Ethics and Surgery

[WIP]

I have a question. Back in January, 2012, my wife slipped on icy steps at work. She didn't even fall but managed to catch herself with the handrailing but she did feel a pull in her leg and just figured it was a muscle cramp. She finished her day at work and went home. Over the course of the next couple days, she went from minor pain to being unable to walk. We took her in and they determined she had three herniated disks in her back and went into surgery to try and make repairs. The surgery made it possible for her to walk again but to this day she continues with pain and numbness in her back and legs. She lives on a gallon bag full of various medications for pain, depression, and side effects. After years of putting it off for a couple reasons, next Tuesday she is scheduled for surgery to fuse three vertebrae in her back and the hope is she'll be able to get relief and discontinue with most if not all the meds.

Here's my question. The hospital is telling us it is a long surgery and we can expect it to take 6-8 hours. Is it wrong or insensitive for me to not want to sit in the hospital lobby for those 6-8 hours doing nothing? I'm asking because my mother-in-law thinks it is. When I asked why, she said, "What if there's an emergency?" My reply was, "If there's an emergency, what can I do about it by being there and what better place for her to be than in the hospital? Plus, they can call me if I should come in."

I know the last time she had surgery she had trouble with fluid in her lungs, her blood oxygen levels dropping off, and her heart even stopped at one point. I was only told by the staff she had to be moved to intensive care for observation. She actually told me why three days later when she came out of ICU.

 

[Free]

That's a long surgery. I think it's fine if you leave. You are correct in that there is absolutely nothing you can do if something goes wrong. As I see it, there is no point sitting around in uncomfortable waiting room chairs for hours at a time, if you can be productive elsewhere.

I've spent a good amount of time waiting during my wife's surgeries; maybe 6 hours one time including while she's in recovery. They generally never mentioned how long they would take, so I would mostly wait around and read. But there were times I would leave, even if it was just to walk the immediate neighbourhood and grab a coffee or bite to eat. They just asked for a contact number in case they need to get a hold of me.

 

[jasonc]

I waited that long for my wife's shoulder replacement .

 

[WIP]

That's a long surgery. I think it's fine if you leave. You are correct in that there is absolutely nothing you can do if something goes wrong. As I see it, there is no point sitting around in uncomfortable waiting room chairs for hours at a time, if you can be productive elsewhere.

I've spent a good amount of time waiting during my wife's surgeries; maybe 6 hours one time including while she's in recovery. They generally never mentioned how long they would take, so I would mostly wait around and read. But there were times I would leave, even if it was just to walk the immediate neighbourhood and grab a coffee or bite to eat. They just asked for a contact number in case they need to get a hold of me.

We live about 20 miles from the hospital so I figured if I don't stay in town I could go home and then return in about 5 hours or so. I figure it would at least be appropriate to be there when she comes out so she isn't waiting for me.

 

[hawkman]

I have a question. Back in January, 2012, my wife slipped on icy steps at work. She didn't even fall but managed to catch herself with the handrailing but she did feel a pull in her leg and just figured it was a muscle cramp. She finished her day at work and went home. Over the course of the next couple days, she went from minor pain to being unable to walk. We took her in and they determined she had three herniated disks in her back and went into surgery to try and make repairs. The surgery made it possible for her to walk again but to this day she continues with pain and numbness in her back and legs. She lives on a gallon bag full of various medications for pain, depression, and side effects. After years of putting it off for a couple reasons, next Tuesday she is scheduled for surgery to fuse three vertebrae in her back and the hope is she'll be able to get relief and discontinue with most if not all the meds.

Here's my question. The hospital is telling us it is a long surgery and we can expect it to take 6-8 hours. Is it wrong or insensitive for me to not want to sit in the hospital lobby for those 6-8 hours doing nothing? I'm asking because my mother-in-law thinks it is. When I asked why, she said, "What if there's an emergency?" My reply was, "If there's an emergency, what can I do about it by being there and what better place for her to be than in the hospital? Plus, they can call me if I should come in."

I know the last time she had surgery she had trouble with fluid in her lungs, her blood oxygen levels dropping off, and her heart even stopped at one point. I was only told by the staff she had to be moved to intensive care for observation. She actually told me why three days later when she came out of ICU.

