages bind us every day, and those messages seem to be even more acute when there is depression. Just how do we live in the new way of the Spirit when we are bombarded with negative guilt messages: those we tell ourselves and those put on us by others? We alone choose what we put into our memory banks, so we need to develop new, healthy messages to replace the negative ones.
Defined by The Word
Speaking on depression, Dr. Greg Boyd, pastor, author and professor at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, confirmed our need for positive feelings. "When you're wearing dark glasses, the world is a very dark place. In Philippians, Paul tells us that we should think on things that are good, things that are true and things that are beautiful. We need to concentrate on these things when we're in a state of gloom. This is an act of discipleship on our part, an act of discipline in the middle of gloom to turn our minds towards what is true and begin to think about God's Word." Dr. Boyd continued, "Don't be defined by the problems of depression. Be defined by the Word of God."
God's Word defines us as his new creations by assuring us who we are in Christ. God has given us the tools through the Holy Spirit to break down barriers, as he tells us in 2 Corinthians 10, enabling us to take our thoughts captive to obedience in Christ. We are already his, and he wants us to have a victorious life.
"Tell yourselves that in Christ you are loved with an everlasting love," Dr. Boyd suggests. "In Christ you are the apple of God's eye; in Christ you ravish the heart of God. He has a burning love for you. You are seated with Christ in the heavenly places. He has robed you in righteousness. You are holy and spotless before him. You're his kid; you're his bride; you're his friend; you're his lover."
Inferiority Complex
Having that assurance of Christ's love for us, it's disheartening to hear the frustration expressed by one of our friends who had been struggling for years with depression, "I feel so inferior to those Christians who aren't suffering from depression. I feel like I should be doing more -- reading my Bible more or praying more. I never seem to be able to do enough."
Performance-based thinking can hinder the victorious life in Christ. Jeff Van Vonderen views that type of religious thinking in his book, Tired of Trying To Measure Up (Bethany House Publishers, 1989). "Performance-based religion shames people for struggling, asking, doubting, feeling or restingand for not complying, reading, giving, attending or doing," says Van Vonderen (p. 75). He illustrates the compassion Jesus had for those who were suffering and how his compassion negates performance-based religion.
Jesus never shames anyone for being depressed. His expectations are always love-motivated and encouraging. But often those in depression are weighed down with the unrealistic expectations of themselves or others.
We know that Satan loves to burden us with a yoke of slavery such as depression. He's the subtle deceiver, the father of lies. He makes accusations of guilt when there are none and causes unnecessary shame. Our help is in Jesus Christ. He is our only Master. He has not burdened us, nor condemned us. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). We have Christ's acceptance, and victory in him! 1 John 5:5 says, "Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."
Overcomers
In many ways our friends in the Bible study group are becoming overcomers, but several find it difficult to overcome and go beyond guilt feelings about their prescription drugs. In a positive approach to that thinking, Dr. Al Larson remarks, "The drug many times can stabilize people chemically so that they can work on their belief systems, their thought processes, their environment, or some other things that are going on in their lives."
A support group can provide encouragement, fellowship and self-identity. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 shows the encouragement gained by praising God for his mercy and comfort when we are in the midst of trials. By praising God in our trials, we in turn may be able to comfort those who are suffering.
Interspersed throughout the reasons we found for false guilt and the ways of handling it, is the humanity of our Lord Jesus. He knew every suffering we have suffered, and every pain we have is his pain. It is his pain on the cross that leads us to his grace, which is absolutely precious and undeserved. It's a gift freely given, based on Christ's performance, not ours. We have the assurance found in Ephesians 2:8-9, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast."
If you are dealing with depression -- remember your freedoms. You are free from unnecessary guilt and condemnation. God loves you and has given you the greatest gift of freedom and grace in his Son, Jesus Christ. John 8:36 reads, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
Tomorrow has two handles: grace and guilt. You alone can decide which one to grab hold of.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Martha (Marti) Wolowicz lives with her husband Tony in St. Paul, Minnesota. They have adult children. Her articles have appeared in Decision, The Upper Room, Virtue magazine and others. Visit the PTM website at http://www.ptm.org for more information and sources of help for depression. The New Life Clinics offer information and Christian counseling referrals throughout the U.S. Call 1-800-NEW-LIFE.
Holding Tight to the Handle of Grace
1) Know your worth in Christ. Don't accept the erroneous judgment of others (Romans 8:1).
