Don't wait to repent

[dave91]

I am an apostate and I can't come to Jesus anymore. I lost my chance (Hebrews 4:1). I'm getting worse and worse. I passed the point of no return and I can no longer believe, no longer repent, no longer being free from my sins, no longer do any good work, no longer love God and receive His love, I'm just nothing. I'm just expecting fearfully the Judgement Day. The only reason why God keeps me alive is to use me to show people what happens if you keep sinning willfully without repenting. If you go on and on and on, there will come a point where you're not gonna be able repent, even if you realise your wretchedness and want to repent. 2 Peter 2:20.

I'm not expecting any reply. I don't want a pity party. I am not to be pitied. I am extremely evil and I got just what I deserve. I chose death, I chose darkness, that's exactly what I get. It's REALLY over for me. I tried anything, there's nothing I can do. I'm just bound to sin forever. That's what I chose. I just didn't expect that I would not be able to turn away from that path when I'd want to. Yes there's a too late.

 

[Zeth4500]

That's a good idea but frankly I don't have any energy to make all the procedures to get into the army and I'm not sure my fitness level would pass the test. I keep hoping for the Apocalypse to come soon. God's plan for me I think is to use me to show people what can happen if you "play with sin", how wretched you can become.

I haven't totally stopped my gross regular sins, but almost. I quitted smoking, I quited drinking, and I went from masturbating every night to only once every two or three weeks. I control my sex drive much more, but I still have sexual thoughts sometime. It's those sexual sins that I just don't see how I could overcome them one day. It will not be possible on my own actually. Apart from that I try to make good things, to love people, but I'm not driven by the H.S so there's nothing good I do actually.

well mercenary would be easier, some months before i accepted christ i myself sent out a proposal to join a mercenary group as ive always liked action and would rather have a quick death with glory, or at least some interesting stories to tell
even though.. going to war might be very unchristian

i dont understand how you fail to resist the sexual temptations? before i comitted myself i kept myself from masturbating for 4.5 years- not that i was completely free from sin in that time though. if you have a porn addiction it can take as much as 3 months to overcome it, it took me 2 months, i would check once a week and after about 2 months it simply didnt stimulate me one bit anymore. its a very real addiction.

 

[for_his_glory]

Cried out to God many times, spending time with Him, asking Him to change my heart, attending church. But I guess God knows my heart and He see there's nothing good in my motives. He knows me better than myself so I won't complain about Him not helping me.

I may be wrong and please do not be offended, but listening to you what I see in you is someone that has not ever fully surrendered everything that is in you or commited your self to God fully as one who would rather pleasure yourself lusting after worldly ways. It's never to late for anyone until they are physically dead for after death comes judgement.

God will work with you, but it's up to you to let Him have total control over your life to help you overcome the sins of this world that are drawing you away from God's mercy and grace. The only thing that is stopping you is you yourself.


Col 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
Col 3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
Col 3:4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
Col 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
Col 3:6 For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
Col 3:7 In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.
Col 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Col 3:9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
Col 3:10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:
Col 3:11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
Col 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Col 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Col 3:14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
Col 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

 

[dave91]

I may be wrong and please do not be offended, but listening to you what I see in you is someone that has not ever fully surrendered everything that is in you or commited your self to God fully as one who would rather pleasure yourself lusting after worldly ways. It's never to late for anyone until they are physically dead for after death comes judgement.

God will work with you, but it's up to you to let Him have total control over your life to help you overcome the sins of this world that are drawing you away from God's mercy and grace. The only thing that is stopping you is you yourself.


Col 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
Col 3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
Col 3:4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
Col 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
Col 3:6 For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
Col 3:7 In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.
Col 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Col 3:9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
Col 3:10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:
Col 3:11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
Col 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Col 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Col 3:14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
Col 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

I THINK I am willing, but so there are so many things that I realized I had to surrender at the same time. Some gross sins, some inner sins, some bad habits that I all gave up. But now I just don't know how to enjoy myself anymore, I feel like everything I want to do apart from spending time with God is sin. I used to like listening music.

