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hallowbonnie

hallowbonnie

Member
I felt so ashamed today because I had to break down and take my valium.I went and toured some efficiency apartments today at several different apartments and while I was so excited that they finally had some they could show me I felt this strong tug inside starting this morning for me to slow down and I kept feeling it as i went from place to place.I felt it building and finally the panic attacks happened after the 3rd place I toured it was so horrible it was as bad as the very first ones i had when I first left my ex over 4 years ago.I kept having to pull over .When I got home I put ice on my face and laid down and tried to concentrate on my breathing but I wasnt coming down so I took a valium and felt so defeated.I dont know what brought these on and I havent had a real problem with them in a while or if I had one it passed quickly.I do feel very calm now and watching my church channels Im starting to feel safe again.I just couldnt get a grasp for a while and I really hated that I really hate that out of control feeling.
 
Maybe its just stress? I mean, getting an apt. is exciting, but its still stress, you know? Like, I'm glad I'm going back to school...but its still stress, and I now require some as-needed stuff to handle that. See what I'm saying?

Don't worry about taking a low dose Valium when you need it. Its not a huge deal, trust me. I'm glad you're calm now.
 
Youre right I have to remember I have MPD and sometimes I will have to use my medicine thats why I was prescribed it,I feel better about it now that Ive calmed down.Youre right it is stress and me trying to make too much happen too fast I would still have to have money for the connections to get turned on etc and put some groceries in there and I barely have what I need to get in there plus I have to meet the 3 times the amount of rent requirement dont think there is any getting around that.
 
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