Girl Left me heartbroken.

[Christ_Follower]

Hello, I really need some advice because I've been brokenhearted for quite sometime now. Here is the situation:

I dated this girl I know for around two years. Around 3 months ago she broke up with me. We just started arguing and getting nowhere. We are both believers however I started living for Christ just to get her to date me. I know that was wrong and now since we broke up I have nothing left to rely on except God. Due to this I know why he let us break up. The thing is she said she was breaking up with me to grow closer to God. However as of late I hear stories that she is flirting with a guy I know at our church. Also, on a mission trip both of us went to she admitted to loving someone else. I really don't understand why she would just try to fill in the hole that was left with another guy instead of Jesus. I am more upset than I am mad at her. One major attachment I have is that fact that we were physically intimate. We did not have sex but we were EXTREMELY close to it. I just need advice on what to do. Most people say just to get over it but for some reason it's just really hard. I think about her a lot and she is even in some of my dreams (us getting back together). I just really need some helpful, Godly advice.

 

[Blazin Bones]

In Psalm 37:4, David encourages the reader of the reader to "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

There is no reason for your heart to be broken unless you are not desiring the things of God. Before you get too upset, I realize the truth of that last statement is not always an easy state to get to. It sounds as though you got more involved than you should have, which means part of this brokenness I assume is coming from guilt or feeling deceived.

The only solution I can offer is that you need to be caring for your relationship to God. Focus on his work in your life, and let him worry about her heart. Admit where you did not live right in the relationship, and let him guide you to whatever he has planned next.

At this point, you are not responsible for her walk. I would be hurt as well if I were given a reason that turned out not to be true, but again, that is all the more reason to focus on Christ's part in your life.

 

[Jesusfreak97]

I'm not a guy but I know about broken hearts. Be kind to yourself. Don't just "get over it" that's bad. If you could just "get over it" it would either mean that either a) you aren't human :shocked! or b) she meant nothing to you (which is obviously not true from your post) when something like this happens you need to go through a grieving process. Let that happen. I honestly HATE people who just tell you to "get over it"

"just get over a three year relationship that meant a lot to you and clearly left you hurt. just get over it" I'm sorry but NO! Let yourself grieve. If you were a girl I would say eat chocloate and listen to break up songs but you're a dude so that probably won't work. lolz I'm totally joking about that btw. also if it feels like your hanging on to your grief (and you'll know if you are, no rush) make yourself happy but not by powering through it like a man, buy a joke book, watch a comedy, make yourself laugh, (when you have finished grieving if you feel it has been too long) and who knows! maybe as time goes on you will come out of your grief naturally. Great for you if you do! Also read the Bible when you can, get in to a youth group. Give yourself other things to live for other than this girl. Maybe in the youth group you'll find support. ;) just don't hurt yourself by "getting over it" too quick" that can hurt you.

 

[Christ_Follower]

Thanks for the advice. It stinks how it takes the bad times for us to actually listen to God speaking. I do attend a youth group regularly. Also, I do some service projects. I have other things to do other than sitting around grieving. I just find it hard whenever I hear about her and what she is doing. One of our mutual friends I recently talked to for comforting said that "She is happier without me." After she said that I figured she was just like Job's friends so I am done going to her for comfort. It makes it easier to know why I am going through it. (Because I became a christian to win her heart which is wrong) But I still go through the storm. Also, recently I have heard rumors being spread about me being in love with this 14 year old girl (I'm 18). I hung out with this girl on a Mission Trip, but I was always with a group of JUST friends. So I dont really know what to do about her. I do pray regularly about it but I suppose all I can do is wait patiently for the Lord.

 

[Jesusfreak97]

hmm...well it seems to me that you did more than you needed to. I met this guy and he pretended to be a Christian to win my heart, you...became a Christian to get this girl. It seems that you went beyond just "getting by" on the "Christian checklist". Well weather you did it to get a girl or not somewhere along the lines it looks like you fell head over heels for Jesus somewhere along the way and that's still pretty awesome.

You can't become a Christian if you don't accept Christ as your savoir for real. Doing that for a girl, that's is impossible to accept Christ for real. Maybe this isn't because you did something wrong. Maybe this is God's way of wooing you to him so that she gets out of the way so you can see Him more clearly. Our God is a jealous God and He wants all of us, not part of us. Maybe this is how you can give all of yourself to God.

Don't let guilt trip you up. Jesus paid for your sins! you are covered. Keep improving of course but do it out of love for God, not fear of punishment.