citrus
Member
- Mar 10, 2023
- 644
- 418
So I grew out of my asthma, cancer gone. I now have an obstructive bladder and digestive problems. I have been having bad ear problems. I went to the doctor and she said it is not wax buildup and she is sorry that is nit what it is. Every once in a whole I can only hear my voice out of a tunnel and can't hear anyone. My ears pop like on a plane. Then I get a ache like an infection. This has gone on for six months. Now my eyes will try to shut involtary and I will hear a cracking noise in my other ear. I know not to jump to conclusions, but I looked up the tight close eye stuff and it said that if it gets worse that I won't be able to choose when to open or shut and there could be more problems. There isn't a lot of information on it. I think it is numerological. I am miserable. My mom took me to the doctor when they made sure it wasn't wax. I have been telling my mom ad dad this for six months. I don't drive. They said I had a seizure
They ran labs and found absolutely nothing. I think I just passed out because of dehydration. We had just gotten home from a vacation and I didn't drink much. I want to drive. Now with this. All downstairs problems. I don't want to end up deaf and blind. This is so hard to manage. I looked how botox near the eyes might help. My parents would say oh it is nothing you don't need botox you just want to look younger. I have not told them about the eye thing because I forget about it. Fortunately, it doesn't happen a lot. I know ear aches can go away on its own, but all these weird side effects and now sometimes my eyes go blurry when I'm on my phone. I don't know if that it needs to be less time on the phone because of the light. I know online exaggerates stuff. In worse senerio i don't want to go deaf and blind. The screen becomes blurry. Please pray for me. Onetime on a road trip I had to pee. I have an obtrusive bladder. There is no cure. It might be because of chemo. So there is a gas station. I say I have to pee and my dad says no you don't. I'm like you don't know my body. So finally I got to pee. When I was 25 with a bladder problem we would get ready to leave at my grandma's they would say go pee pee. In front of everyone
My cousin made fun of me. Finally my aunt spoke up. She's 25. I didn't get my bladder checked out for a long time. My parents said it was all in my mind and later after the doctor they finally took me to the doctor and never apologized. I also have a skin condition and my dad is like why are you so pale, why are you so red. You need sun. Sun is the worst thing I can do. I know all about what my conditions are and what is bad for them. If i told him about it he say oh your just worrying. It's all in your head nothing is wrong with you. When I have digestive problems they sat I need fast food and that would help. I tell them that is solving a problem by creating a new problem. I eat fast food a lot. Don't bite the hands who feed. Sometimes my dad cooks. He is great at it, but it is meat and potatoes sometimes corn. No veggies. I buy my own stuff, but I eat what they do. My mom says how skinny I am. My dad says you need to eat healthier foods. I am a normal weight. I'm close to where I need to be and I don't exercise. I have about 5 lbs I need to loose. No big deal. I need to move and it sit all day and afternoon. That is way to long. So I do stretches and mild movements when I can. I never get my heart rate up. I don't want to say my parents are monsters. They aren't and they love and take care of me, but I hate going to the store with my mom. I don't want anyone I know to see me walk around the store while she complains to me or asking me if I want lunchables. I'm like mom I buy my own stuff. I don't want it. I can never cry in front of my dad he gets mad. I know it sounds like they are horrible, but they aren't. They are just trying. If my dad passed away it would be a nightmare my mom has no idea how to do or fix anything. If I give her my phone she will mess it up. My dad can see through scammers ad fixes the tv. And computer and taxes, my disability abd everything. My disability is mental health. I ran away twice a really long time ago. Well I was staying with a friend. I told them where I was. I was just so mad at them. I will never do that again. It would break their hearts. They aren't so bad. I know they love me and try to keep up with bills and stuff. I get it. I'm in my 30s now. A lot of my friends have passed away. Who would take care if me if they died? We were talking about the future one day and how they might move here or do this and that. I am living on other people's lives. I do all the laundry and kitchen ect. I feel okay about it because they allow me to love there. Just doing my part in life. My mom would never be able to keep up. Anywho, they are like where will we be? Where will you be? Not talking about when they die, but I'm thinking do they think they are going to live forever and I am not going to get married just stay with them. They don't have a plan or think about it. So yah where will I be. Who knows? I can't go on without having my own stuff i worked hard for or want. I don't want to be in a facility with white walls those nurse clothes and have nothing and have to go to group like in a group home or whatever it is and not have a life but have to do everything they say to do. Will I have the decision fir who is going to take care of mom and dad when I can't help them. They never think about that stuff. Just like we are the way we are forever. My mom is mean. I get along more with my dad. Onetime we were in a store and they had no bathrooms and I'm like I gotta pee. She says oh good grief! Like I am a kid who didn't go before we left. I wanted to yell at her and say would you rather me be dead. I held my tongue. She always does this. Right when I think I am bonding with her she emotionally attacks me in some way. For ex. In the car I'm like my stomach hurts i don't want ti gi out to eat.My mom said, it's her fault! My dad said no her stomach hurts. Blah i love my parents. They love me and try to take care of me. I mean bills and taxes all that adult stuff gets hard. My mom has no common sense when it comes to scams and people at the door who could be criminals. I know they try and me and my dad hangout a lot. I never want to break his heart because I know he loves and takes care of me. They aren't hitting me or anything. I just need a lot of prayer. I'm in my 30s and having a birthday soon. Hopefully they will let me be a little more independent so I am not humiliated in front of people. Idk.