2) Don't expect yourself to be perfect -- only Christ can perfect his work in you (2 Corinthians 12:9).
3) You are not condemned. You are a new creature in Christ (Romans 7:5-6).
4) Discern any guilt you feel by New Testament standards (Proverbs 2:1-5).
5) Replace those negative feelings with thoughts that are true and pure (Philippians 4:8).
6) Free yourself from unrealistic expectations (Galatians 5:1).
7) Realize that you are an overcomer through Christ (1 John 5:5).
8) You are not alone. Have contact with others who are dealing with false guilt and depression (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
9) Accept God's rich grace, and be renewed in the Word daily (Ephesians 2:8-9).
10) Worship regularly (Psalms 34:1-3).
-- Martha N. Wolowicz
Feel Better Faster
Once you've seen your doctor, there are steps you can take to feel better faster. Even if you're just feeling blue, following these suggestions could keep a depressed mood from spiraling into clinical depression:
1) Exercise! Recent studies show that people who exercise regularly are less likely to be depressed. According to James Blumenthal, professor of medical psychology at Duke University, "For some clinically depressed patients, exercise is as effective as the best medications we have." The positive effect is long-lasting, too. One study showed that those who exercised regularly for nearly 20 years were one and a half times less likely to become depressed as those who exercise sporadically. "Exercise is a way of doing something positive for yourself -- often a first step toward breaking the cycle of depression," says Stanford University psychiatrist C. Barr Taylor.
2) Avoid drugs and alcohol. Both can make you more depressed.
3) Try to be outside every day. Exposure to natural sunlight may help you overcome depression.
4) Eat a well-balanced diet. Limit your intake of caffeine and refined sugar.
5) Take vitamin and mineral supplements. Dr. Archibald Hart recommends that depressed people take vitamin B complex.
6) Take inventory of your life. What activities make you feel worse? What makes you feel better? Choose to do activities that make you feel better. Is there sin you need to confess? Confess it, and let God forgive you. Then forgive yourself.
7) Don't suffer alone. Write or talk to a friend, and share your thoughts and feelings. Remember, God is the best friend any of us have, and he is always willing to listen. Don't be afraid to pour your heart out to him. You can be honest. He will never reject you because you're struggling.
8) Associate with encouraging people.
9) Do something to help someone else. Encourage a friend who is struggling. Pray for people in need. Your prayers will make a difference.
10) Do something creative that lets you express yourself, like writing, painting or drawing.
11) Make yourself get out of bed and do something every day. If you have a job, go to work. If you are in school, attend classes. If you are home, make plans that will force you to get up, get dressed and get going.
Elizabeth Stalcup http://.ptm.org[/size]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Performance-based religion shames people for struggling, asking, doubting, feeling or resting...and for not complying, reading, giving, attending or doing."
Jeff VanVonderen,Tired of Trying to Measure Up
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As we clasped hands in prayer at our women's Bible study, the pain my friends were feeling jolted through us like a charge of electricity. Words spilled out, one after another.
"I can't quit the medication because my depression gets even worse. I guess I'm not a good Christian if I can't control my depression without it," cried a young housewife. "Because depression is of the mind, I should be able to control it. But I can't do that even though I feel close to the Lord," confessed a retired widow.
These were painful words from women who needed more than just our encouragement and concern. They needed hope and renewal. My friends are among the growing number of women suffering from depression, and that depression often creates feelings of guilt, especially among Christians. As we began to talk about this pain, one woman timidly spoke up, "Some of the members of my church told me if my faith was strong enough I could handle my depression, but I can't. So I constantly have to defend my faith and my illness."
Depression Affects Christians
"The Christian's struggle with depression is fueled by the erroneous or well-meaning judgment of others," says Dr. Al Larson of Dynamics of Growth, Inc., St. Paul, Minnesota. As a counselor, Dr. Larson sees some ignorance in the body of Christ in regard to emotional problems. "There's a tendency in the church to put on facades about life (which is at times perpetuated by elders, pastors and people in authority). This gives a message that people need to act a certain way emotionally or look a certain way -- as if they have no problems. If people live outside those boundaries, as they do in cases of depression, they are assumed to be in sin, possibly possessed, uncaring and not wanting to get well -- or most often, they are assumed to have a lack of faith."
