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Desire to be a vessel of honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ?
Join For His Glory for a discussion on how
https://christianforums.net/threads/a-vessel-of-honor.110278/
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Taking the time to pray? Christ is the answer in times of need
https://christianforums.net/threads/psalm-70-1-save-me-o-god-lord-help-me-now.108509/
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Depending upon the Holy Spirit for all you do?
Read through the following study by Tenchi for more on this topic
https://christianforums.net/threads/without-the-holy-spirit-we-can-do-nothing.109419/
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How are famous preachers sometimes effected by sin?
Join Sola Scriptura for a discussion on the subject
https://christianforums.net/threads/anointed-preaching-teaching.109331/#post-1912042
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For men only: a straightforward guide to women.
- Thread starter Vaccine
- Start date
Claudya
Member
I wonder why people need to read books written by a complete stranger so they can understand their own wives. I mean... wouldn't it be faster and easier (and kinda more personal and more accurate) to directly ask your wife if there's something about her you don't understand?
The guys who wrote the book have probably never met your wife or your daughters, so what can they possibly teach you about them that you don't already know or can't find out by asking them yourself?
The guys who wrote the book have probably never met your wife or your daughters, so what can they possibly teach you about them that you don't already know or can't find out by asking them yourself?
Vaccine
Member
The title is misleading, for men only was written by a woman. Her husband wrote one from a mans perspective which I thought was one dimensional and not representative of all men. My wife actually requested I read it, along with 5 love languages by smalley. We've been married 18 years and I admit I needed a little help since I grew up with all brothers.
Pizzaguy
Member
No.
Matthew G
Member
It would be, if she could give a direct answer. I think we all know that women - at least the majority of women - don't operate that way. I know mine doesn't. It reminds me of a scene from the show Mike & Molly that made my wife turn her head away with that "I'm in trouble" grin because she knew it was true. It went something like this.
Carl - Your problem is you're trying to approach this thing using logic and common sense and that ain't the way women work. (I can't remember the next exchange) In relationships, it's all about solidarity. That means you gotta like who she likes and hate who she hates.
Mike - Even if it makes absolutely no sense at all?
Carl - Especially when it makes no sense! That's when her convictions are the strongest!
Deborah13
Member
Grrrr...... 2 options, change the channel, throw the newspaper at the TV. Choose option 1, to stop the babbling.
B
Brother Mike
Guest
Give them a handful of money. Tell them you would be happy if they went shopping. Sneak out back, Jump in your buddies car and go fishing. Stop by gas station on way home, buy one of those 5.00 flowers they have on the counter. Rinse and repeat.
All you need to know.
Mike.
All you need to know.
Mike.
Speculative
Member
I can relate. The more I learn about my wife, the less I know--and I'll never figure out my daughter.
Mountain Man
Member
Feminism teaches us that Women are deep and complex creatures that and that a Man must educate himself to even come close to opening his little mind to the incredible Universe of Women.....on the other hand Men are simple creatures who respond to simple commands and are best managed with the performance/reward model of manipulation and control....in the same manner one would train a Dog or Horse.
Vaccine
Member
Love the responses, made me lol. Men do seem to think in terms of logic and reason. Women are like spaghetti, their thoughts all flow together. To watch my wife and daughters talk, when they get going sometimes I feel like they are an alien species. Not that I'm putting them down, I love them, I just enjoy the little glimpse I have into their world.
Mike S
Member
Uhhh...no. If a guy asks a woman what she wants it means he isn't sensitive enough. We're supposed to have esp or something. And don't EVER answer this question:"Honey, does this make me look fat?"
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
Claudya
Member
Claudya
Member
Well maybe I just have a different view on people. I'm very conviced we're all from earth. 8 Billion unique individuals. Gender is only one thing that determines our behaviour. Only one out of a million variables that describe us. Its importance seems way overrated to me.
So since we are all from earth we can usually learn to communicate. It may take a lot of continuous effort, but if two individuals love each other and want to understand each other they can learn to talk to each other in a way they both understand. There's no need to buy some book. You gotta learn to talk to the guy/ gal you live with. Do DON'T need to talk to a stereotype.
So I would never buy that sort of book. But if you enjoyed reading it and found it helpfull for your marriage, oh well I guess whatever makes you and your wife happier people is fine.
Claudya
Member
Claudya
Member
That's not what feminism teaches, or at least not the kind of feminism I'd support.
But you're right saying that those gender stereotypes make men look pretty much like lower creatures. It's sexism against men.
Mike S
Member
Well maybe I just have a different view on people. I'm very conviced we're all from earth. 8 Billion unique individuals. Gender is only one thing that determines our behaviour. Only one out of a million variables that describe us. Its importance seems way overrated to me.
So since we are all from earth we can usually learn to communicate. It may take a lot of continuous effort, but if two individuals love each other and want to understand each other they can learn to talk to each other in a way they both understand. There's no need to buy some book. You gotta learn to talk to the guy/ gal you live with. Do DON'T need to talk to a stereotype.
So I would never buy that sort of book. But if you enjoyed reading it and found it helpfull for your marriage, oh well I guess whatever makes you and your wife happier people is fine.
You miss the point. I didn't imply that we can't learn to communicate, I implied that men and women have fundamentally different ways of viewing the world, and fundamentally different expectations for communication.
Since I've been happily married for 39 years to a wonderfully strong and confident woman. I 've learned life from experience, and political correctness thinking doesn't carry much weight with me. Men and women are different - not unequal, just different - so you can make your peace with it or fight against human nature all your life.
Last edited by a moderator:
Claudya
Member
If you feel I missed the point I apologise. :yes
Any two people can have fundamentally different ways of communicating, especially if they are from different countries and have some age difference... and admittedly I get carried away easily when it comes to gender topics. So, er... sorry.
I didn't want to come across as aggressive.Though I disagree on the "fundamentally different ways of viewing the world" premise. There is a lot of science basically saying that while gender differences exist they can often be easier explained with cultural influence than biology, and all in all the overlap is much greater than the differences. So we have way more in common than what seperates us.
My original point was that all those books about what men and women "are like" aim to help with relationship by applying a stereotype of men or women. However, individual persons don't necessarily match the stereotypes. Those books may teach people things about their spouses that are false. So my hypothesis remains, talking to the individual you want to understand is a more accurate and effective source of information and understanding than reading a book about a certain group that individual belongs to. Unless of course the individual is for some reason incapable of introspection and proper communication.
It's not so much political correctnes. It's more that I think life could be so much easier for everyone if it wasn't for such overly simple stereotypisations.
Vaccine
Member
[MENTION=91320]Claudya[/MENTION] I actually meant that as a compliment. Its like saying a woman is capable of having multiple streams of thought going at the same time, like having several tabs going on your browser. Honestly, I meant to discuss women in a positive way. My wife is my best friend, she read a book she liked asked me to read it and we had a lot of fun talking about our differences. I get akick out of seeing the same traits in my daughters. She learned how I'm wired and gives me respect, I learned a little how she is wired and give her assurance, ya' know that woman just can't get too much reassurance.