Forgiveness

[WalterandDebbie]

I am struggling with 'forgiveness' on the one hand in the Lords prayer we pray 'Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that have trespassed against us'.. We are told to 'turn the other cheek'

I've been told that Forgiveness doesn't mean that people should not be held accountable for their actions. I should forgive but when someone does something very wrong that person should also be held accountable..

Your opinions are appreciated

We have had the same issue of forgiveness, but we are in that process of knowing how to forgive.

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

http://biblehub.com/kjv/mark/11-25.htm

We are told to 'turn the other cheek.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5:38-48

 

[be-thankful-Col-3:15]

I am struggling with 'forgiveness' on the one hand in the Lords prayer we pray 'Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that have trespassed against us'..

On the cross, Jesus prayed,

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." (in Luke 23:34)

After this prayer, one of those criminals gave himself to Jesus. So, I can see that forgiving prayer can help to get a person changed by God. I can see that in answer to Jesus' prayer, the man repented, was forgiven, but also became adopted as a child of God to share with Jesus in Paradise. So, when we seek forgiveness, we need to do this with the intention and interest and desire to share in love with the person.

"Therefore", we in prayer need to get ready, corrected, so we can share and relate well with the person, in case God really does change him or her . . . or be ready to keep on being longsuffering and a good example to the person while he or she does not change >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

Jesus on the cross desired for us to be forgiven. So - - in His heart, already . . . He forgave us, way back then. And now we desire for people to be reconciled with God; so in our heart we have already forgiven them, because we desire forgiveness for them

However, they need to confess how they have been wrong, so they can appreciate their need to change and be corrected by God. Then they can join us in family sharing (Ephesians 4:31-5:2), as children of God. So, forgiving needs to be with interest in the person joining us in family love, with our Father and Jesus our Groom and one another . . . not just "forgiving" them in order to get rid of them from our conscience!

But if a person really changes, he or she is no longer the wrong person who did those evil things . . . if the person has now become a loving and honest person; so, for us, there is no "need" for the person to suffer "consequences" . . . since it is silly to punish a loving and honest person for what an evil or less mature person has done

 

[Kidron]

Forgiving someone does not obligate you to let them do it again, and it does not obligate you to forget what they did.
The scripture does not say, "forgive and forget".
Its says, "forgive"., and that is a requirement and not a suggestion.
So, its ok to remember what they did, and to remember what type person they are as defined by their behavior.

 

[Brother Mike]

i have a hard time forgiving also, despite what it says in the Bible. I think it really comes down to the root of what all sin is about which is pride. I don't want to get rid of my grudge or feeling superior to them. Forgiveness definitely does not mean that there are still not consequences to their actions and it doesn't mean you need to be naive and trust someone who hasn't earned it.

That is good.

Love means not to retaliate back in the same manner. They smack you on the check, don't smack them back.

Pray for those that are butt heads toward you. Pray for them.

Luk_17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
Luk_17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

If a Brother or Sister does you wrong, Let them know, if they repent, then forgive them. Over and over if needed. They must repent and ask you to forgive, else they still feel justified in doing you wrong.

Even so, forgiving them does not always give them the place back right away they once had in your life.

Mike, Sorry I stole your TV, Please forgive me.
Mike Sorry I stole you DVD Player, please forgive me.
Mike Sorry about that wallet I took, Please forgive me.
Mike, Sorry I stole your Microwave, Please forgive me.
Mike.............. Just stop brother. I forgive you, but your not coming back inside my house anymore.

 

[WalterandDebbie]

I am struggling with 'forgiveness' on the one hand in the Lords prayer we pray 'Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that have trespassed against us'.. We are told to 'turn the other cheek'

I've been told that Forgiveness doesn't mean that people should not be held accountable for their actions.. I should forgive but when someone does something very wrong that person should also be held accountable..

Your opinions are appreciated

I believe that once a person forgave another person he or she, this is when God/our Lord Jesus sees that you have gave that offense to him. That this is when he knows that you have really forgotten about that issue. Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

You will feel much better in your heart that you can just cast all your cares upon him, but always according to his perfect will, so that he will know that you have turned it over to him for good.

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

[be-thankful-Col-3:15]

Well, there is a reason to forget what someone else has done > so our attention is to what we have done and making sure it stops.

 

[Kathy]

Forgiveness has very little to do with the other person, and everything to do with preventing the poisons of bitterness and hate from consuming you from the inside out. Depending on what the wrong has been, forgiveness does not mean the thwarting of justice. A murderer should still stand trial, a thief should return what was stolen, etc.

The other person's sorrow / guilt / etc. must also not be the basis of our forgiveness (although in my opinion it's even worse when someone -refuses- forgiveness, rather than just struggling with it.) Imagine if we waited for others before expressing hope, joy, love, creativity... No thanks. Forgiveness doesn't get a special "get out of jail free" card.

Lastly, forgiveness doesn't always mean going up to whoever has wronged you and saying "I forgive you". It is about unblocking the gunk that holding a grudge (anger, jealousy, envy, resentment, etc.) toward another causes to form within our own heart and conscience. (Think of how a literal heart can get blocked arteries, only this is a condition of your emotional heart.)

Lastly, and most importantly, the inability to forgive is a serious problem because if the heart is hardened / blocked by forgiveness, than it cannot be open to express love. And if the heart is blocked from expressing love, then how can we love our neighbor as ourselves?

Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was "okay". It doesn't mean what happened can or will be permitted to happen again. What it means is that we will not allow ourselves to drown in our own reaction to the wrongs that others do against us--because this potential reaction is often far more dangerous then whatever wrong-doing we perceive has been done.