Don't wait to repent

[dave91]

I am an apostate and I can't come to Jesus anymore. I lost my chance (Hebrews 4:1). I'm getting worse and worse. I passed the point of no return and I can no longer believe, no longer repent, no longer being free from my sins, no longer do any good work, no longer love God and receive His love, I'm just nothing. I'm just expecting fearfully the Judgement Day. The only reason why God keeps me alive is to use me to show people what happens if you keep sinning willfully without repenting. If you go on and on and on, there will come a point where you're not gonna be able repent, even if you realise your wretchedness and want to repent. 2 Peter 2:20.

I'm not expecting any reply. I don't want a pity party. I am not to be pitied. I am extremely evil and I got just what I deserve. I chose death, I chose darkness, that's exactly what I get. It's REALLY over for me. I tried anything, there's nothing I can do. I'm just bound to sin forever. That's what I chose. I just didn't expect that I would not be able to turn away from that path when I'd want to. Yes there's a too late.

 

[Xenopickett]

Yes, I whish I could love Jesus. But I don't feel it at all. I try to be as grateful as possible for what he did, but it doesn't transpose into feeling od love and into a longing to make his will.

I totally agree with what you said in the last paragraph. It's sanctification. As your christian life passes, God will show you things that you need to change with time. And you will do it with love. But me, it's everything at the same time, and it's a feeling of : "you're guilty of this, this, this this and that, and it shows that you don't belong to me". So as I feel guilty, I abstain from the things that I know are bad, and from all the sins of my heart. But I do it out of fear, not out of love. And I'm not renewed with new desires, only accusations thoughts, condemnation. I'm being crushed and going crazy

Again there is a possibility of Satan attacking you because your so close that he is afraid he is is about to be outed. Accusations are Satan. Discussions of Why is this wrong and why is it hurting me and others? IF you Love it is both in emotion and in choice. The love emotion will fill in as your doing it to others to care about them. If you learn why by doing thought experiments on their dangers which will take time and learning, Then you grasp the why their bad. For Example: Why is Adultery/Lust condemned? Because of its consequence's and how it devalues what the meaning of those parts of a relationship is. a.k.a. Sex for fun is bad because it is the very process of giving a piece of yourself to you partner and the chemical bonding made through it to give a strong relationship. Along with bringing new life into the world. If you only value your partner for their looks then give no consideration to their personality then they are a doll. A Sex toy that can move but you have to feed etc. If someone did that to you it would feel like Rape no? So if you look at the way the Sin is capable of causing suffering then you can see the truth. It requires self investment and reading but also study and to try to look from God's perspective: The Ultimate Parent. He said that he knows everything so he feels hurt when we don't trust him and he wants us to understand he loves us more than anything and that he wants what's best for us and just wants the love and appreciation for it. But because he is a God that's why it need to be worship, but in the end Worship is done through the actions. And his status as a king is why there are certain ways he wants to be treated, Because he is the ultimate leader. Sorry if i get busy and don't see this till much later if you reply but please try to take the new perspective and just give it your best. He said he believes in you that you can do it and hell help you you may not see it but he is there and hears you. Once you understand they why the rest should follow. (Don't look for reasons not to do it. Not saying you are, just an important note for any who read it. That's all.) Jesus said that we will all suffer because it Is a War, (But also really a Court case with the GOD Father as Judge, Satan the prosecution and who is also making his case for his kingdom being better than God's. And Satan has lost the argument. Its just in the wrap up closing argument state.) And if we endure every trial, then Victory is the next instant after death. It will be when you die you see God Next. The very same instant.