Is you mother-in-law going to be there with your wife if you are not ? If the hospital can't reach you can your mother-in-law authorize a medical procedure that was not pre-authorize by the patient ? Why I ask . I went under the knife for routine gall bladder removal . My body is not straight up anymore and the surgeons found out they could not do the surgery laparoscopically, so my wife had to sign a paper so they could proceed with open surgery . The surgeons kept finding things I needed done and had my wife sign 4 more times during my surgery .

 

[Free]

We live about 20 miles from the hospital so I figured if I don't stay in town I could go home and then return in about 5 hours or so. I figure it would at least be appropriate to be there when she comes out so she isn't waiting for me.

20 miles is plenty close. Being there when she gets out is what matters.

 

[WIP]

Is you mother-in-law going to be there with your wife if you are not ? If the hospital can't reach you can your mother-in-law authorize a medical procedure that was not pre-authorize by the patient ? Why I ask . I went under the knife for routine gall bladder removal . My body is not straight up anymore and the surgeons found out they could not do the surgery laparoscopically, so my wife had to sign a paper so they could proceed with open surgery . The surgeons kept finding things I needed done and had my wife sign 4 more times during my surgery .

This is a good point.

 

[Christ_empowered]

maybe load your phone with games and go? I dunno ?‍ I had a friend…considerably older than you I think…

And her husband always waited during her surgeries. Once she had a crazy intense reaction to a anesthesia and he had to haggle to take her home and not have to deal with them transferring her to another unit for more observation etc.

But I dunno ?‍ I don’t think it is unethical to not stay the whole time I just think there are some potential but probably rare downsides to not being there the entire time.

 

[WIP]

maybe load your phone with games and go? I dunno ?‍ I had a friend…considerably older than you I think…

And her husband always waited during her surgeries. Once she had a crazy intense reaction to a anesthesia and he had to haggle to take her home and not have to deal with them transferring her to another unit for more observation etc.

But I dunno ?‍ I don’t think it is unethical to not stay the whole time I just think there are some potential but probably rare downsides to not being there the entire time.

A couple years ago, she had surgery to repair a rotator cuff and other issues in one shoulder. There were complications with the anesthesia resulting in fluid build-up in her lungs, her blood oxygen dropping dangerously low, and her heart stopping. They had to use the paddles to get her going again. For this reason they have been conducting a lot of tests now to be sure she is okay for surgery. As of yesterday, she was given a green light.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Is you mother-in-law going to be there with your wife if you are not ? If the hospital can't reach you can your mother-in-law authorize a medical procedure that was not pre-authorize by the patient ? Why I ask . I went under the knife for routine gall bladder removal . My body is not straight up anymore and the surgeons found out they could not do the surgery laparoscopically, so my wife had to sign a paper so they could proceed with open surgery . The surgeons kept finding things I needed done and had my wife sign 4 more times during my surgery .

That sounds like taking your car in for repairs and they keep findings things to fix.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

This sounds like a thread where everyone shares their surgery experiences.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

I have a question. Back in January, 2012, my wife slipped on icy steps at work. She didn't even fall but managed to catch herself with the handrailing but she did feel a pull in her leg and just figured it was a muscle cramp. She finished her day at work and went home. Over the course of the next couple days, she went from minor pain to being unable to walk. We took her in and they determined she had three herniated disks in her back and went into surgery to try and make repairs. The surgery made it possible for her to walk again but to this day she continues with pain and numbness in her back and legs. She lives on a gallon bag full of various medications for pain, depression, and side effects. After years of putting it off for a couple reasons, next Tuesday she is scheduled for surgery to fuse three vertebrae in her back and the hope is she'll be able to get relief and discontinue with most if not all the meds.

Here's my question. The hospital is telling us it is a long surgery and we can expect it to take 6-8 hours. Is it wrong or insensitive for me to not want to sit in the hospital lobby for those 6-8 hours doing nothing? I'm asking because my mother-in-law thinks it is. When I asked why, she said, "What if there's an emergency?" My reply was, "If there's an emergency, what can I do about it by being there and what better place for her to be than in the hospital? Plus, they can call me if I should come in."

I know the last time she had surgery she had trouble with fluid in her lungs, her blood oxygen levels dropping off, and her heart even stopped at one point. I was only told by the staff she had to be moved to intensive care for observation. She actually told me why three days later when she came out of ICU.

Except for when I delivered our children and one emergency surgery while on vacation, my husband never waited outside and it wouldn’t have occurred to me that he should have. So I think be there at the beginning and the end and leave your mobile phone number. What good does waiting do for a many hour surgery?

My sister had two lumbar discs fused and it helped the pain a lot so hoping this works.