Similarly, the assumption that our weaknesses and illnesses will only be healed if we have enough faith can add to the weight of negative feelings, including guilt. "I was brought up in a strict church which associated healing or answers to prayer with how much faith we had or how much we did to gain it," voiced a young mother. "It's hard to rise above those learned attitudes. I still have depression, so does that mean I don't have enough faith to be healed?"
Two Types of Guilt
It's difficult to suffer from the anxiety of depression and the inability to stay in control (with medication or without), but it's even more difficult when others question the depression in relation to faith. Just what type of guilt is it that is so often associated with depression in Christians, and what can be done to overcome it?
Our group decided that a good way to begin answering this question was to investigate and define the various types of guilt. Author Becca Cowan Johnson compares two types of guilt in her book, Good Guilt, Bad Guilt and What to Do With Each (InterVarsity Press, 1996). She describes good guilt as convicting guilt -- the guilt which leads to confession and forgiveness -- and bad guilt as untrue,
unfounded guilt leading to self-condemnation. She points out that good guilt drives us to the Lord, and bad guilt is a time-waster, resource-user and energy-drainer. It's destructive to relationships, productivity and creativity. But just how do we get sucked into the bad guilt?
Our group generally agreed that perfectionist thinking was one causative factor in the guilt associated with depression. Discouragement is the end result of our striving to achieve our own perfection in relationships with God and others. It's often easy to lose sight of the fact that only Christ can do the work of perfecting in us.
A religion based on law and tradition also perpetuates false guilt. Those in our group who experienced that type of religion have concern at the importance placed on the law rather than on the freedom gained through Christ. That misplaced importance can produce a weight of self-condemnation and a false assumption of God's condemnation. As we continued our discussion, we found hope in the book of Romans which reveals the new life we have in the Spirit. Romans 7:6 says, "But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code."
Negative messages bind us every day, and those messages seem to be even more acute when there is depression. Just how do we live in the new way of the Spirit when we are bombarded with negative guilt messages: those we tell ourselves and those put on us by others? We alone choose what we put into our memory banks, so we need to develop new, healthy messages to replace the negative ones.
Defined by The Word
Speaking on depression, Dr. Greg Boyd, pastor, author and professor at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, confirmed our need for positive feelings. "When you're wearing dark glasses, the world is a very dark place. In Philippians, Paul tells us that we should think on things that are good, things that are true and things that are beautiful. We need to concentrate on these things when we're in a state of gloom. This is an act of discipleship on our part, an act of discipline in the middle of gloom to turn our minds towards what is true and begin to think about God's Word." Dr. Boyd continued, "Don't be defined by the problems of depression. Be defined by the Word of God."
God's Word defines us as his new creations by assuring us who we are in Christ. God has given us the tools through the Holy Spirit to break down barriers, as he tells us in 2 Corinthians 10, enabling us to take our thoughts captive to obedience in Christ. We are already his, and he wants us to have a victorious life.
"Tell yourselves that in Christ you are loved with an everlasting love," Dr. Boyd suggests. "In Christ you are the apple of God's eye; in Christ you ravish the heart of God. He has a burning love for you. You are seated with Christ in the heavenly places. He has robed you in righteousness. You are holy and spotless before him. You're his kid; you're his bride; you're his friend; you're his lover."
Inferiority Complex
Having that assurance of Christ's love for us, it's disheartening to hear the frustration expressed by one of our friends who had been struggling for years with depression, "I feel so inferior to those Christians who aren't suffering from depression. I feel like I should be doing more -- reading my Bible more or praying more. I never seem to be able to do enough."
Performance-based thinking can hinder the victorious life in Christ. Jeff Van Vonderen views that type of religious thinking in his book, Tired of Trying To Measure Up (Bethany House Publishers, 1989). "Performance-based religion shames people for struggling, asking, doubting, feeling or restingand for not complying, reading, giving, attending or doing," says Van Vonderen (p. 75). He illustrates the compassion Jesus had for those who were suffering and how his compassion negates performance-based religion.
Jesus never shames anyone for being depressed. His expectations are always love-motivated and encouraging. But often those in depression are weighed down with the unrealistic expectations of themselves or others.
We know that Satan loves to burden us with a yoke of slavery such as depression. He's the subtle deceiver, the father of lies. He makes accusations of guilt when there are none and causes unnecessary shame. Our help is in Jesus Christ. He is our only Master. He has not burdened us, nor condemned us. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). We have Christ's acceptance, and victory in him! 1 John 5:5 says, "Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."