Yesterday I was feeling better and I put on a non-christian metal band which I know their lyrics are mostly about fantasy stuff, so I didn't think they are a band that I should avoir... But somehow, I felt like I was sinning. I felt like since I was listening to non-christian music, my heart was into the world and not with God. So I felt guilty, and that I it was ANOTHER thing that I should get rid of... Yes I am willing, or at least I think I am willing to put God in the very first place in my life, but do I need to do ANYTHING for Him. Can't I enjoy myself anymore ? I know there's a sanctification process while we are on this earth and that the more we grow in faith, the more we will surrender ourselves to God.

But in my case, it feels as so everything came at the same time. I ALWAYS feel like I do something wrong. Sometimes I make jokes with my colleagues, and even if the jokes aren't vulgar at all, I feel guilty. I feel guilty sometimes just by the way I interact with people, I'm always wondering if I did anything wrong... It's unbearable. I think it's because I don't really rest in Christ, but rather I trust in my work to prove myself that my faith is genuine or something... I'm totally confused.

 

[dave91]

And by the way I begged Him so many time to just take my life and do whatever he wants with my life, to change my heart, to make me hate sins and to give me new desires, etc. But he has done nothing with that. Yes I still struggle with sins, and there's still a part of me that wants sin. I feel it, even if I try my hardest to hate it. So if God doesn't change my heart, there's nothing i can do. If he hasn't grant me my prayers, I guess it's because I went too far and I can't be sincere anymore. God sees the depths of my heart, I guess he sees that I come to Him with selfish desires, even if I try to be sincere and to truly want Him to be the throne of my heart.

 

[WIP]

And by the way I begged Him so many time to just take my life and do whatever he wants with my life, to change my heart, to make me hate sins and to give me new desires, etc. But he has done nothing with that. Yes I still struggle with sins, and there's still a part of me that wants sin. I feel it, even if I try my hardest to hate it. So if God doesn't change my heart, there's nothing i can do. If he hasn't grant me my prayers, I guess it's because I went too far and I can't be sincere anymore. God sees the depths of my heart, I guess he sees that I come to Him with selfish desires, even if I try to be sincere and to truly want Him to be the throne of my heart.

Okay, so basically you have decided what God is to do. As with most of us, we like to put God in our box and presume to control God to meet our definition of what and whom He shall be. Who are we to decide something like that? It's the age old problem. We desire to be our own god rather than surrender ourselves to THE God. God is our Creator, not the other way around. Until you give up and let "Jesus take the wheel," as Carrie Underwood put it, you will forever struggle.

 

[dave91]

Okay, so basically you have decided what God is to do. As with most of us, we like to put God in our box and presume to control God to meet our definition of what and whom He shall be. Who are we to decide something like that? It's the age old problem. We desire to be our own god rather than surrender ourselves to THE God. God is our Creator, not the other way around. Until you give up and let "Jesus take the wheel," as Carrie Underwood put it, you will forever struggle.

Read my post again, I think you misread. I asked Him to help me do His will basically.

 

[WIP]

Read my post again, I think you misread. I asked Him to help me do His will basically.

Yes, but you also indicated that He didn't respond to you fast enough to satisfy you and that was my point.

 

[for_his_glory]

Yes I am willing, or at least I think I am willing to put God in the very first place in my life, but do I need to do ANYTHING for Him. Can't I enjoy myself anymore ?

What God wants of us is our love for Him and His Son Christ Jesus and to love our neighbor as we love ourself. Matthew 23:31-40 shows us the continued works of the Lord that we need to be walking in.

Sometimes the things we use to enjoyed of the pleasures/lust of this world are no longer a part of who we are now or enjoy anymore since we are now in Christ and He in us. There is nothing wrong with many secular songs or movies and games we play as long as these things do not draw us away from the Lord. I like Country, but not all Country, I like Classic Rock , but again not all. I like a lot of different genres. You might even find other things that will interest you as far as having fun enjoying your life and meeting new people.