They ran labs and found absolutely nothing. I think I just passed out because of dehydration. We had just gotten home from a vacation and I didn't drink much. I want to drive. Now with this. All downstairs problems. I don't want to end up deaf and blind. This is so hard to manage. I looked how botox near the eyes might help. My parents would say oh it is nothing you don't need botox you just want to look younger. I have not told them about the eye thing because I forget about it. Fortunately, it doesn't happen a lot. I know ear aches can go away on its own, but all these weird side effects and now sometimes my eyes go blurry when I'm on my phone. I don't know if that it needs to be less time on the phone because of the light. I know online exaggerates stuff. In worse senerio i don't want to go deaf and blind. The screen becomes blurry. Please pray for me. Onetime on a road trip I had to pee. I have an obtrusive bladder. There is no cure. It might be because of chemo. So there is a gas station. I say I have to pee and my dad says no you don't. I'm like you don't know my body. So finally I got to pee. When I was 25 with a bladder problem we would get ready to leave at my grandma's they would say go pee pee. In front of everyone
My cousin made fun of me. Finally my aunt spoke up. She's 25. I didn't get my bladder checked out for a long time. My parents said it was all in my mind and later after the doctor they finally took me to the doctor and never apologized. I also have a skin condition and my dad is like why are you so pale, why are you so red. You need sun. Sun is the worst thing I can do. I know all about what my conditions are and what is bad for them. If i told him about it he say oh your just worrying. It's all in your head nothing is wrong with you. When I have digestive problems they sat I need fast food and that would help. I tell them that is solving a problem by creating a new problem. I eat fast food a lot. Don't bite the hands who feed. Sometimes my dad cooks. He is great at it, but it is meat and potatoes sometimes corn. No veggies. I buy my own stuff, but I eat what they do. My mom says how skinny I am. My dad says you need to eat healthier foods. I am a normal weight. I'm close to where I need to be and I don't exercise. I have about 5 lbs I need to loose. No big deal. I need to move and it sit all day and afternoon. That is way to long. So I do stretches and mild movements when I can. I never get my heart rate up. I don't want to say my parents are monsters. They aren't and they love and take care of me, but I hate going to the store with my mom. I don't want anyone I know to see me walk around the store while she complains to me or asking me if I want lunchables. I'm like mom I buy my own stuff. I don't want it. I can never cry in front of my dad he gets mad. I know it sounds like they are horrible, but they aren't. They are just trying. If my dad passed away it would be a nightmare my mom has no idea how to do or fix anything. If I give her my phone she will mess it up. My dad can see through scammers ad fixes the tv. And computer and taxes, my disability abd everything. My disability is mental health. I ran away twice a really long time ago. Well I was staying with a friend. I told them where I was. I was just so mad at them. I will never do that again. It would break their hearts. They aren't so bad. I know they love me and try to keep up with bills and stuff. I get it. I'm in my 30s now. A lot of my friends have passed away. Who would take care if me if they died? We were talking about the future one day and how they might move here or do this and that. I am living on other people's lives. I do all the laundry and kitchen ect. I feel okay about it because they allow me to love there. Just doing my part in life. My mom would never be able to keep up. Anywho, they are like where will we be? Where will you be? Not talking about when they die, but I'm thinking do they think they are going to live forever and I am not going to get married just stay with them. They don't have a plan or think about it. So yah where will I be. Who knows? I can't go on without having my own stuff i worked hard for or want. I don't want to be in a facility with white walls those nurse clothes and have nothing and have to go to group like in a group home or whatever it is and not have a life but have to do everything they say to do. Will I have the decision fir who is going to take care of mom and dad when I can't help them. They never think about that stuff. Just like we are the way we are forever. My mom is mean. I get along more with my dad. Onetime we were in a store and they had no bathrooms and I'm like I gotta pee. She says oh good grief! Like I am a kid who didn't go before we left. I wanted to yell at her and say would you rather me be dead. I held my tongue. She always does this. Right when I think I am bonding with her she emotionally attacks me in some way. For ex. In the car I'm like my stomach hurts i don't want ti gi out to eat.My mom said, it's her fault! My dad said no her stomach hurts. Blah i love my parents. They love me and try to take care of me. I mean bills and taxes all that adult stuff gets hard. My mom has no common sense when it comes to scams and people at the door who could be criminals. I know they try and me and my dad hangout a lot. I never want to break his heart because I know he loves and takes care of me. They aren't hitting me or anything. I just need a lot of prayer. I'm in my 30s and having a birthday soon. Hopefully they will let me be a little more independent so I am not humiliated in front of people. Idk.
yes I am just going through a difficult time. Just please pray for me. I'm not trying to be a drama queen just trying to get better. I am not a paranoid health freak. I just want to be semi healthy. .....