Overcomers
In many ways our friends in the Bible study group are becoming overcomers, but several find it difficult to overcome and go beyond guilt feelings about their prescription drugs. In a positive approach to that thinking, Dr. Al Larson remarks, "The drug many times can stabilize people chemically so that they can work on their belief systems, their thought processes, their environment, or some other things that are going on in their lives."
A support group can provide encouragement, fellowship and self-identity. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 shows the encouragement gained by praising God for his mercy and comfort when we are in the midst of trials. By praising God in our trials, we in turn may be able to comfort those who are suffering.
Interspersed throughout the reasons we found for false guilt and the ways of handling it, is the humanity of our Lord Jesus. He knew every suffering we have suffered, and every pain we have is his pain. It is his pain on the cross that leads us to his grace, which is absolutely precious and undeserved. It's a gift freely given, based on Christ's performance, not ours. We have the assurance found in Ephesians 2:8-9, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast."
If you are dealing with depression -- remember your freedoms. You are free from unnecessary guilt and condemnation. God loves you and has given you the greatest gift of freedom and grace in his Son, Jesus Christ. John 8:36 reads, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
Tomorrow has two handles: grace and guilt. You alone can decide which one to grab hold of.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Martha (Marti) Wolowicz lives with her husband Tony in St. Paul, Minnesota. They have adult children. Her articles have appeared in Decision, The Upper Room, Virtue magazine and others. Visit the PTM website at http://www.ptm.org for more information and sources of help for depression. The New Life Clinics offer information and Christian counseling referrals throughout the U.S. Call 1-800-NEW-LIFE.
Holding Tight to the Handle of Grace
1) Know your worth in Christ. Don't accept the erroneous judgment of others (Romans 8:1).
2) Don't expect yourself to be perfect -- only Christ can perfect his work in you (2 Corinthians 12:9).
3) You are not condemned. You are a new creature in Christ (Romans 7:5-6).
4) Discern any guilt you feel by New Testament standards (Proverbs 2:1-5).
5) Replace those negative feelings with thoughts that are true and pure (Philippians 4:8).
6) Free yourself from unrealistic expectations (Galatians 5:1).
7) Realize that you are an overcomer through Christ (1 John 5:5).
8) You are not alone. Have contact with others who are dealing with false guilt and depression (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
9) Accept God's rich grace, and be renewed in the Word daily (Ephesians 2:8-9).
10) Worship regularly (Psalms 34:1-3).
-- Martha N. Wolowicz
Feel Better Faster
Once you've seen your doctor, there are steps you can take to feel better faster. Even if you're just feeling blue, following these suggestions could keep a depressed mood from spiraling into clinical depression:
1) Exercise! Recent studies show that people who exercise regularly are less likely to be depressed. According to James Blumenthal, professor of medical psychology at Duke University, "For some clinically depressed patients, exercise is as effective as the best medications we have." The positive effect is long-lasting, too. One study showed that those who exercised regularly for nearly 20 years were one and a half times less likely to become depressed as those who exercise sporadically. "Exercise is a way of doing something positive for yourself -- often a first step toward breaking the cycle of depression," says Stanford University psychiatrist C. Barr Taylor.
2) Avoid drugs and alcohol. Both can make you more depressed.
3) Try to be outside every day. Exposure to natural sunlight may help you overcome depression.
4) Eat a well-balanced diet. Limit your intake of caffeine and refined sugar.
5) Take vitamin and mineral supplements. Dr. Archibald Hart recommends that depressed people take vitamin B complex.
6) Take inventory of your life. What activities make you feel worse? What makes you feel better? Choose to do activities that make you feel better. Is there sin you need to confess? Confess it, and let God forgive you. Then forgive yourself.
7) Don't suffer alone. Write or talk to a friend, and share your thoughts and feelings. Remember, God is the best friend any of us have, and he is always willing to listen. Don't be afraid to pour your heart out to him. You can be honest. He will never reject you because you're struggling.
8) Associate with encouraging people.
9) Do something to help someone else. Encourage a friend who is struggling. Pray for people in need. Your prayers will make a difference.
10) Do something creative that lets you express yourself, like writing, painting or drawing.
11) Make yourself get out of bed and do something every day. If you have a job, go to work. If you are in school, attend classes. If you are home, make plans that will force you to get up, get dressed and get going.
Elizabeth Stalcup http://.ptm.org[/size]