So many say this is a sin or that is a sin, but I tell you, if the Holy Spirit convicts you then you know what you are doing is wrong. None of us are perfect while living in this fleshly body where the nature to sin exist, but this I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. Galatians 5:16-17.

 

[Zeth4500]

if you feel uncomfortable about music- then your intuition might be right, maybe its simply god trying to direct you away from it, its well known that much music, metal especially is cursed with demons. you may listen it sparingly but i would advice against it if youre in difficult times, be as pure as possible rather. you have an egocentric drive for pleasure and this is one addiction you have to curb as pleasure has become your master, believing that you must have pleasure

 

[dave91]

Yes, but you also indicated that He didn't respond to you fast enough to satisfy you and that was my point.

Bit why wouldn't he respond to that prayer ? Isn't it the most honest prayer to pray, to change my heart and help me make his will ? I'm not praying for selfish desires, I'm praying that he change me and help me being obedient.

 

[dave91]

if you feel uncomfortable about music- then your intuition might be right, maybe its simply god trying to direct you away from it, its well known that much music, metal especially is cursed with demons. you may listen it sparingly but i would advice against it if youre in difficult times, be as pure as possible rather. you have an egocentric drive for pleasure and this is one addiction you have to curb as pleasure has become your master, believing that you must have pleasure

Yes I get that. It's just that everything things arrive at the same time. I surrendered so many things already. Things that I'm totally agree that were wrongs. It's just that the list is so long and now being convicted to let go some non-christians band that only tell things about fantasy ? I mean, if that's what God wants, I'll do it, it's just that I feel crushed by all those things that he convicted me of and I feel like he keeps showing me things, but without really change my heart, a heart that is more prone to serving God and serving others. I wish I had that in myself, but I don't.

So outwarldly I surrendered many sins, many bad desires, but inwardly I feel like the exact same person that still love the same stuff, but abstain from having them. I feel like the law just keep condemning me, and I'm like "ok, I'll change that", but I have no help from the H.S. I don't have new desires, so I have no desire at all. That's why I think I just blasphemed the H.S by living in sins willfully, thinking that I could just enhoy sins and repent later. I'm totally crushed by my guilt feeling, and by the feeling that anything i wanna do is bad, and that everything I think about is bad. I don't know what to do with my life, I lost interest for anything and I feel that i my heart I still love my old stuff (but I hate them at the same time) and that I have to give them up by myself, without any help from the Holy Spirit to give me new desires to serve Him.

 

[dave91]

What God wants of us is our love for Him and His Son Christ Jesus and to love our neighbor as we love ourself. Matthew 23:31-40 shows us the continued works of the Lord that we need to be walking in.

Sometimes the things we use to enjoyed of the pleasures/lust of this world are no longer a part of who we are now or enjoy anymore since we are now in Christ and He in us. There is nothing wrong with many secular songs or movies and games we play as long as these things do not draw us away from the Lord. I like Country, but not all Country, I like Classic Rock , but again not all. I like a lot of different genres. You might even find other things that will interest you as far as having fun enjoying your life and meeting new people.

So many say this is a sin or that is a sin, but I tell you, if the Holy Spirit convicts you then you know what you are doing is wrong. None of us are perfect while living in this fleshly body where the nature to sin exist, but this I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. Galatians 5:16-17.

Yes, I whish I could love Jesus. But I don't feel it at all. I try to be as grateful as possible for what he did, but it doesn't transpose into feeling od love and into a longing to make his will.

I totally agree with what you said in the last paragraph. It's sanctification. As your christian life passes, God will show you things that you need to change with time. And you will do it with love. But me, it's everything at the same time, and it's a feeling of : "you're guilty of this, this, this this and that, and it shows that you don't belong to me". So as I feel guilty, I abstain from the things that I know are bad, and from all the sins of my heart. But I do it out of fear, not out of love. And I'm not renewed with new desires, only accusations thoughts, condemnation. I'm being crushed and going crazy

 

[WIP]

Bit why wouldn't he respond to that prayer ? Isn't it the most honest prayer to pray, to change my heart and help me make his will ? I'm not praying for selfish desires, I'm praying that he change me and help me being obedient.

Who am I to know the mind of God? Scripture tells us to be persistent in prayer. How persistent? That's up to God to decide. Even Jesus, the very Son of God Himself, prayed for deliverance while here on earth.

He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
Luke 22:41-44 NKJV

He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy. So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.
Matthew 26:38-44 NKJV

Even though He prayed for deliverance He never lost sight of the fact that it is all up to God. This is evident in His words, "Not as I will, but as You will."

We know the rest of the story. Despite His prayers, He still endured the mockery, humiliation, slapping, flogging, beating, whipping, the flesh being ripped from His body, spikes driven through his hands and feet, and being hung on a cross to die a slow death. Through it all He remained faithful to God the Father and still had the will to forgive even those who crucified Him.

Happy Easter! To God be the glory!!!

Don't be fooled by the prosperity gospel that teaches that faith in God promises a wealthy comfortable life here on earth with no hardships or sickness. The true gospel is that through faith in Jesus we can have the hope of eternal life with Him in heaven and there we will find no more sickness, no more sorrow, no more mourning, no more pain, no more death (Revelation 21:4).

 

[Zeth4500]

"ok, I'll change that"

i think what youre really struggling with is accepting that these things are wrong. you acknowledge theyre wrong but you dont really understand and deeply accept it
i still listen electronic music despite the genres i like are usually made and enjoyed by drugaddicts- you gotta find a balance, especially if you wanna progress you gotta taper off and get guidance along the way, going cold turkey in anything can be an issue

if you suffer from one feeling meditate on it and become one with it and stay in it until youre through with it

 

[for_his_glory]

Yes, I whish I could love Jesus. But I don't feel it at all. I try to be as grateful as possible for what he did, but it doesn't transpose into feeling od love and into a longing to make his will.

I totally agree with what you said in the last paragraph. It's sanctification. As your christian life passes, God will show you things that you need to change with time. And you will do it with love. But me, it's everything at the same time, and it's a feeling of : "you're guilty of this, this, this this and that, and it shows that you don't belong to me". So as I feel guilty, I abstain from the things that I know are bad, and from all the sins of my heart. But I do it out of fear, not out of love. And I'm not renewed with new desires, only accusations thoughts, condemnation. I'm being crushed and going crazy

We are guilty of our sins, but for God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life, John 3:16.

After Peter gave his first sermon on the day of Pentecost when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, Acts 2:37-39.

How can you not love someone who sacrificed His own life laying it down so we can be forgiven of our sins and have eternal life with Christ Jesus. You are being oppressed like Paul's thorn in the flesh in 2 Corinthians 12:1-10.

 

[Randy]

Sorry, I didn't understand all your message. Can you reformulate ?

I don't know if I still want to sin. I don't sin, and I try not to, but maybe yes that's what I want.

From what I read of what you wrote you believe Jesus exists and is Lord. So if He asked you "Do you want to do evil?" and you answer "No Lord I don't want to do evil" its not to late. You still believe in Him. You have not turned away in unbelief and denied Him. Nothing is impossible with God.

 

[dave91]

From what I read of what you wrote you believe Jesus exists and is Lord. So if He asked you "Do you want to do evil?" and you answer "No Lord I don't want to do evil" its not to late. You still believe in Him. You have not turned away in unbelief and denied Him. Nothing is impossible with God.

Today, I would indeed answer that. But when I was in the world willfully, I would have answered "well, I will enjoy my sins for a while but eventually I'll come back." And yes, I did deny Him in my deeds and even in my words a few times.

 

[Randy]

Today, I would indeed answer that. But when I was in the world willfully, I would have answered "well, I will enjoy my sins for a while but eventually I'll come back." And yes, I did deny Him in my deeds and even in my words a few times.

Faith - Its in His ability to heal you. If you want to get well.